This is Avelyn and John. It's not going to make much sense to you, considering you haven't read the NaNo, but it gives you a taste of what the end is. It's a little rough, but I needed time away from NaNo. Reviews and Likes are appreciated! 
~.~
"John!" Avelyn ran out of the Academy, her long auburn hair waving in the wind behind her. The air was still, like it was just about to rain. He turned, his face sad. He looked like if she said a word he would crumble into a million pieces.
"Yes, StarEyes?"
She ran towards him, her jacket flapping open. "Don't leave. Please." She grabbed his coat sleeve, feeling the soft fleece under her fingers.
"Leave?" John said, raising his eyebrows. "Who said anything about leaving?"
"Dean said--"
"Bah. What does Dean know?" His eyes were swimming with tears.
"What happened with Eitan wasn't me, you know that right?"
"I think you've made your choice StarEyes. You don't have to lie. I'll always--" He reached up to touch the pink scar on her cheek, a single tear sliding down his face. "Be your best friend. Exactly what you've wanted."
She was crying, the salty tears running down her face. "John, that's not what I want!"
"Isn't that what you told me?" He was crying too, and his hand was still on her cheek, warming her chilled face.
"I didn't mean it! Please don't leave! Let me explain."
"I'm not leaving StarEyes. I was going to get my stuff out of my car. I changed my mind."
"I can't let you fight Calberl without me, can I?"
"John..."
"Do you remember," he said, dropping his hand from her cheek.
She caught it and put it back. "I remember that I love you more than I love myself." She interupted, smiling through the cold tears. She kissed his hand, holding it against her lips.
He shuddered. "You chose your future."
"I chose you."
"You chose Eitan." He said, starting to turn away, his face pained...
"John. I chose you. From the moment I saw that vision in the hospital, I knew I wanted you."
"You should have told me that earlier."
"I wasn't sure... And then that night seeing you with Arryn..."
"I never wanted Arryn. I wanted you." He said, starting to walk away, wrenching his hand from her grasp. "But you had no interest in me. So I gave up..."
She ran after him, grabbing the back of his coat. "Please don't give up John! I love you! Can't you put the past behind--"
"No. StarEyes, I can't. It'll always be in the back of my mind. I'll always remember."
"I remember a lot of things too. That doesn't stop me..." She said, turning him to face her, standing on her tiptoes so that they were almost nose to nose. He was so much taller than she was... "I remember what it was like to be held by Eitan. And then there is you. You never tried to let me know how you felt. I've-- I don't even know what I'm saying! All I know is that I love you!"
He looked at her, his eyes swimming with tears and his face frigid. "You love me? Why? You have everything you could want with Eitan. You don't need me."
She reached up and pushed a stray curl out of his eyes. "I need adventure. And that's what you give me." She traced her finger over his cheekbones and under his chin. He almost melted, looking into her eyes. "But, won't you want something else once you have me?"
"Never." Her lips were very close to his, his breath warm against her cheek.
"Are you sure StarEyes? You've seen what will happen if we-- if we ever-- the future."
"I don't care."
"But you've seen the pain. Seen what will happen--"
"Shhh... Let's go fall in love with fate, John."
And his lips, closing the distance between them whispered, "Okay."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hey!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
Yes, you were right. I did not really understand what the story was about as it felt like a chapter from the middle of a book or a conversation that I was not a part of. However, that is exactly what I loved about this piece. We do not know these characters or their stories, or what they are talking about. It makes them just another two people out of the random, and the anonymity adds to the charm of the story. It makes it more relatable and allows your readers to connect to it in a different way.
I really loved the dialogues. They weren't really detailed, but they were extremely powerful and strong and I could feel the emotion behind every word. The desperation in their attempts to make the other see and understand them was always there and even though I don't know these people, I felt bad for them. I felt bad for all the misunderstanding that had got in between them, and that had led to this tearful confrontation.
I do feel that they love each other very much and circumstances and misunderstandings had pulled them apart. I was relieved when I realized that they were going to have a happy ending after all, and no one was walking away from each other. The name 'StarEyes' and 'Eitan' made me feel that this is probably not based in this world. Also, I am sure John mentioned something about looking into the future and seeing all the pain, and that makes me wonder if somehow time travel is involved in this story. It would be a nice twist though. Knowing the future and not being able to prevent it, just because you can't help what you eel for another person. It could be a tragically beautiful story!
Can I just say how much I have fallen in love with that line? It is beautiful, impactful and perfect thing to say.
If I had any complaints then it would be about the beginning. I think you could play around with some words and make it even better.
That's all!
Keep writing and have a great day!
"Shhh... Let's go fall in love with fate, John." < Wow I really loved that line! This is a really wonderful peace! I love the feeling this couple creates. Very romantic and pure, but obviously a bit troubled. The only thing I noticed that could use a little fixing would be the very first sentence. It says that her hair was waving in the wind but then goes on to say that the air was still.I get what you mean but it can be a little confusing. Aside from that this is brilliant! Keep writing! you've sure got the talent!