The mary-rose society book 1:lormerls realm

ok thank ya and i will check out those rules

Hello Pointe, Pink here, as requested
First of all, I welcome you to YWS. As a gift, I'll give you a penguin!

Anyways, on to the review!

*The first thing I noticed is the length of this post. Posting such long things can scare reviewers away so maybe you should have posted this in segments or something to make it easier to review :3

#FF0000 ">WARNING: This review is a bit long and slightly in depth, be prepared.
_____

Prologue
2 years ago

“Do you think we’ve lost them?” Sonny turned as they ran through the woods behind her house her sisters Jane and Marilyn looked back “I doubt it” Jane the youngest whispered as the three quickened their pace “she’s right” a chillingly familiar voice came out of the darkness “my guess is no” Marilyn joked the girls spun slowly in a circle watching as the scarlet ring members emerged form the darkness.

The realm of Lormerl
Chapter 1
We (the three sisters) were captured by members of the scarlet ring which was a ring of people from a different planet than ours now I know what your going to say “that’s not possible blah blah blah” but I promise its true see we (my sisters and I) were children of a human and a child of Lolifiet (my father’s father) and the scarlet ring sort of had a problem with that, now before you go all crazy about little green people the people of Lormerl are pretty much like you and me. About 500 years ago their planet blew up and that’s why everyone thinks there is no such thing, the planet blew up before anybody knew to look at planets so that’s why you have never heard of it. But anyway the people knew their planet was going to blow up so they fled their planet to earth of course the people formed a secret underground world called the realm of Lormerl the people who originally fled Lormerl the planet are long dead but their children’s children’s children are alive. Now my sisters and I are part of the 4th generation of Lolifiet and we are outlaws. Why you may ask? Because my father was one of the few Lormerl’s who went to a human college and there he met my mother Katlin Richshards and they fell in love. Father and Mother ran away and got married and 2 years later had me (sonny) then Marilyn and lastly Jane then the scarlet ring started getting suspious about why Father hadn’t returned and so they started searching and that’s when father had to explain what he was where he came from to mother and Mother got scared and problely didn’t believe him until the scarlet ring came to our little house in the woods and took mother and father away killing them in the process some how father before he died got message to an old friend Madeline who took me and my younger sisters into her home raised us like regular girls until I turned 14 and Marilyn turned 12 and Jane turned 10 the weird thing about us is we all have the same birthday we were all born on june-18 but anyway Madeline explained about our heritage from the Lormerl planet and once we knew the scarlet ring started coming after us.

But anyway the people knew their planet was going to blow up so they fled their planet to earth of course the people formed a secret underground world called the realm of Lormerl the people who originally fled Lormerl the planet are long dead but their children’s children’s children are alive

Chapter 2
Our living quarters were crude why they didn’t kill us made my sisters and I puzzle over that even now they didn’t talk to us, 2 times a day our food came strange cuisine and disgusting old human food we hardly were ever not sick the sink leaked and the bedroom was cold and there were no blankets, no warmth in any room and we lived in the clothes we had tried to escape which now 2 years later were in tatters and everyday there was just one topic of conversation Escape our guard was name Vlad and he became almost a friend and it was obvious that he and Marilyn liked each other but Vlad though a friend had a strong sense of duty and would not help us escape Marilyn, Jane and I begged endless hours but to no avail but he wasn’t evil and tried to get us more edible food but when Marilyn got horribly ill and the Lormerl’s refused to send a doctor to help treat her his promise to never let us out changed.

Okay maybe i flipped out and I'm sorry thanks for your feedback

OK LISTEN IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER WROTE A BOOK AND TO ME IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD> BUT WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THINK

Prologue
2 years ago

“Do you think we’ve lost them?” Sonny turned as they ran through the woods behind her house her sisters Jane and Marilyn looked back “I doubt it” Jane the youngest whispered as the three quickened their pace “she’s right” a chillingly familiar voice came out of the darkness “my guess is no” Marilyn joked the girls spun slowly in a circle watching as the scarlet ring members emerged form the darkness.


Part I:
The realm of Lormerl
Chapter 1
We (the three sisters) were captured by members of the scarlet ring which was a ring of people from a different planet than ours now I know what your going to say “that’s not possible blah blah blah” but I promise its true see we (my sisters and I) were children of a human and a child of Lolifiet (my father’s father) and the scarlet ring sort of had a problem with that, now before you go all crazy about little green people the people of Lormerl are pretty much like you and me. About 500 years ago their planet blew up and that’s why everyone thinks there is no such thing, the planet blew up before anybody knew to look at planets so that’s why you have never heard of it. But anyway the people knew their planet was going to blow up so they fled their planet to earth of course the people formed a secret underground world called the realm of Lormerl the people who originally fled Lormerl the planet are long dead but their children’s children’s children are alive. Now my sisters and I are part of the 4th generation of Lolifiet and we are outlaws. Why you may ask? Because my father was one of the few Lormerl’s who went to a human college and there he met my mother Katlin Richshards and they fell in love. Father and Mother ran away and got married and 2 years later had me (sonny) then Marilyn and lastly Jane then the scarlet ring started getting suspious about why Father hadn’t returned and so they started searching and that’s when father had to explain what he was where he came from to mother and Mother got scared and problely didn’t believe him until the scarlet ring came to our little house in the woods and took mother and father away killing them in the process some how father before he died got message to an old friend Madeline who took me and my younger sisters into her home raised us like regular girls until I turned 14 and Marilyn turned 12 and Jane turned 10 the weird thing about us is we all have the same birthday we were all born on june-18 but anyway Madeline explained about our heritage from the Lormerl planet and once we knew the scarlet ring started coming after us.

Chapter 2
Our living quarters were crude why they didn’t kill us made my sisters and I puzzle over that even now they didn’t talk to us, 2 times a day our food came strange cuisine and disgusting old human food we hardly were ever not sick the sink leaked and the bedroom was cold and there were no blankets, no warmth in any room and we lived in the clothes we had tried to escape which now 2 years later were in tatters and everyday there was just one topic of conversation Escape our guard was name Vlad and he became almost a friend and it was obvious that he and Marilyn liked each other but Vlad though a friend had a strong sense of duty and would not help us escape Marilyn, Jane and I begged endless hours but to no avail but he wasn’t evil and tried to get us more edible food but when Marilyn got horribly ill and the Lormerl’s refused to send a doctor to help treat her his promise to never let us out changed.




Chapter 3
Vlad helped us escape. As we ran down the hall he carried Marilyn who had passed out when we got out of the doorway “I know where you can go” gasped Vlad we reached the end of the prison building dashing out of the grey stone doorway and for a moment standing there in front of the prison gates on the busy main street we kept running till we got to a deserted alley Vlad got a strange look on his face as though rembering something unpleasant “what” said Jane leaning against a building “nothing” said Vlad shaking his head “we need to go this way” he started leading us down the alley and out into another street then turning left then right then left..

I lost track where we kept turning but finally we reached our destination about an hour later “the Mary-rose society” Vlad whispered he knocked on the door of an town house in an apartment house “who is it” rasped a voice from behind the door “Vlad Mirtsowitz” the door was unlocked and a old man looked out “who are they” he pointed a knarly finger at me, Jane and Marilyn still in Vlad’s arms “the Mary-rose sisters” Vlad replied in a stage whisper the old man gasped in alarm opening the door wide and waving us in “what is the Mary-rose sisters?” I questioned “we are Jane, Marilyn and Sonny not the maryrose sisters” the old man was staring at us “they resemble their father so much” Jane flinched her face darkening eyes darting around the room. Vlad and the old man exchanged a dark look “lets tell them” Vlad said sighing and sitting down on the large designer couch in the corner of the living room and settling Marilyn: still asleep among the cushions “sit down sit down” the old man insisted I settled myself on the edge of a chaise lounge Jane sat down on an armchair while the old man leaned against the wall “ok where do I begin” the old man started clearing his throat “500 years ago the Lormerl’s came to Earth and formed an underground society called the Lormerl Realm a couple of hundred years later there was a war and the nation broke into fragmented pieces one still remains today: the scarlet Ring the scarlet ring now rules this realm and has outlawed Inter- marriages” “what are inter marriages -? Why did they outlaw it?” questioned Jane “inter marriages are between humans and Lormerl’s and they outlawed it because…………..” he exchanged glances with Vlad “the king 3 years ago fell for a woman from the outside world and ran away with her, the new king well he outlawed it” “why” I pressed “because he was also in love with this human, jealously can do a lot girls that’s a lesson you must learn if you are to lead the Mary-rose society out of the shadows” “wait a second hold up for just a second” I burst out “lead them out of the shadows?” I yelled “explain” the old man’s head jerked up clearing his throat looking annoyed “your father was the one who fell in love with the human maiden” Jane’s face portrayed shock her face whiting making her face uncharacteristically pale “our father” I breathed “yes” Vlad spoke up for the first time since we had entered the apartment I put my head in my hands and started to cry all this was weighing heavy on my heart.

Part II: the Mary-rose society
Chapter 1:
The old man gave us a bedroom in the back of his apartment Marilyn who had woke up for about an hour claimed the twin bed in the corner while I took the top bunk of the bunk bed to wait till morning.

The next morning the old man was pounding on our door yelling time to get up and start the day Marilyn groaned and rolled over while Jane crawled from her bed to the corner where the dresser was; which held the old man said, clothes that would fit us. Once dressed we entered the living room Vlad was sitting on the couch watching the plasma screen, the old man and an old woman I didn’t recognize sat at the little table in the kitchen when we entered the room, the little woman jumped up bustling forward holding a plate of bacon and eggs “hello dears” “I'm Mrs. Gigon but you may call me Missy” she examined us closely “you look so like your father when he was your age rest his soul” he eyes clouded over as though rembering something unpleasant then the look left her clear blue eyes “come into the kitchen and have some breakfast” she urged us we followed her into the sunny kitchen.

Chapter 2:
After breakfast the old man lead us into a cozy study off the living room “to business” he declared sitting behind his desk and shuffling his papers “you cant stay here” he said in a quiet voice “you must go to the Sholamain” Vlad groaned in a way that made us all uneasy “the sholamain also known as the S.S.M. is a boarding house for important officials and guest it is the one place the scarlet ring has not been able to penetrate meaning it is the strong hold for the people the Mary-rose society also known as the M.R.S. wants to keep safe” after this speech Jane and I exchanged glances “vlad would go with us?” Marilyn spoke up “he would be housed in the Millian Soldier Unit Hall and train most of the time, you three would go to school at the Junolistic School of learning located inside the fort walls you would learn about the history of Lormerl and the Mary-rose society to prepare you for the things ahead here look” he handed us each a pamphlet

It read;
The Sholamain Boarding House, the Millian Soldier Unit and The Junolistic School of learning:

The Sholamain Fort is a safe hold for young men and woman to learn about their heritage and learn how to fight the scarlet ring

The Sholamain boarding house holds the important officials and certain guests that the Mary-rose society wants to keep safe

The Junotistic school of Learning
Is a school where young people learn about their heritage, the planet where our people came from and the history of the scarlet ring. it prepares the students for further learning in their unique fields.


The Millian Soldier Unit
For those students who want to continue their studies in war and fight they will learn more about the history of war and be trained on their fighting skills

*the sholamain fort could be penetrated at any moment all students within the walls will be briefed with simple fighting skills

“Wow” said Marilyn “yes its rather complicated” the old man nodded “and here are the list of activities available at Junotistic School”







*History (required if you are going to become a recorder)
*advancing fighting and leadership skills (required for M.S.U, recorder and doctor.)
* Doctor and nurse classes (required for field doctor)
*the history of our planet(optional)
*the history of the scarlet ring (required)
*the history of the Mary-rose society (required)

Extra circular/week long classes
*the scarlet ring is it a threat –given by dr.milliant-
*the Mary-rose society more to know –given by Ms.crims-
*here and now fighting courses (need a certain grade in advancing fighting and leadership skills) –given by Mr. Fredrick Jarlinton -
*what to do doctor classes (need certain grade in doctor and nurse class) –given by Ms. Crims-
*the outdoors –given by Gina Uina-

Schools to go onto after Junotistic are completed:

*Millian soldier unit (for a person becoming a soldier)
*DNU dimbling Norotonling University (for person becoming a doctor)
*Gina U. (for person becoming a recorder)

Job information:
M.S.U.: be on call 24/7 for battle (life risk: very high)
Doctor: treat wounded in either a hospital or in battle (life risk: field: high hospital: normal)
Nurse: assist doctor (life risk: same as doctors)
Recorder: record what happens to be put in the Mary-rose archives could be DANGEROUS (life risk: field: very high, office: normal)

“well” I said “being a doctor sounds cool” Jane started hard at her pamphlet “no a recorder” she argued looking up grinning “you two are crazy” Marilyn laughed shaking her long blond hair over her shoulder “its soldier all the way” I rolled my eyes “when do we leave” Vlad asked “tonight” Missy speaking for the first time “got it” Jane smiled again “ok girls I’ll need you to fill out the forms” the old man said……..

Part III: Sholamain Fort
Chapter 1:

We settled in nicely our days went like this:

Week 1:
*breakfast 6:00
It will be noted that from 8 to 10 is space for extra circular
-History 10:00
*Free hour
-advancing fighting and leadership skills 12:00
*Lunch 1:30
-the history of our planet 2:30
*free ½ hour
-the history of the scarlet ring 3:00
-the history of the Mary-rose society 4:00
-doctor and nurse class 5:00
*free hour
*dinner 6:15
*study hour
*condemned to dormitory 8:00
*lights officially out 12:00

I was in dormitory C. while Jane was in dormitory F. Marilyn slept in the Ladies wing of M.S.U. and did most of her classes there while Jane and I joined her for the fighting classes. The day I arrived I met the girls in my dorm and toured the campus. Then at 11:00 me and my new friend Laura lay down in our side by side bunks and fell asleep.

“Wake up girls” the clear shout penetrated my dreams and brought me abruptly to earth. It was two weeks later Laura and I walked to our first classes together we had both signed up for: the what to do doctor class that was being held that morning in Classroom D6 it took us at least ½ and hour to find the room and that was with Laura’s GPS once we found it we settled in seats near the front and pulled out clean notebooks to take copious notes, Miss Crims came in dressed in a neat black suit with her hair brushed to perfection and pushed back from her face with a blue headband in her hand she carried a briefcase which she placed on the desk opening it and pulling out her papers “good morning class” she greeted us inclining her head slightly she had a charisma of “I think I'm better than you” which made me dislike her instantly “I am Ms. Belinda Crims and I am going to be teaching your what to do doctor class feel free to take notes because all things I teach will be a portion in the test I give at the end of the week” after the speech she started walking around the room looking at random people “to begin I want to stress to you how difficult and dangerous this field is” her face darkened a secret but with a little shake of her head the expression cleared “but since you’re here I have to teach you so” she handed the people in the front row a large pile of textbooks “pass these down please” she said sharply when the textbook fell on my desk I looked at the cover it had a stethoscope and nurse cap on the top and across it in gold cursive, glossy type was Ms. Crims version of doctoring “isn’t she full of herself” said Laura pointing to the cover I nodded opening it to page one “what to expect from a wounded soldier” “oh this is going to be boring” Shirley who sat behind me groaned I turned around to agree when Ms.Crims I jumped she was standing right behind Shirley and had heard the words she had said “if you do not think you will enjoy MY class you MAY leave” Shirley blushed “no I want to continue” suddenly there was a huge boom Ms.Crims let out a high pitched squeal and dived behind her desk. Over the loud speakers the president spook up “attention all students the defensive wall around the fort is being penetrated we have little time please proceed in an orderly fashion towards the nearest exit” Laura hopped up grabbing her bag “come on” she said to me waving me over to where she and Shirley were standing by the door the three of us linked arms and walked towards the nearest exit

Part III: Dreams of the Three Graces
Chapter 1:
A lot happened once we walked through the exit fear really sat in the air was full of smoke and it choked me I wanted my sisters but I knew Marilyn must be preparing a defensive life with the other soldiers and trainee’s, she was with Vlad who would never let anyone touch or hurt her but Jane…. I looked around my heart racketing around in my chest “Jane” I yelled but in the smoke and noise my voice was lost. Laura and Shirley guided me to the edge of the fort pulling me who was in a trance through a hole in the fort wall big enough for us to squeeze through once outside the smoke suddenly cleared the three of us rushed down the road till we came to a wood which we dove into I started to cry “Jane, Marilyn Vlad” I whispered the two other girls began gathering stuff to build a fort to sleep in I stood up and began gathering pine needle in pile to make a bed Shirley gathered drift wood from beside a nearby stream to make a small fire and Laura gathered large sticks to make a lean-to “what are we going to do” Shirley the first one to speak in an hour sat down and began making a fire “I don’t know” said Laura she placed her bag in a hollow tree to keep it dry I sniffled in answer still hoping the people I cared about, the people I had left behind would be okay.
We took turns on watch Laura went first I settled down underneath a makeshift blanket made of dry leaves after Laura did watch for 3 hours then it was my turn I sat down in the doorway of the make-shift lean-to as I heard Laura’s snores join Shirley’s I leaned against the wall trying to get comfortable suddenly I heard some cracking in the bracken I leapt up as still as I could be suddenly some our friends from the Junotistic school “oh my gosh! You’re here you’re here” an exactable girl named Kate ran up to me jumping up and down, her best friend Raven Simone calm and collected placed a pale hand on Kate’s shoulder. Raven looked shyly through her long Black eyelashes her red lips parted in a thin lipped smile “hi” she whispered I nodded more noise father in the woods all three of us stood poised to jump onto the would be attackers they saw us before we saw them “sonny” a cracked tired voice screamed “Marilyn” I ran to the edge of our protected clearing, Marilyn supported by Vlad collapsed beside the fire Vlad sat down beside her putting her arm protectively “what is it?” I questioned Vlad and Marilyn were very private people and hardly ever did more than hold hands and this cuddle in-front of the dying fire seemed more comforting than loving. “Ja. Ja” Marilyn tried to say but then she started to sob I glanced at Vlad “Jane got killed” he explained in a clipped voice, Jane had been like a little sister to him I felt my self fall to the ground Raven and Kate started offering condolences Laura and Shirley brought from their deep sleep by the noise came out from the Lean-to when Vlad explained the story to them Laura and Shirley sat down simultaneity and put the arms round my shoulders shooting each other worried looks over my head. I had little time to mourn we held a small honoring service while Marilyn and I sat and sobbed doing little while the other bustled around us…..

Chapter 2:
Over the next few days more people arrived and then we started building a fort. Each person had a job and Laura, Shirley and I were named leaders; they called us the three graces we built a wall and some of our Magicians put magical protection around the perimeter, Vlad and some other guys built small one-room huts and a big warehouse Marilyn and Vlad the only soldiers in the unit started training part of the group in war and fighting while Laura took another part of the group on a weekend trip to collect food after about two weeks We, the three graces had the fort which we called fort Jane running smoothly the soldiers that Marilyn and Vlad trained 24/7 were housed in the large warehouse, families lived in larger huts with up to 3 rooms and others lived in the dirt floored 1 windowed huts well that is except for me, Laura and Shirley we lived in a two story house along the stream where we had several boats for scouting trips.
Downstairs was the official meeting room and upstairs were the bedroom where we slept and the kitchen/living room where we did everything else as the days went on Laura, Shirley and I debated attacking a fort near ours where the scarlet hand housed some of their more dangerous fighters but after going to a training we decided the warriors had a long way to go before trying to penetrate the scarlet rings fort.

Part IIII: the black circle
Chapter 1:
I stood on the edge of the stream watching as Vlad and Marilyn directed troops into the boats docked along the small marina we had built it was the day of the first war and would forever be called Dooms day because of how many people we would lose in this epic battle Laura, Shirley and I would not be going, we and some of the other Mary-rose society members would be staying behind to protect the fort and prepare for when the fighters came back. We worked on a hospital and Laura and I trained several people to become Doctors during quick sessions. Over the weeks we had built a school in which during the week Laura, Vlad, Marilyn and I taught classes many people attended but I still worried what would happen? No one could know. But I felt an ill ease settle in my heart as the boats pushed away from the dock the soldiers waving as they sang a sea shanty in a half hearted way. “their not ready” Shirley said coming up behind me “no but their as ready as we could make them” Laura said from her place beside me the three of us linked arms and started walking towards the house talking in low voices worried about what would happen and how bad we would suffer in the end.

Chapter 2:
We heard a shout come from the docks late that night, we (Laura, Shirley and I) had sat in our kitchen each of us glancing out the windows to see if any ships arrived in the docks we had finally fallen asleep our heads resting on the wooden table top. I sprung up running to the door and throwing it open yelling so that Laura and Shirley would wake up I rushed out of the house and down to the water-front Marilyn her face smeared with dirt and smoke stood on the pier standing beside Vlad “help” Vlad shouted to the people rushing to the Water’s edge men carried the wounded to the hospital lying on the make shift cots that cluttered the floor once all the wounded had been moved all the other soldiers lay down in the warehouse to sleep for a while I was in my element I organized the doctors and nurses together making a list of them then giving them each a place to tend to the soldiers I ran around helping where I could but no matter what we did some died including Raven I held her hand to the last moment of her life when her eyes fluttered shut her long lashes lacing together I wept as I added her to the dead list.
Meanwhile Marilyn Vlad and Shirley were making a census out of the 678 people we had had before the battle only 453 remained that meant of difference of 225 people! The statistics were very scary we lost 225 people in a war against only 123 people according to the census Marilyn had brought back when she scouted the area that showed us how seriously good the scarlet ring was and how much father we had to go……