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my younger self

by LadyBug


Author note: the mistakes, lowercase, and weird change of style throughout  are all there for a reason, to help physically show the narrative!!  


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Sat May 13, 2023 9:08 am
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AkuRashomon wrote a review...



Hi @LadyBug! Cute name and I am Ina also known as loveissourgrapes. I am here to give you a little review/comment for another poem of yours that caught my eye. Kinda relatable I guess??? Anyways, let's get into it.

First impressions. I thought it was a poem about how you used to feel as a younger human being without the knowledge you have now. But I realized the "you" could be an old person you used to know or yourself. But since I don't have any friends since I was a kid, I would talk to myself trying to find answers for the questions here.

I imagine a grown woman looking at her old baby photos. Crying and talking to herself, saying to herself what you have written here. Then continues to write this letter type poem. I love how the vibe of the font and the line at the start [I forgot what it's called but yeah]. Overall, it's a good. Keep it up! Have a wonderful day or night everyone and for our lovely writer @LadyBug!




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Fri Oct 28, 2022 8:29 pm
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smile wrote a review...



hello there

i just want to say that this piece is very simple yet brings lots of emotions and i can relate to it!
i mean anyone would relate,right? everyone has a younger version that we constantly look back at to see from her perspective,if we've made progress or not.i really like when something simple could be turned into a piece that .great job i will check more of your work keep it up ;)




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Mon Sep 05, 2022 6:18 pm
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Mageheart wrote a review...



Hi Ladybug! I'm here to review your poem.

One of the first things I noticed about this poem was how short it was. Which absolutely isn't a bad thing: it really speaks to how this is a passing thought you have occasionally, rather than something that continuously eats you up. The second thing I noticed about this poem is that me, you, and @FireEyes are all apparently very similar people, since I've also thought a lot about what my past self would think of present me.

I usually think of my worst times being behind me, so the final lines of

your sweet soul. would be so
disappointed


was jarring in a way you might not have expected. That's definitely not a detractor, though! If anything, it's part of what really makes this poem standout. Your first thought is if your past self is proud of you, and then your third and fourth ones are about healing and care. The "would you be mad?" line is the only line that contradicts them and hints at where your thoughts end up by the end of the poem.

My one critique is that I'd love to see more of why you think your past self would be mad at you. I definitely love the brevity of this piece, but I finished it wanting to know more about how you disappointed your past self. Maybe it's because of how I usually look at my past self? Even if that's not the case, I'd love to see more in this poem or a sequel poem that builds on what you hinted at with that disappointment.

All in all, I really enjoyed this poem! I'll have to check out more of your poetry soon. :)




LadyBug says...


Thank you so much, Mage!!



Mageheart says...


You're welcome! :)



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Sat Sep 03, 2022 3:29 pm
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FireEyes wrote a review...



Hey LadyBug! Here with another review for you!

I think about this kind of thing a lot. Although, I think I'm a lot more violent than you are. I'd much rather put my younger self in imminent peril than sympathize with her. Anyway let's get on with the review!

I'll start with critique. With the note you put, it's hard to find any mistakes, but I do think this line:

would you recognize the girl who cared for you?
Doesn't completely fit the poem. It makes me think you're talking about some other person your younger self would recognize, not necessarily yourself. But, this could have also been a choice in the style. So other than that, no real critique.

Now time to praise your work! I meant to tell you this about your other work, but this still applies to this poem; you give off such an heir of maturity throughout your writing. I'm still shocked when I see your age listed.

Now for this poem specifically, my favourite part had to be
your sweet soul. would be so disappointed
I think all of us had huge aspirations when we were younger for who we thought we'd be. Rarely do we ever live up to those expectations. You hit the nail on the head, especially how you formatted this line with the word 'disappointed' being on another line to show emphasis.

Your poem is also quite short. If I did this I would have probably made it longer, but I think this lengths fits the theme better. It's like one of those flitting thoughts you have about the past that don't last that long, but you try to build the thought more later in your mind.

But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of it useful! Again, wonderful poem. Always a joy to read. Have a nice day! Anyway byeeeeeeeeeeeeee<33




LadyBug says...


I always love reading your reviews! Thank you!



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Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:25 pm
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Lib says...



dear




LadyBug says...


no



Lib says...


n



LadyBug says...


i ship you and hunter



Lib says...


who



LadyBug says...


hunterrrrr ur man



Lib says...


whO



LadyBug says...


ur boyfriend hunter long legs



Lib says...


lonny no legs



LadyBug says...


nah hunter, lonny is sm's



Lib says...


no



LadyBug says...


lonny x libby slowburn enemies to lovers 2,000,000 words



LadyBug says...


hunter left u



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Tue Aug 23, 2022 4:13 pm
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fantasies says...



a beautiful piece.




LadyBug says...


thank you dear



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Tue Aug 23, 2022 3:13 am
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alliyah says...



Loving the formatting you chose for this -> to me speaks of the sort of hesitancy of the narrator for the cursor to still be visible. Heartbreaking conclusion. Thanks for posting!




LadyBug says...


Thank you so much! <3



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Mon Aug 22, 2022 9:46 pm
LadyBug says...



n/a





Ogres are like onions.
— Shrek