Young Writers Society

Hi @LadyBug! Cute name and I am Ina also known as loveissourgrapes. I am here to give you a little review/comment for another poem of yours that caught my eye. Kinda relatable I guess??? Anyways, let's get into it.

First impressions. I thought it was a poem about how you used to feel as a younger human being without the knowledge you have now. But I realized the "you" could be an old person you used to know or yourself. But since I don't have any friends since I was a kid, I would talk to myself trying to find answers for the questions here.

I imagine a grown woman looking at her old baby photos. Crying and talking to herself, saying to herself what you have written here. Then continues to write this letter type poem. I love how the vibe of the font and the line at the start [I forgot what it's called but yeah]. Overall, it's a good. Keep it up! Have a wonderful day or night everyone and for our lovely writer @LadyBug!

hello there

i just want to say that this piece is very simple yet brings lots of emotions and i can relate to it!
i mean anyone would relate,right? everyone has a younger version that we constantly look back at to see from her perspective,if we've made progress or not.i really like when something simple could be turned into a piece that .great job i will check more of your work keep it up

Hi Ladybug! I'm here to review your poem.

One of the first things I noticed about this poem was how short it was. Which absolutely isn't a bad thing: it really speaks to how this is a passing thought you have occasionally, rather than something that continuously eats you up. The second thing I noticed about this poem is that me, you, and @FireEyes are all apparently very similar people, since I've also thought a lot about what my past self would think of present me.

I usually think of my worst times being behind me, so the final lines of

your sweet soul. would be so
disappointed

Hey LadyBug! Here with another review for you!

I think about this kind of thing a lot. Although, I think I'm a lot more violent than you are. I'd much rather put my younger self in imminent peril than sympathize with her. Anyway let's get on with the review!

I'll start with critique. With the note you put, it's hard to find any mistakes, but I do think this line:

would you recognize the girl who cared for you?

your sweet soul. would be so disappointed

dear

a beautiful piece.

Loving the formatting you chose for this -> to me speaks of the sort of hesitancy of the narrator for the cursor to still be visible. Heartbreaking conclusion. Thanks for posting!

n/a