the Liberty of another poem

by LadyBug

Published June 11, 2023

12+

In Coffee makes writing better

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
upinthearcher
Review
upinthearcher wrote a review Review · Jun 17, 2023

Hey!

If im being honest I first decided to read this because you said you were Dorothea, and evermore is in factory favourite album so I clearly had to read this.

I really liked it. The way the narrator want to destroy themselves because they don't want to be like that but at the same time getting even angrier at themselves because they think they are being way too dramatic. Personally, that was my favourite part. I loved this.

User avatar
Roxanne
Review
Roxanne wrote a review Review · Jun 14, 2023

Greetings @LadyBug,

I am here with a quick review with some shell-ightful insights...

This poem truly touches the heart. The heartbreak and sadness really come through the sentences. But also the feeling of anger and depression when reading the words "Nobody warned me the only pain comes from 100,000 letters you once meant...". The use of the huge amount of letters lets us know how deep the narrator's pain really goes.

The narrator's desire to destroy herself takes a drastic turn, the narrator feels that she is acting dramatically. But there is still a spark of longing that shares the same place in the narrator's heart of regret and anger.

A small nitpick on my part would actually be your use of words. I have the feeling that you choose your words very carefully and try to describe every single feeling with the perfect words, or maybe you just write as the feelings come to you. But maybe it would be better to write the beginning of the poem more simply, because it might be hard to understand. Pour your emotions into your writing and give all the descriptions you want, just even if you mean something figuratively, try to write it as precisely as possible so that readers can understand what you are trying to say.

But other than that, I would say that this a marvellous poem. The emotion in it is well portrayed, and it seems like the harsh reality, like a path of light turned into a path of darkness. It's evident that you poured your heart and soul into this poem, and it resonated with me on a profound level.

You really have a different lens through which you see life, and I can read all about it in the poem. So like Taylor Swift said, "If you're lucky enough to be different, don't ever change.

Me,

Red Riddle Rose
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User avatar
NadyaStatham
Review
NadyaStatham wrote a review Review · Jun 14, 2023

Hey there,

I'm here to leave you a review!
A review for a Swifty...

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First of all, I really like the fact that you used Taylor Swift as your inspiration. I mean that is the ultimate first reason I chose to review this beautiful poem. I think the message that this poem conveys is very well portrayed and you did an incredible job keeping the flow in there.

I do have question for ya,
I really want to know what your title represent. Does it represent a song Taylor wrote. I wonder.

I am glad I took my time to read all of this, because I think you have an rather powerful message conveyed in the poem. I like your words choice too, it is so nice and diligent. Awesome job!

I think the fact that you placed a picture instead of just text. And the way you organized your sentences is what makes your work unique. I think you did an fabulous job!

Keep up the amazing job! Have a nice day or night!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha

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Ps: Girl, I think you did a great job!



I communicate much better on paper than I do when I open my mouth.
— Aaron Sorkin