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just a draft to spite my boyfriend

by LadyBug

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47 Reviews

Points: 8459
Reviews: 47

Tue Apr 30, 2024 9:25 am
22Midnight wrote a review...

Hi it's 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: well judging from the title I mean it's a draft so not going to be anything serious probably, just an over view of something, looking forward to reading it that's for sure.

Side Note: Hope it's okay that I wrote this out in text so that i can quote it, also second thing if I interpret the genders of the writer and such wrong sorry in advance i have trouble with this specific issue.

goddamn i cant do much
but i can write poetry better than your ex.
the bar is low, she's there getting drunk to Down Low
no taste in art, but kafka is nothing to Flo Rida

as short as this is I can still tell how much anger is behind the writer, and how she sick of the guy's ex, hmm maybe he keeps mentioning his ex to his current girl friend to much and that's why the writer's getting upset because he hasn't fully let go of her. i got to say i do like the capitalization on Down Low and Flo Rida, and the separation of the word very cool.

two things that i'd like to point out first one might just be because i've never seen the word before and looked it up on the internet and it's not always accurate, but the word kafka is one that i haven't read before and I am unsure if this is a place or a store, in the sentence it is used with being compared to Florida I was under the impression when reading it that it might be a country or a place that i've just never herd of, hope this makes sense sorry for any confusion.

Second thing don't know if this was on purpose to give it a cool looking vibe which would be totally fine, but cant normally has a type of apostrophe which looks like this ' in between the n and t so it's spelt like this can't easily fixed error that commonly happens.

Overall:I really hope that this is a draft for some sort of short story or novel because i'd be interested to find out where this poem leads to, it was very well written. i do hope that your doing well, in case this came from something that you might want to talk about in a PM. <3

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya

LadyBug says...

Kafka is a poet :) and Flo Rida is an artist who makes club music. it's a weird reference but it makes more sense with that context

LadyBug says...

also i know how can't is spelled, if you look at all the other lines its a stylistic choice.

22Midnight says...

that make sense thanks for taking the time to read the review and explain my questions. :)

LadyBug says...

ofc! :)

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Reviews: 0

Sun Apr 21, 2024 8:26 am
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gkbrlla says...

i love the Flo Rida reference. the comparison between Kafka and Flo Rida is so telling and provides a pinpoint of comparison. the goal was to spite, and you sure did. will for sure read more of your work.

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240 Reviews

Points: 16328
Reviews: 240

Sat Apr 20, 2024 12:14 pm
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AkuRashomon wrote a review...

Hello, this is AkuRashomon! I miss reading @LadyBug 's poems. The font is really pretty by the way. Is this a photo or there's a font like this in YWS? Anyway, to the poem's review/comment by me.

goddamn I can't do much
but I can write poetry better than your ex.
the bar is low, she's there getting drunk to Down Low
no taste in art, but kafka is nothing to Flo Rida.

I like the fact that it is short and straight to the point. Meaning that you are really here to diss people off like a rapper but as elegant as a poet. My favorite lines are the second and the fourth ones. That is because of the comparison of you to his ex and Kafka to Flo Rida. Over all, I enjoyed this short masterpiece. @LadyBug, you writing's quality has never been finer.

- AkuRashomon

LadyBug says...

thank you :)

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26 Reviews

Points: 780
Reviews: 26

Fri Apr 19, 2024 5:08 pm
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KaavyaK says...

Nice work done by the author.

"but i can write poetry better than your ex."
Such a wonderful line, you have really nice poetry skills but I think you can try song writing someday.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
— William Shakespeare