daily task lists

by LadyBug

Published October 17, 2022

E - Everyone

In Coffee makes writing better

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Hannah
Review
Hannah wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2022

Hmm.

I really love the format and idea of this poem, but something is bothering me about the formatting of the sentences in between.

If I take them into one sentence it says
"My life has become the same routine: the overwhelming amount of consistency but somehow never manage to keep up with. Why am I too tired to do the bare minimum?"

They don't work together in that flow, but also don't work together with the tasks (ex. "But somehow never manage to keep up with make the beds"), so I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to put my hands on them.

They do give me the feelings, and I love each of the feelings you've chosen: routine, consistency, never manage, too tired. If I had to put my finger on one that seemed out of place and might be giving me this feeling, it would be the word consistency -- if you're not able to keep up, maybe there isn't consistency? Maybe an overwhelming need for consistency?

I hope these comments are making sense to you and I haven't just missed a big point!

If you have questions/comments about the review, please feel free to reply here or message me!

Nice work!

Hannah

User avatar
Hkumar
Comment
Hkumar commented Comment · Oct 21, 2022

Bruh

User avatar
LUNARGIRL
Review
LUNARGIRL wrote a review Review · Oct 17, 2022

Hey, hope you're doing well!
Just wanted to say that I love the unique formatting you used for your poem. It is very true that life functions around routines and cycles that can become overwhelming. It is interesting how some people can thrive when they have daily routines while others become exhausted, like the person in this poem. Overall, this was a very interesting poem to read and the simplicity and bluntness of it make it even better.

Well Done!
Carpe diem,
LunarGirl



Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman