Young Writers Society

Heyy, Good day to ya!

First impressions: Mmmmm, interesting interesting. I like this one. This is fascinating since I have not really seen many people talk about or try to express the sort of sadness that positive memories leave behind. Usually classified as nostalgia, but i think there's more to it. That sort of Childish wonder is lost when we humans age and the innocence is lost.

"like the emotionally-clad glitter in my hair, i shall never be fully rid of you."

Interesting simile, how seemingly impossible it is get rid of glitter from anywhere compared to memories. It's interesting because, while initially, both feel like they will last forever, eventually they disappear.

"i'm left to tame the remnants of my memory, washed down the drain, 

but somehow still ever-present."

While i am not certain of what memories you speak of, it is true that the remnants are fragments, we often forget the entire picture and remember only the best or worst parts depending on what kind of outlook the person has on life.

"you are nothing but a caricature of my childhood delusions, a mere whimsical evermore

and i will try to learn to live without you though you've never left."

Even though the previous line feels like it is going in the negative direction, as though the narrator [or you] wants to dismiss the memories as childish dreams, the fact that memories will always stick and the admission from the narrator shows how even if we try, we cannot dismiss what we experienced. Sometimes it is better to live in Childhood delusions, it really does bring a different perspective on life.

Thanks for reading and have great day!

Edit: I saw the description, a college rejected you on Christmas? Or was it something else? A bit confused on that

Well, this is true things can haunt a person for life or for a short amount of time, the permanent memories will never disappear and you will never be able to let them go, its like a bird a float without wings but your heart still remains flight in a cage of sorrow and grief depending on what cuts through the cage, you will never truly be free, words and actions can drag a person down, but you still try to stand.

Hey LadyBug!!

Okay i really enjoyed this. I love love love how you managed to fit so much emotion into such a small poem.

I think this poem is interesting because to everyone reading this, it'll be emotional but it'll have different context to some people. Just a very... kinda... multi purpose poem. (theres a better word for that but i couldn't think of it lol).

To me when i read this it makes me think of the childlike wonder we all feel or felt at christmas time and how at some point in our lives, its never the same.

I read it three times and each time i could almost paint a picture in my mind of that special feeling dying.

However I did feel like you could build off of this a bit. It's amazing but i think you could easily take it a little further. It feels like you kind of have to finish the poem in your mind a little. Which some people go for and if you did then, great!! But i think if there was a tad more depth it could be even better

Wonderful poem! It's still resonating with me.

Keep writing!!

I actually imagined this in a different context. I really liked how you have compared 'glitter' with 'memories' and how difficult it is to get rid of them. And this, I think, suits the title well. Because I felt it refers to the memory of someone at Christmastime.
It seems as if the narrator tries not to think about someone, who was with them during their childhood, but is not with them anymore. But is it a good memory or a bad one, I couldn't decipher. It seems as if thinking about them makes the narrator feel emotional and maybe even alone. But the narrator hopes to move on since there is nothing else that can be done.

Looking forward to reading your other poems!

Hi LadyBug!

This is gorgeous. I love it so much!

It's so short, but it gets the point across so well. The holiday feel to this really makes it hit even harder! I know it's about college, but I get lots of "right person, wrong time" vibes from this. Like falling in love with a friend, or a situationship that never got serious. I love how emotional this is! It feels so raw, which is great for shorter poems. The more emotion, the better!

I just wish there was a little bit more to this though. This is great, but it feels like something is missing. It feels more like one individual stanza than a completed poem! Whoever the narrator is speaking about lacks depth, which might be what is making the poem feel unfinished. I get that this is a personal topic though, and it works either way! Whatever works for you!

Also I don't mind the holiday theme, but I don't understand how it ties into the actual content. There's not much imagery happening, but all of the metaphors feel very loosely connected. I would love to see a more firm idea throughout! Stick with the "sad around Christmas" theme a bit more. I think that could've been expanded on.

Anyways, I'm sorry about the rejection! You are so bright! You got this! =D

— Solstice