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no soul scratches like a scorned woman or a starved pack of wolves

by LadyBug

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37 Reviews

Points: 2641
Reviews: 37

Fri Jun 07, 2024 1:36 am
KaeRae88 wrote a review...

Hey, Kaerae here! I feel like I don't have much to review on, because this poem is so good. However, let me start with the title. Great choice of words, it was definitely the reason I clicked on it in the first place. It grabbed my attention, but I stayed because of the way the poem was formatted/written. it is definitely unique to try and read it when the words aren't lined up, but looking at it after I finished reading, I sort of like how it flows now. It reminds me of a beautiful rose flying in the wind. I like how this is like a poem of growing up and adventure.

barefoot feet on a dying clover, all I wanted was a curse on my cottage.
This was definitely my favorite line, but I feel like you didn't have to say feet twice. Although it does add to the imagery if you leave it in, but
barefoot on the dying clover, all I wanted was a curse on my cottage
looks easier on the eyes. Like Orabella, I am also curious of what the bolded letters are for. They definitely draw my eyes to them, so if that's what your intent was, nice job.
just touch me in a language i reciprocate. and I begged until you the ivy binding me was ill
A strong ending to a beautiful poem! The imagery is just spot on! Overall, 10/10!

Keep Writing

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233 Reviews

Points: 25964
Reviews: 233

Thu Jun 06, 2024 5:30 am
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hello there! This is Orabella here with a short review! ^^

I have to read more poetry by you! From the two I've already read, I can tell you're amazing at it! I love the way you format your poetry; it's so unique and its so fun to look at. It makes me wonder why you have some letters capitalized? W in wisteria, p in peony, d in dove. Is there a special reason to it, or are they just capitalized just to be capitalized?

I really love these lines:

fields i rule in tongues of gold and coal

If there are places with tongues, as in language, of gold and coal, that means those are the most important things there? Gold and coal are valuable, so making someone the ruler where all they speak is gold and coal is a way of making someone even more important in their role, even when they already rule? That's such a cool way to emphasize rulers! (if that's what you were going for)

bring me coffee in bed, i'm aching like the / little girl i never met

I love how this brings the struggles of adulthood up without plainly saying "being an adult is hard" or something like that. A very good execution of show rather than tell! (Which is pretty much all of this poem) The way coffee drives adults with energy so much that they're so tired and need it to get out of bed, and that little last line is so sad. I wonder what it means, exactly. Being grown up and not meeting your past self, maybe the one that was happier.

no soul scratches like a scorned woman or a starved pack of wolves

And then of course we have the title, a marvelous line that I didn't quite understand the first time I read it. (And I probably still don't) To me, it means something similar to "sticks and stone can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" where being scorned by words or being attacked by a pack of wolves won't hurt your soul, but they still hurt. It's comparing a scorned woman to a starved pack of wolves, right? Where the scratches hurt almost equally.

and i begged until you the ivy binding me was ill

I really like this line, but I don't quite understand? It seems grammatically incorrect, but that may just be my tired brain. XD Though, it feels like the "you" shouldn't be there, or should be connected to something different, or maybe it needs commas somewhere? Even that still doesn't seem quite right... hmm...

Overall, I love this poem! At first glance this was very interesting to look at, but the meanings and the strong a beautiful lines pulled me in deeper. Some of these lines are seriously so good and I want to put them into the quote generator but I've never seen YWS poetry in there so... ???

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing! I love this poetry, and I hope to see more from you again! Please keep writing, and have a fantastic day/night!!

A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
— Paul Simon