Young Writers Society

This is such a good poem. It really vividly explains these feelings, and the parts that are crossed out are really cool cause you can read them both ways and it makes different interpretations of the poem. It's honestly really cool and i would love to read more like this. Also the parts where the words aren't in line,"never a window," "away mutilated secrets," "never held back" are very unique, and this might only make sense to me, but the way the words go downwards adds a sense of falling to those words, and it's really cool. It did take me a minute to figure out how to read them, but that may just be because i'm a little slow lol.

HEY I AM HERE FOR THE REVIEW!

even though I feel like I am not capable of reviewing this poem, but here's my 2 cents please forgive me if I make mistakes.

first, I feel the canceling of words is intentional and it should be read as a double meaning first with the cancelation word and then without ,
-like in the ( IMPOSSIBILITY and possibility ) = referring to the hanging garden of Babylon which was one of the seven wonder of the ancient world and is subjected to the speculation that it was impossible and never existed while other sources saying it did
I love that you are comparing your lover to the Babylon garden

FALLING THROUGHT AN UNLOVED DILAPIDATION OF HANGING IMPOSSIBILITY
= I am not sure why "through " is used , maybe I am interpreting it wrong but the unloved ruin of hanging garden is your lover so maybe you are using the falling through the Babylon Garden as falling for your lover and hanging onto the impossibility of the relationship

WHEN I AM LONELY/ALONE I SCREAM ....
=referring to as the future of the relation between you both which won't happen and also the Babylon garden which now has no future and is just a ruin and rubble

I WIPE AWAY THE ...
secrets as the memories of you both now you are removing them and the ruined secrets that the Babylon held.

I WILL BE YOUR WAR ...
the things that historian have said destroyed the Babylon structure is now you have compared it to you

I REDACTED YOU FOR ...
so you remove the history of Babylon as an revenge for you lover leaving you hanging on the hope of an impossible relationship.

WERE YOU EVEN REAL
as to the speculation our historian has of the Babylon existence. And as to you love lover being truthful about his intentions

LYING IN THE TRUTH ...
as to your lover lying and the truth of whether the ancient writers who mentioned the Babylon Garden which many historians have speculated were lying and never actually saw Babylon garden
.

sorry if I am wrong or if I read too much into it speaking b******* on the way ,but this is what I got from the poem,
I am not familiar of the style with which you wrote the poem so I can't comment on that but other than that I loved it your topic of choice was wow comparing it to Babylon Garden was wow the double meaning of lines referring to your over and hanging garden was very interesting.

I am not an avid poem reader so I don't know much technical stuff, but I LOVED IT

I WOULD LOVE TO MORE READ FROM YOU and if I was wrong about interpretation please do tell me what you meant I would definitely love to know what you had in mind while you wrote it.