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12+

yet the nostalgia fails to return me to my past

by yosh


t/w: death

i was cleaning my room today,
isn’t that so great?
you used to always bug me about that,
but now i do it every day

i found an old pair of mittens,
perhaps purchased many winters ago
i’m sure you bought it for me
it didn’t matter at the time

the mittens are so small
meant for a me of many years before
i never really needed it
the house was always so warm

it was placed in an old cookie box,
you always talked about reusing those
instead of wasting money
i make lots of money now

i got mad at you that day
“Why can’t you get me a normal present?”
“Why can’t you be a normal mom?”
but you still kept those mittens

i never meant to say that, to hurt you
i wish i could see you, to talk to you
and show you my hands
wrapped in these wonderful mittens

i tried those mittens on today
they’re not my size anymore
i wish you were here to buy another pair for me
after all, it’s a little chilly at your graveside


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Wed Jul 12, 2023 4:33 am
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hi. Orabella, here to cry. (Wait, sorry, I mean review.)

This is incredibly sad. More than that, really, it's...heart-wrenching. This is the scenario I never want to happen to me, and yet I worry about it all the time. Sometimes (and I think everyone has thought about this), I'll look back on the day and wish I hadn't said or did those things. Because in the morning, what if that's the last thing she was thinking about before she died?

The fact that I'm feeling this probably means you did a good job.

There a bit of a plot hole, however, or at least that's what it seems like to me. Let me know if I got something wrong?

i found an old pair of mittens,
perhaps purchased many winters ago
i’m sure you bought it for me
it didn’t matter at the time


You mention it didn't matter, but later you say you got mad that day. And the third line makes me think you're a bit uncertain if it truly is yours, though you assume it to belong to you.

Thanks for writing this! It's truly very touching, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Please keep writing!




yosh says...


heyyy tysm for the rev!!!! <3

You mention it didn't matter, but later you say you got mad that day. And the third line makes me think you're a bit uncertain if it truly is yours, though you assume it to belong to you.


for the fourth line, i should probably clarify that i meant that the narrator didn't want it, not that he was neutral about it.

but um

yeah i messed something up on the third line in that stanza lol

-yosh <3



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Sun Jul 09, 2023 12:33 pm
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loveissourgrapes wrote a review...



Hi there! This is loveissourgrapes and I am here to review/comment on your wonderful poem. I just love it and I wanted to review it but I am still on my phone and I need to use the PC but the words about my review for this poem kept appearing in my mind. So, we're here writing a review down on my silly small phone keyboard. I'm sorry if there are going to have errors on the way. Since the ending gets kind of dark, I think you should make this 12+.

i was cleaning my room today,
isn’t that so great?
you used to always bug me about that,
but now i do it every day


It's funny how it is a universal thing that everybody who had a mom has to experience them bugging you to clean your room every day. Kids never realize they will actually need that someday when their parents are gone. And I learnt that the hard way.

i found an old pair of mittens,
perhaps purchased many winters ago
i’m sure you bought it for me
it didn’t matter at the time


Mittens, a gift given from the mother. The narrator regrets that she/he didn't like those mittens that his/her mother gave. It's painful if you think about it and if this is based on experience, I am sorry. Condolences to your mother. If it is not, whoo, it doesn't seem fun to experience this.

the mittens are so small
meant for a me of many years before
i never really needed it
the house was always so warm


Those mitten were from years ago and now it doesn't fit the narrator. She/he thinks that she/he didn't need it because the house was warm enough.

it was placed in an old cookie box,
you always talked about reusing those
instead of wasting money
i make lots of money now


Mothers always tell you to reuse things to don't waste money. That's accurate for a description of a mother. No matter you make a lot of money, you should save a lot for the future.

i got mad at you that day
“Why can’t you get me a normal present?”
“Why can’t you be a normal mom?”
but you still kept those mittens


Children usually think that if they don't like a present that their mom gave them. They will think it is not normal. This stanza is very painful though. Instead of remembering good memories with his/her mom, the narrator thinks of the bad things that happened between them and the mom.

i never meant to say that, to hurt you
i wish i could see you, to talk to you
and show you my hands
wrapped in these wonderful mittens


The more your read the poem the more painful the poem gets. Each stanza just hits hard. Good job on that. Children say bad things to their parents and then regret it. They learn when something bad happens to said parent. Like the person in this poem, they regret what they did to their mom. But then, it was too late because their mom is gone.

i tried those mittens on today
they’re not my size anymore
i wish you were here to buy another pair for me
after all, it’s a little chilly at your graveside


This stanza gets dark so that's why I wanted to make you make the rating just a bit higher. But yes. Very, very sad. If this is you or anyone who has experience this, be strong.

Over all, the writing was great. But I get confused in some stanzas because there are no punctuations. Especially when it is read out loud. Keep it up! Have a good day/night!




yosh says...


tysm for the review<333

This stanza gets dark so that's why I wanted to make you make the rating just a bit higher.


makes sense

i think ill put a 12 then

-yosh



loveissourgrapes says...


You're welcome!



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Sun Jul 09, 2023 10:57 am
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alpacaboss wrote a review...



this poem broke my heart.
quite literally.

If this is based off your real life, I would like to offer my condolences first before I proceed with the review. Based off the poem, this is directed at the narrator's mom. My deepest condolences, we will all be here for you when you need us.

On to the review:

i was cleaning my room today,
isn’t that so great?
you used to always bug me about that,
but now i do it every day


I already had a hunch who that person in mind would be. After all, who else tells us to fix our room other than our moms? The contrast you put here shows the maturity the narrator attains after their loss.

i found an old pair of mittens,
perhaps purchased many winters ago
i’m sure you bought it for me
it didn’t matter at the time


When one has lost someone, everything will remind them of the person. There's a tinge of regret here when they say "it didn't matter at the time." It shows remorse for not having treasured the mittens.

the mittens are so small
meant for a me of many years before
i never really needed it
the house was always so warm


This is a cute nostalgic stanza and it makes me imagine a cute, chubby baby who's mittens fit their hands perfectly.

it was placed in an old cookie box,
you always talked about reusing those
instead of wasting money
i make lots of money now


That must have been a long time ago, if the narrator is now making money. Very long ago.

i got mad at you that day
“Why can’t you get me a normal present?”
“Why can’t you be a normal mom?”
but you still kept those mittens


Fights are part of adolescence, but our moms always care for us despite it. And we don't seem to deserve their love but that's what they do.

i never meant to say that, to hurt you
i wish i could see you, to talk to you
and show you my hands
wrapped in these wonderful mittens


Ouch, I don't have much words. Something about your writing tugs the heart and shatters it into pieces at the same time.

i tried those mittens on today
they’re not my size anymore
i wish you were here to buy another pair for me
after all, it’s a little chilly at your graveside


I have no words. This poem was like a punch in a gut and I felt like I have lost someone, too. And that is a spectacular talent to have as a writer.

Overall, it is a sorrowful poem that teaches us to treasure every moment we have with our loved ones for we will never know when Death will pull them away from our grasp.

This is alpacaboss, signing off.




yosh says...


tysm for the review <333333




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