Rabbity, the rabbit plodded her way through the gumdrop forest toward the happy city of Ticklesburg. Her house had become flooded, thus giving her the need for new furniture to replace the destroyed things. Upon arrival, the city looked sad and droopy, but once she got to the city square, her eyes widened.
Hugs galore, tickles and cuddles. Big fleecy friends and yummy orange muffins. Everything was colourful and happy. One store stood out from the rest: Giddy Gurdie's Furniture Wonderland. Rabbity almost died on the spot.
With a quick glance around, she hopped her way into the store. A massive array of lovely, happy, colourful furniture greeted her.
"There's too much to choose from, I'll never decide on what I want!" she squealed exasperatedly.
"I'll help ya decide," cheered Beavery the beaver, "what are ya lookin' for?"
"Oh, my house is flooded, so I need all new furniture: couches and tables and beds..."
"Oh my!" Beavery exclaimed, " Well, let's get started!"
Beavery and Rabbity pranced around for hours examining furniture, all shapes, sizes, and colours. They were only in isle three when Rabbity announced: "I believe I'm too tired to go around this entire shop... I may have to choose from this very isle!"
"Don't give up Rabbity, I promise we will find you your perfect furniture!"
"I do hope so."
Isle four awaited them, it's colours and shapes ready to be prodded and sat on. Rabbity looked at one couch and instantly fell in love. A pink retro 70's style leopard print suite, with cup holders.
"Eeek! I want this!" she said happily.
"Okay, time to look for a bed." Bevery grabbed Rabbity's hand, and led her to the next isle, to look for a perfect bed. There were big ones, small ones... even moving ones!
"I think I want a water bed..." Rabbity pressed.
"Then a water bed you'll get," Beavery informed.
The piles were endless, but a water bed there was not. Rabbity's hope was almost lost until she saw the most perfect bed she would ever see. A bright pink water bed, finished with green glitter. Beavery scowelled, questioning this psycho rabbit's taste.
"This one's perfect!" she smiled. Beavery just nodded, unsure of what he got himself into.
Now for a table. This pattern continued until Rabbity was ready to pay for her new leopard print lounge suite, fluro pink and green glitter water bed, jet black table with stars on it, blood red bookshelf, and a purple, yellow, and teal computer desk.
"None of this matches, so it'll cost more..." the lady at the counter, named Squirrely the Robin said.
"M'kay!" Rabbity squeaked. Beavery rolled his eyes, making Squirrely laugh.
"That'll be two hundred and ten thousand, four hundred and sixty seven dollars." Beavery burst into laughter as Rabbity pulled out the exact amount.
"Man I'm good at budgeting!" Rabbity said excitedly.
"Thank you for shopping at Giddy- this store, have a good evening!"
"Evening already! Time passes really fast!" Rabbity shouted. She somehow managed to carry her furniture in her Paris Hilton handbag all the way to her house. While unloading she sighed proudly, her new home looked stunning.
After having a long carrot shower, she sat on her new leopard print couch and flicked on the TV. The new anime super hero show was on.
"Ichigo, go get me my Kiko-watch, so I can defend the palace of Shwey Shwey Hi!" a young boy character said.
A random pattern appeared on screen activating Rabbity's epilepsy. She had a severe seizure and died. The end.
Lol, this was a fun story to write, dont take reviewing too seriously, just have a laugh and if its not funny then... oh well xP
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Haha! I loved the Paris Hilton handbag touch in there. XD But my favorite part was the title. Rainbows!
And Rabbity has awesome taste in furniture!
I LOVED IT! Though Spoink is right, ninjas and explosions and whatever else would have been wicked. But I like how you kept it positive until Rabbity died. If I wrote it though I probably would have ended it like this:
LOVE --ULTRAVIOLET
When Rabbity pressed the ON button on the remote, it triggered a bomb and the whole house blew up and Rabbity died. The sun was just dipping below the horizon and it looked so pretty as green glitter sprinkled down. THE END
If your stuff is that much sweet and cute then do PM me. I had a great time reading it.
As for em rushing the end, thats on purpose so it doesnt get too description-y. Will do on the editing front
And Shubhi, is this age appropriate or should I go a little more mature 
Forever greatful for the reviews,
Biffle
Hi Biffle1. Here I am at last. You told no nit-picks but hey those will improve your piece I guess.
Is isle the word or aisle? I am confused so let me know.
use some other word in its place. Its not looking appropriate. Maybe 'assured' would do.
This sentence needs impovisation. There can be two possible ways it can be written in:
1. The piles were endless. A water bed? It was hard to find.
2. The piles were endless but there wan not a single water bed.
I throughly loved your story and the imagination you had. A Carrot shower?
Well as for the seizure part you can take some more time to explain it. After all you described everything else so beautifully and at the end it seemed you were rushing. Where was the fire?
Nice story and a hilarious one. I really liked your work.
KEEP WRITING!!!!!
Nice! It was hilarious I love how this felt like a genuine children story.
No real critique here, but the line below should be in present tense.
So, my house is flooded. If it wasn't flooded anymore, he wouldn't need the stuff, right?
-Elinor
This was sooooooooooo cute and adorable. I totally loved this.
Dam Beavery straight!
Sorry snoink.... next time i spontaineously decide to go all happy, i will put some ninjas and pirates and buisness men dressed as pancakes and "TWO PIECES OF CAANDAAYYY"
Biffle! Where are all the carrots? There are definitely not enough carrots in here! And dams! Where are all the dams? Don't you dare censor yourself!
All in all, I was kind of disappointed... I wanted more ninjas, dressed up as carrots. And then Rabbity would use her kung fu laser eyes to destroy the ninjas and she would do a couple of backflips before getting hypnotized by Beavery, who would make her think she's the president of Happlyland so then she would go around making long speeches about stuff. Until, of course, she was impeached by eating too many peaches. And then she would be kicked out of office and Beavery would take over, except a kangaroo would knock him out in revenge for killing off his ninja squad years ago.
But oh well!
Haha!
It was hilarious!
I would love to go to that place, it seems to awesome! Hahaha, you did make me laugh all the way through great job!
^._.^ Rawr