Crazy is just a word, a judgemental one at that.
Random people who don't even know who you
Are, judge you over how you act, what you like. So over
Zealously, that it makes you wince when you think about it. All
You can do is stay strong, and fight. After all, you are crazy.
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Canary word: Present
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140,674 Literary Works • 673,589 Reviews
In full I enjoyed this poem, its short but sweet and effective!
*Liked*
Very, very much improved. Good job, Olli! This time you seemed to have sorted out better what you wanted to say and delivered. The rhythm is better. Your punctuation is very good. It doesn't seem as forced this time. I like how the ending part has a sort of sardonic feel to it; it made me smile.
This much improvement deserves a like. *likes.*
Awesome poem!
*EDITED*
I like how connected you are to this piece. I can feel your resentment in every word in the poem. The short structure actually works very well for me, it's like a quick punch without too much elaboration, and it really gets the message across.
Honestly, the first time I read it I didn't even notice the acrostic, which I guess is a good thing because it means it's seamless.
Nice Work!
Hi Olli.
Here I am, as requested.
This is a good idea, I think, doing an acrostic. But, you really need to think about what "crazy" means. What you have here is a start, but what I think of when I read the last two lines is more along the lines of sort of depression, which is not the same thing as being crazy.
The second two lines, "Random people who don't even know who you / Are, judge you over:" I like the idea you portray there, because that does happen to people with mental illness. So you seem to get what people think looking at a crazy person, but not as much what the crazy person feels, and it seems like you need to do more of the second here.
It's a good idea, though; don't get me wrong. Maybe fix up your rhythm and your sentence structure a little bit, and you could, if you want, research mental illnesses that people call "craziness" (i.e. paranoia and schizophrenia) and draw from that. It couldn't hurt.
One thing I think I'd have to tell you if you want to write about "crazy:" don't hold back. On anything. Make your readers question their own sanity at the end (more so than usual, anyway.)
Those are just my thoughts, though; take 'em or leave 'em. But I do want to see this fixed up.
Keep writing and take care!
Freyja
Nice! I like it Olli!
So awesome!
And totally you!
But what the meaning of this?
You need to at least put in a line on why you wrote this.
Because most people write about the sun or something but they explain why they like it and stuff...
So maybe you could put in a line about that.
Nice Job though!
xo
~Smexx