NOTE: If classified as a poem, only one "chorus" is ok.
VERSE ONE:
You're on the countryside
I'm in the city night
You're gazing at the stars
Why are we so far apart
I'm with the neon lights
On your side, the moon glows bright
Our love slowly dies
And then it fades away
CHORUS:
I'm on the streets, you're with the sky
I'm falling low, you're lifted high
But someplace among the shooting stars
A journey far from where we are
A light that heals the wounds and scars
The lock you put on your broken heart
I know there is a chance, can we restart?
BRIDGE:
Among the stars
Among the stars
We aren't too far
Among the stars
VERSE TWO:
You're in the sun, I'm in the rain
You're so free, and I'm going insane
Cars speed past me, left in the dust
While you enjoy the gentle wind gust
CHORUS:
I'm on the streets, you're with the sky
I'm falling low, you're lifted high
But someplace among the shooting stars
A journey far from where we are
A light that heals the wounds and scars
The lock you put on your broken heart
I know there is a chance, can we restart?
VERSE THREE:
Someplace, a new world with no hate
A new world with no shame
You can be a hero
No one will ever blame
Instead of an outcast
Driven into exile
Never something that would last
CHORUS:
I'm on the streets, you're with the sky
I'm falling low, you're lifted high
But someplace among the shooting stars
A journey far from where we are
A light that heals the wounds and scars
The lock you put on your broken heart
I know, I know, there is a chance, can we restart?
I know, I plead
Because somewhere among the shooting stars
A journey far from where we are
A future where we aren't apart
I know there is a chance, can we restart?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hey CATS, great work! unlike a lot of time when i see lyrics written out, I can clearly see the rhythm, and can imagine how each word fits in! you do very well with rhyming, as well as pacing and syllable counts. you also do a great job of painting out the scene! I feel the messages are very clear, without you needing to say them directly. All in all, great work! Keep writing!
Hey CATS, great work! unlike a lot of time when i see lyrics written out, I can clearly see the rhythm, and can imagine how each word fits in! you do very well with rhyming, as well as pacing and syllable counts. you also do a great job of painting out the scene! I feel the messages are very clear, without you needing to say them directly. All in all, great work! Keep writing!
Aw, I'm so glad to hear that you liked it! I did put effort into rhyming so that it would be more smooth. Thanks so much for dropping by and giving a wonderful review!
This is really pretty, I actually started thinking of a melody while reading it. It feels slow and sorrowful, with gentle envy or resentment. It's ethereal, beautifully written. It's like a letter, really - a question, an accusation, maybe - and an explanation. The reminder to them of the difference in your lives. "You're in the sun, I'm in the rain."
This is really pretty, I actually started thinking of a melody while reading it. It feels slow and sorrowful, with gentle envy or resentment. It's ethereal, beautifully written. It's like a letter, really - a question, an accusation, maybe - and an explanation. The reminder to them of the difference in your lives. "You're in the sun, I'm in the rain."
OMG thanks so much for your feedback!! I really appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed!