Mono no Aware

Hello! I thought I’d leave a review on this song

I’ll focus on the lyrics/structure/emotional arc rather than the music side! I don't play guitar, so I fear I can't offer good advice there.

First of all, I think this has such a melancholic feeling to it. The song feels like it’s about self-image, impermanence, and trying to accept yourself before you disappear into the idea of who you think you should be. I really like how the lyrics keep returning to mirrors and glass because everything feels temporary, which works really well with the phrase mono no aware.

mirror, mirror, on the wall

who's the fairest of them all?

I like that you open with something familiar, because it immediately tells the listener we’re dealing with beauty and self-perception. It’s a well-known phrase, so it feels a tiny bit expected, but I think that can work for a song because it gives the audience something recognizable to start with.

but darling, darling, hold your soul

there's things in this world that lack control

the buried secrets never told

the thoughts that flood when you're alone

I like the repetition of "darling, darling" a lot. It makes the song feel like it’s speaking gently either to someone else or to the self, kind of like a lullaby. "Hold your soul" is also a pretty phrase, and I feel it gives the sense of trying to keep yourself together.

One small thing: "there’s things in this world that lack control" sounds a little bit unnatural to me. I think the meaning is clear, but something like this might sound smoother:

there are things in this world you can’t control

or

there are things in this world beyond control

The second one feels a bit more poetic, while the first feels more conversational, so it depends what tone you want.

I fade between skies and glass

painting it gold and blue

trying to be something that lasts

mono no aware

I really love the chorus. "Skies and glass" is such a pretty phrase, and I like how it connects the outside world to reflection. "Painting it gold and blue" also gives the chorus a softer quality, and I think gold/blue work nicely together because they feel warm and sad at the same time. The phrase "trying to be something that lasts" is also really effective. Since "mono no aware" is about the beauty/sadness of impermanence, the idea of trying to last even though everything changes fits really well.

If I had one suggestion for the chorus, it would be to maybe make "mono no aware" feel more connected to the rest of the song. It’s a beautiful phrase, but because it’s in another language and appears as the centerpiece, I think the surrounding lyrics could hint more at temporary beauty, passing time, or things fading while still being beautiful. You already do this in the outro, but maybe one more image earlier could make it land!

but darling, darling, you are whole

there's times when you can lose control

the hidden secrets never told

the thoughts that flood through ash and smoke

I like the shift from "hold your soul" to "you are whole." That’s a really nice change, and it makes the second pre-chorus feel like it has grown from the first one instead of simply repeating it.

"Through ash and smoke" is interesting too. It brings in a more destructive image, like the narrator's thoughts are coming from something burned or ruined. I wonder if you could develop that image a little more elsewhere in the song because right now it appears suddenly and then disappears. That’s not necessarily bad, but it feels like it has more potential!

I used to fade between skies and glass

I used to paint it gold and blue

I tried to be something that lasts

mono no aware

I love that the final chorus changes from present tense to past tense. I wasn't expecting that, but I am pleasantly surprised. That is such a good choice! It makes the song feel like it has moved somewhere emotionally. The narrator isn’t necessarily "fixed," but there’s a sense of distance from the earlier pain. "I used to" gives the ending a sense of growth.

the sky forgot my name

and I did too...

This outro is so pretty and sad! "The sky forgot my name" is probably my favourite image in the whole song besides "I don’t look like myself today." It feels dreamy, lonely, and very fitting for mono no aware. I also like "and I did too..." because it brings the huge sky image back down into the self.

Overall, I think this is a really lovely song! The strongest parts for me are the mirror imagery, the chorus, the tense change in the final chorus, and the outro. I love how gentle the song feels even while dealing with insecurity and self-recognition. That's so hard to manage!

Please keep writing!

Pru