INTRO
The pain is unbearable
I’m feeling unstable
I’m struggling at the bottom of a pit
Oh, grant me mercy, save me, take me out of this
VERSES
I’m trying to help myself
Put my sins on the shelf
Lift me up into the sky
Cause I can’t seem to live my own life
CHORUS
Do I deserve all this PAIN?
Do I deserve all this HATE?
If I don’t then
Why am I getting betrayed?
But I’m gonna trust in you, like sun after rain
Cause you’re Golden Fire
POST CHORUS
Golden Fire
Golden Fire
Never burn out
Never tired
Golden Fire
Holy Fire from the heavens above
Landed on the disciples like a dove
BRIDGE
Struggling in the darkness
Trying to find the brightness
I’m climbing up the ladder to your light
Oh, leaving, leaving the darkness and evil behind
VERSES
I am trying to help myself
Put my sins on the shelf
Lift me up into the sky
Cause I can’t seem to live my own life
CHORUS
Do I deserve all this PAIN?
Do I deserve all this HATE?
If I don’t then
Why am I getting betrayed?
But I’m gonna trust in you, like sun after rain
Cause you’re Golden Fire
POST CHORUS
Golden Fire
Golden Fire
Never gonna burn out
Never tired
Golden Fire
Holy Fire from the heavens above
Landed on the disciples like a dove
BRIDGE
Trust in Christ
And He will save you from the dust
OUTRO
He will be there for you
With His Fire gold thekne
He is there for me
And I will finally
Be free.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hello Cats!
Okay, I can totally envision this as a Christian rock song, so yay! Still, I would add onto it a little more.
Still... I have to wonder... His golden shoes? It seems a little bit odd here, almost as if it's a joke, so I would probably either take it out or maybe... somehow integrate it better so it made sense? Because right now, I'm not sure if it's supposed to be funny, blasphemous, or weird, so you may want to smooth it out a bit.
As for Golden Fire, you might consider describing what you mean by that? I realize Christian rock songs don't have a ton of space for exposition! Still, if you could even do a line or two describing how God is like Golden Fire (maybe anchoring it more firmly to the Descent of the Holy Spirit, I guess?) I think it would be a much stronger Christian worship song.
Hope this helps!
Thank you! I was sighing in relief for all the tips and I%u2019m super grateful because I want it to sound like I%u2019m praising, not making fun of, because he is my Saviour. Honestly I loved all the suggestions for improvement, thanks so muchhhhh!
I love this Cats!! What a beautiful expression of faith and praise!
Thank you! I"m glad you enjoyed
OKay so hi bestieeee!!! I'm tired so I think this is just going to be an informal review because I need to go to bed soon but I need to post this poem so yeah XD
Okay so I am not that good at reviewing songs but I am going to give this a shot because why not?? tbh this is a really like almost sad song to me. I haven't listened to the audio yet so who knows. It does sound very good though and the intro was really good <3
okay now i just need one more review <3
i'm sorry that was so short and like did nothing for you ToT
Love,
Hop
Hi! Thanks SOOOO much for reviewing, I don't care if it is short. I love your compliments, and WHATTTTTTT WERE U AWAKE AT. 4am????????? Omgggg now I am even more grateful for a bestie like u <333333
WHATTT I WENT TO SLEEP AT 11:00 ToT but <3333
OH it said 4:00 am ToT
Hehehe
for me it says 10:42 pm
Ohhh wait now it says 10:42 pm...