INTRO
Life is not easy
I know that
Coming home weary
Knowing darkness where I sat
BRIDGE
I’m losing everything
Slowly but surely
Friends, love, writing
All faded so easily
PRE~CHORUS
They’re breaking me down
Smashing me to pieces
Until I finally drowned
The sunshine finally freezes
CHORUS
I’m shattered
I’m crushed
I’m broken like glass on the cold stone floor
I’m shattered
I’m smashed
They've broken me inside
The sharp edges of my life
My feelings a crimson tide
Carving sadness with a knife
POST~CHORUS
Oh
I'm shattered
I’m crushed
I’m broken like glass on the cold stone floor
I’m shattered
I’ve drowned
BRIDGE
The stress weighs down
Like a hundred pounds
A shattered crystal gown
The emotion where I’m bound
Oh
(Music)
I’m shattered
I’m crushed
I’m broken like glass on the coldest stone floor
VERSES
I'm the keeper of broken dreams
I'm the one who walks alone
I'm the feelings when you fall asleep
I'm the one who has once shone
BRIDGE
I am trying to harness
My own inner thoughts
Struggling in the darkness
Never has been brought
VERSE
To light
OUTRO
But maybe...
Just maybe...
I’ll find a way to shore.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Heyy there lyricist ;D,
this was a cute one! Just like @Tikaya suggested, this also rendered a rock song in my mind (an indie with with playful tunes!)
The song, I feel, is about coping with something or someone harsh, and hoping to see someway out of the stress someday. I like how the lines aren't very long and pretty compact. It is signature of that indie sound, once again XD! But, nonetheless, if a future listener of the imaginary song version of these lyrics, I'm sure s/he'll understand the depths you tried to convey using your pen.
My favorite line from your song is:
[quote=”CATSRULETHEWORLD387”]
I'm the keeper of broken dreams
I'm the one who walks alone
I'm the feelings when you fall asleep
I'm the one who has once shone
[/quote]
// Yeah, it's a whole verse lol! I think it's all very poetic and shit =D
And also the outro adds a lot of hopefulness and sentimentality to this piece. Just love it <3
If I grab some electric guitar now, I might as well vibe to this song =D. Keep up the good work!
Sorry, the code didn't really work :'(
You can try and edit it
You just can't edit these comments.
it%u2019s okay ofc!! you%u2019ll learn the codes eventually xD
I%u2019m so glad you liked it!! It really lightens up my day to see your review and feedback.
ooo dayym electric guitar??? i%u2019ve always wanted to play that it sounds so cool!
THANK YOUUU
ur welcome <3!
More poems… Ahh alright, I try my best! For the contest!
I appreciate that you separate the lyrics into bridge chorus etc. Makes it easier to keep track of some kinda melody in my head 😊
Ohhh I get chills from reading these lyrics. I can imagine some kinda rock song for it. Love the chorus!
It’s hard to pick out a favourite line because I can dig the entire thing. Great job! Now some has to turn this into an actual song! I wanna listen to it~
Thank u so muchhhh! I%u2019m glad u enjoyed!
Hello there!
I'll be reviewing your piece today
First of all the deep emotional layers of the burden faced everyday? You've depicted them beautifully. Your imagery is quite strong, like for instance, "My feelings a crimson tide", this line is a personal favourite.
Your emotional intellect here is quite honest and good, especially here "Carving sadness with a knife".
Overall this poem resonates quite well with me and i know life can be hard but as you pointed out in the end, there's always a light at the end of a dark, desolate cave. The end, though the end is poignant, it sprinkles a mild sense of hope to folks.
Your repetition through out your poem has quite an impact here, i've got a teeny tiny suggestion for u, tho ur work here is already gr8, well, after each repetition you could add reasons like, I'm shattered -but not gone. You could also try playing with line breaks.
I'm really proud of this piece you've written here. I hope you're doing okay.
Keep writing, looking forward to come across more of ur work.
Your friendly neighbourhood pirate
*wink*
Hello! It%u2019s so nice to meet a new friend around here! I wrote this from my heart and I%u2019m really glad you liked it and left a review. I did this on a phone but thanks for the suggestions; when I get on PC ur would be easier to edit
Thanks again for your wonderful review and I can%u2019t wait to hear more from you!
Love,
~CATS
ofc editing is your wish, this one is already a heartfelt piece. I find editing hard for me lol.
Same haha but I%u2019ll try my best!