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The Tales of the Argonauts: The Osorezu and the Hana (13-2)

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The argonauts returned to silence just as the wench returned with their drinks and rolls. Kai, visibly disturbed by the words that Tara had said. Her facade as leader was glass. It was instantly seen through and it was easily shattered.

Taking no second longer to contemplate these unsettling thoughts, Kai lifted her mug of ale and quickly downed in. When she put the mug down, she found the other argonauts to be staring at her in bewilderment. She grabbed up three rolls and stuffed them into her mouth one after the other. She’d soon be more drunk than a turtle-bear was large.

“Kai, don’t you think you might needtobreathe…?” Shun asked cautiously, also trying to be humourous-- an attempt which only succeeded in rubbing Kai the wrong way.

“Shuddup!” Kai growled, crumbs falling from her lips. “I just wanna get drunk. Leave me alone.”

“I’m not going to let you do that,” Pualani said, getting to her feet and taking her friend’s arm. Kai slapped the Yin away from her.

“You get back from me! I don’t want to have someone around me that keeps lying to me! You say you’re fine, but I know you’re not! You’re hallucinating most of the time. Are you eating mushrooms? I want to help you, but you won’t let me! You won’t tell me what’s wrong!” Kai was in a state of mind that couldn’t be broken. She was in so deep a sorrow, so bottomless a fear, that she couldn’t even think of the consequences of her actions. Pualani realized this and left for their room as well.

“Are you guys gonna leave me too?!” Kai screamed at Kenichi and Shun, spittle flying from her lips. There was a moment’s hesitation before Kenichi slowly rose to his feet. “Shun, will you bring my food to our room please?” he requested before leaving for some peace and quiet.

This left Kai and Shun quite alone. The instant that Kai realized this, her knees wobbled and she collapsed.

“Thank you…” she whispered breathlessly. “Thank you for staying with me.”

“It’s no problem,” Shun said, brows furrowed but a smile curving his lips gently. “Is that all really how you feel?”

“I’m… I’m ashamed to say it is.”

“You can rest assured that I’ll talk to Tara about her exploding. That was uncalled for. She should know better. You’re carrying a heavier burden than being tripped over, or leading a mare to the stables. You have the world resting on your guidance of us.” Shun’s chest rattled with a fluid filled sigh.

“Are you sick?” Kai asked, showing sympathy, though it was a struggle after her outburst.

“I think so. It was probably something from the forest, or maybe even my fight back at the academy.”

“I hope that you don’t fall too sick,” Kai said. “I’d wouldn’t be able to leave you behind in a town. I don’t think we’d be able to support you, and I certainly don’t think that you would be able to fight Hono with us.” A shaky sigh left her.

The wench returned with their food.

“Where did they go? Do they still want their food?” she asked.

“Yes, they do,” Kai replied. “Please just leave it on the table. We’ll take it to them when we’re finished.”

“Oh no, no. I’ll take it to them now. Which rooms are they staying in?” the wench asked, setting the collection of plates down on another empty table.

“Rooms seven and eight, on the second floor,” Shun answered. The wench nodded her head as she gathered Shun’s and Kai’s meals, both of which were meat laden. Their meals were easily distinguishable from the others, as they consisted mainly of potatoes, or breads, or fruit.

“Thank you,” Kai said to the wench as her meal was placed before her. Tears were beginning to debut at the corners of her eyes. Tensions were high, and Kai’s stress was as well. She simply couldn’t help but harbour tears like this.

“It’s alright Kai,” Shun whispered to her.

“I know, I know,” she whispered in reply. She lifted her fork in her trembling finger and began to pick at her lamb. Moments later, the wench returned with a mug of ale for her to work on while she served the rest of the party. Kai downed the drink again, but it took twice as long this time. She wouldn’t get into too much trouble at this rate.

“Are you feeling any better?” Shun asked. His plate was already half empty.

“Yes,” she belched, “very.” Shun laughed a hearty laugh deep from his belly. It was a mature laugh, that which you’d expect from a grown man. Only then did Kai truly notice how much Shun had grown. He wasn’t lanky anymore. He had more meat on his bones-- nay, muscle. He wasn’t a boy anymore. He was a man. It made Kai blush to think about how her friend had grown and she hadn’t.

“Young miss? Miss?” It was a low, gruff voice that snapped her from her thoughts. The voice belonged to one of the men that she’d observed drinking before. His was tall and his shoulders were broad. He looked as if he could crush a cindre block with his bare hands. “I heard yer party talkin’ ‘bout a Child of Light.”

“It’s an insane idea, isn’t it?” Kai laughed sadly, downing the last of her drink.

“Aye, it is… But that doesn’t mean it isn’t impossible. Ye know, they say there’s a man in the forest outside of Kaiyan Shun village. Say he’s a hermit. Say he’s stopped a rampant tiger spirit from destroying the town.”

Shun sat forward.

“Is this true?” he asked. The man nodded.

“I swear it. My wife, Aira, wouldn’t ever lie,” the man explained, nodding his dark head.

“Thank you,” Kai replied, delivering quite the sincere smile. They could simply be heading on a wild goose chase, but some direction was better than none. Even if this proved to be a fruitless venture, it might shed light on the right way.

The man returned to his drinking endeavours, as did the young Guide. The two remaining argonauts ate in peace for the remainder of the night. Kai even found herself pleasantly drunk. However, that proved difficult when Shun was attempting to get her into bed. She simply wouldn’t leave his side.

“Kai! You need to go to your room!” Shun hissed out. There was a room for the girls and one for the boys. “Please!”

“No, no, Shun, I can’t. They’ll be mad at me!” Kai cried out, a smidgen too loudly.

“Keep quiet! They aren’t mad. They’re asleep, but they will be mad if you wake them. Now come on: go to your room,” Shun begged, his voice pleading.

“I can’t Shun! I’m scared. Don’t make me go in with them.” Tears were streaming down her face. Her fear might have been irrational, but it was real. She was afraid of what Tara might say, or what this scene would do for her relationship with Pualani. It wasn’t logical to think that, especially when they were asleep, and there wouldn’t be any interactions. However, that gut fear was like a wall, keeping Kai from nearing the girls’ room. “Please, let me sleep with you, please,” she said at last.

There was a moment’s hesitation that crawled by in what seemed to be centuries for the young Guide.

“Fine, but you can’t cuddle me, Kai. I don’t care how drunk you are. If Tara were to find us, she’d slit your throat,” Shun explained, unlocking the door to the boys’ room. “I don’t understand why she’s so jealous of you, but I wouldn’t push your luck.”

Those words went in one of Kai’s ears and out the other. In her drunken stupour, those words had meant absolutely nothing for her.

Once inside of the room, the two Yang slipped into bed. Shun kept a sizeable distance between them. As the clamour of the hearty gathering below came to a close, they each slipped into a deep slumber so warm and inviting, it would be a miracle if they’d ever be willing to wake.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sun Nov 02, 2014 2:13 am

Hi Ulala!

It's me again, here to be fully caught up.

It was about time Kai's feelings were allowed to explode as well. I feel like she's been trying to hold it together inside her for too long, and although she hasn't been doing too well, I think sometimes everyone needs to explode. It's a shame that her friends had to experience the worst hand of it, especially after they just supported her through the Tara ordeal, but hopefully they will all make it up in the morning. I have a sneaking suspicion that Tara might find out about Kai and Shun sharing a bed though, and that will definitely not go down too well...

Kai lifted her mug of ale and quickly downed in.


I think you meant the end of the sentence to be like 'it in one.'

I wonder about the other people in this hotel and bar. Most days they aren't really deserted without it being some amazing occasion, and I feel like you need to expand your description of the setting here. Is this a big place or not? How many people are there? You should mention whether the people are staring or not after the shouting ordeal that happens with Tara and Kai. Is Shun embarrassed that so many people are seeing them as an unhappy travel group? Or are the people trying their best to look away and ignore what is happening?

Another thing you never mention is anyone besides the Argonauts. You did mention that there were other people who came with them, seeing as they are simply teenagers and will need protection. Don't cut these people off because they aren't main characters. Secondary characters also have their own stories to tell and are just as important to the story. I want to see more of them.

Speaking of the shouting at the bar, I wondered why that man came up to them and spoke. They had just been arguing rather loudly, and if I was in the bar I wouldn't want to go up to the party that had been causing the most trouble. People are more likely to try and avoid them. Even if that wasn't the case, I still wonder why he would show up. Maybe because he hopes that the goddess will smile down on him and bless him if he shares information? Whatever the reason is, let us know it. I want to see why this man even bothers to talk to them - strangers, after all - when they have been causing so much ruckus.

“Kai, don’t you think you might needtobreathe…?”


I don't know why you strung those words together, but you need the usual spaces in the words 'need to breathe'.

“You get back from me!


I know what you mean, but it sounds a bit odd like this. I would make it either 'back off' or 'get away from me.'

You’re hallucinating most of the time. Are you eating mushrooms? I want to help you, but you won’t let me! You won’t tell me what’s wrong!”


Kai is supposed to be raging! I don't think she would ask a question about mushrooms (what do they have to do with anything?) at this current moment. And because it doesn't have an exclamation, I feel like it is ruining the tone of her anger here. I would actually just cut that whole question in it and just leave all the exclamations to run after the other. That would make her anger sound more real, more severe and harsh.

This was a great chapter. Your writing is only getting better, and this has developed so much further than when I read the beginning. I can't wait to read more. Please post on my wall or update me somehow as you always do when you have another chapter posted!

Deanie x

The mushrooms thing was supposed to be an allusion to psychotropic mushrooms, but I suppose it was a long shot.

hey ulala!
I have not read your other chapters of this series...so I apologize. Bear with me.

I don't have much to say. I think you're a very talented writer and can see this in the long-run being a full-length novel. You know how to draw out things that need to be drawn out in detail. I love your wording and the way you organize sentences and thoughts.

I guess all I have to remind is certain spellings and grammar. Convention stuff. Not a lot specifically, but I was confused as to why you ran together the words 'needtobreathe'.

Good dialogue and everything. Cool character names too.

Yeah, this probably wasn't super helpful, but I did enjoy the read.

Good job and keep writing!

~iron.n

User avatar
KatGirl
Review
KatGirl wrote a review · Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:16 am

Okay. I have to admit; I was bored. It just isn't a type of writing style I'd usually read, honestly I have no idea why, though. Overall it was a great story, then again, it just isn't what I am interested in. To be honest with you, I don't even know what the heck an Argonaut is. And the names I don't seem very attached to, I always enjoy the modern names, but oh gosh.. If I see the names 'Edward And Bella' again I'll barf all over the place or flinch.
It seems like they have Asian originated names, is that correct? Yang doesn't seem like an American name to me, so I'm assuming it is.

“Fine, but you can’t cuddle me, Kai. I don’t care how drunk you are. If Tara were to find us, she’d slit your throat,” Shun explained, unlocking the door to the boys’ room. “I don’t understand why she’s so jealous of you, but I wouldn’t push your luck.”

That's kind of funny :D

“I heard yer party talkin’ ‘bout a Child of Light.”

Yeah, usually I don't like this type of writing because when elderly people usually say "talkin'" and "yer" and "yar" like a pirate.

Thank you for your effort, but your review wasn't really helpful. I understand that you haven't been reading this so far, but since you said you didn't enjoy this writing style, why did you even read it? You ranted about the names I chose for a moment, and told me what you liked and didn't like, but since you don't really like my style anyway and you haven't been following the book, nothing really helped me. :\



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