Out on the open road
I am finally free.
The day is young,
air fresh and crisp.
Quiet and peaceful,
only the hum of the engine
makes a sound.
I'm all alone
on this lost highway.
I burst and let go
on the open road.
Not a soul around,
just me and the car.
Life seems so clear,
in that rear view mirror,
not a worry on my mind.
So I drive
on this lost highway.
I hit the gas,
no brakes allowed.
I let the touch of leather
and the smell of pine
mesmorize me.
I say goodbye to yesterday
as the sun sets in the distance.
Seeing the world
on this lost highway
Can't remember where I've been
or where I'm going.
Still, the thrill is enough
to explore the unknown
with a smile upon my face.
Never wanting to go back
I drive into the distance.
With confidence I continue to move
on this lost highway.
With a half tank of gas
I know where to go.
watching the wild life pass by,
I see what I was looking for.
I wanted to get free
from life and stress
so I went to explore.
I finally found my way
on this lost highway.
(Inspired by the song Lost Highway by Bon Jovi, so if you see similarities, there you go.)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Fantastic, I completely loved this, really. It sucked me in right from the get-go (which of course means its muchas brilliante). I think you described it perfectly for your context (as in the road and jazz) and not one word was wasted (in my opinion).
Muchas fantastico.
=D
Hey, I enjoyed reading this! The poem really flows and i liked the repetition of "on this lost highway".
One tiny mistake though...
I believe the "w" needs to be capitalised.
Otherwise, good job!
That is a really cool poem, it sounds a lot like a song at times too. I LOVED IT!!
Cool! The poem does show passion for cars /driving and I can picture everything you say.
I love this part:
Life seems so clear,
in that rear view mirror
Good work...
Charlotte
I liked this I thought it was pretty good. It was a great idea although the whole Lost Highway thing made no sense to me.
This poem flowed well although a couple of things I would change:
I don't think you need the hum of the engine part. Just take it out.
I think you meant mesmorize here (; Easy mistake though x]
This line doesn't fit so good, reword it a bit (:
Anyway it was fantastic (:
You did a nice job with this poem. I think it really flows and paints a vivid picture.
Nice Job Tony,
Shotgun2983
aka Joe
Thanks man, and you responded quick. I'll take a look at the flow and see if I can tweek it.
~Mr. Pie
Hmmm
I liked this I think.
It flowed somewhat and the imagary is good. I like how you pump passion into some of the verses, so that the reader can feel it.
Good work