Faith

What is faith?
Is it what we see,
know
hear
feel
or believe?

Could it be,
everything you once thought was true,
is gone.
Nothing but a lie.

That's for you to decide.
To believe in what you someone else tells you,
or to just and believe yourself.

Comments & reviews · 10
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User avatar
Crysi
Review
Crysi wrote a review · Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:33 pm

I'd like to remind everyone to leave CONSTRUCTIVE comments. If you liked it, what did you like about it? If you didn't, why didn't you?

And please, no randomness about scribbling...

Anyway. This poem was just okay to me. Good message, but so overstated that I wasn't really impressed. It felt more like dialogue between two characters than a poem, and I guess it was just a little too simple and bland for me. It didn't really stick in my mind, you know?

Good attempt, but I think maybe it just didn't have enough depth to it.

I am scribbling all over your piece of poetry :twisted:

mwhahahahahahahahahahahahah ha ha BLLPT

No really i AM scribbling all over it. I liked it but it made my head hurt. :cry: owww........

User avatar
Fael57
Comment

I think it's pretty good...could end up in a book someday. Who knows!

Fael57

User avatar
Swires
Review
Swires wrote a review · Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:02 am

What is faith?
Is it what we see,
know,
hear,
feel,
or believe?


I like the one word lines here but I arnt sure if the commas are necessary, it may help the poem with a little absence of grammar.

Could it be,
everything you once thought was true,
is gone.
Nothing but a lie.


I arnt sure I like the last line here - it seems out of place.
That's for you do decide.
To believe in what you someone else tells you,
or,
to just and believe yourself.


I dislike "or" on its own. Its up to your artistic preference but I dont think it works as using "or" doesnt really create power in a poem because of its overuse (in my opinion).

Overall, well done I liked it.

User avatar
Shine
Comment

avoid the scribble thing.

User avatar
Shine
Review
Shine wrote a review · Sun Dec 31, 2006 8:47 am

Another of your short good poem! :P

I liked the way it started.

Just one small thing, that in this para:

That's for you do decide.
To believe in what you someone else tells you,
or,
to just and believe yourself


Thats for you do decide?Is it suppose to be to.I think thats just a misprint,u must have typed hurriedly.

Anyway welldone! :wink:

Random avatar
misspriss
Review

It was okay, and I agree Nexus...it doesn't seem to have anything to do with faith, however, here is my critique.

On the first verse, last line, you should have ended it with a question mark instead of a period. Because, remember, your asking a question.

What is faith?
Is it what we see,
know,
hear,
feel,
or believe.

See? You began with Is it. Therefore, a question. Hope I helped! :)

User avatar
piepiemann22
Comment

Thank you, that's a very good. That was what I was geting at.

User avatar
Nexus
Comment

I liked it, though i couldn't see a total connectedness with faith, i found it more to do with life, but perhaps some could say life is fait, or faith is life for that matter. Reguardless good poem.



You have light and peace inside you. If you let it out, you can change the world around you.
— Uncle Iroh, Avatar the Last Airbender