Young Writers Society

Thank you for your help. I have to edmit this isin't my best poem. I'll try again soon.

I'm confused as to what point you're trying to convey here. Oh, I know poetry doesn't have to have a point, per se, but it does need to have a general aim, a direction of flow--and this seems to just be a short collection of vague, passe reflections. The disappearance of shadows, the metaphorical "temperature" of the heart... these are so overdone in amateur poetry that even if they're conveyed in an original way, they make a connoiseur physically wince. As to your contrast between light and dark--well, that's one of the mainstays of poetry, and it creeps into every poet's work in some form or another. But couldn't you have found an interesting way to display it?

Light begins to shine through the dark

piepiemann22--


What you've posted here is junk. Throw it away. It isn't worth the effort to edit because there isn't anything here. You should couple it with actual poetry if you want it to have an effect on your reader. As it is, it reads like a message from a fortune cookie.

If you have better stuff, let's see it.


Best,
Brad

Another success!

I like this a ridiculous amount. It's so simple, yet it conveys so much.

Awesome