the Not Virgin Mary Mother Mary

by ellasnotebook

Published January 18, 2018

E - Everyone

In poetry

bitter teeth press against

my labyrinth covered fingers

sound waves roll from the tips

twanging and popping

a rhythm

a McCartney production

the Not Virgin Mary

Mother Mary

and I smile!

-

my mouth opens and I choke

to the tune of a song

the branches growing from my mouth

brittle.

flowery.

and I drink it up like a glass of

lemonade

the tune so  mesmerizing

I almost catch myself

falling in love with the sun again.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
crazystar
Review
crazystar wrote a review Review · Jan 23, 2018

Well if not this poem does deserves the title of"short and sweet" then none other shall.Amazing imagery referring to the teeth and labyrinth on the fingers.Being quite a passionate guitarist,I must say that with context of the poem,the poem could have been written on a comparatively melancholic note.Visualizing a person whose heart had been broken not a long ago,and the guitar and the plectrum with a collection of old country song could have provided a better context of reference to the magic of music.

However overall it,s a wonderfully written poem and look forward to reading more of your works.

User avatar
Radrook
Review
Radrook wrote a review Review · Jan 20, 2018

Thanks for sharing this poem about the joys of singing while playing the guitar. Brought back memories of how fascinated I was when I suddenly realized that I could make music just by pressing and strumming strings. Twas very magical moment. Later I became a member of a band and the pleasure was increased. The poem certainly does convey the fascination that being able to create music on an instrument is capable of producing.

As a guitarist, though I failed to get the imagery of teeth and a labyrinth on the fingers. Is this referring to how the strings dig into the fingers and the labyrinthine contortions that the fingers must make in order to create chords? Also, if the singing is pleasant and mesmerizing and makes the singer fall in love with the sun again, then why is the singer choking? So that choking statement sets up a discordant note. I would also change the title since it conveys an irreverent barb at the Catholic belief that Mary was eternally a virgin. That alone might turn many away from reading the poem and we certainly don't want that.



I drink from the Keg of Glory! Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in the land!
— Josh Lyman, The West Wing