Hello ellasnotebook! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!Give me your soul.
With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overallStrikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.
My interpretation:
You get hurt (the butcher) and others get hurt (the butchers), correct?
Overall:
I really loved this. I have a few suggestions:
1. Don't bolden "Hermes of Hades" and "death." Italicize instead.
2. I love the repetition of "and all at once." It was beautiful. Maybe, to emphasize the repetition, make something else a common theme?
3. Make your title "and all at once."
Keep up the great work! Loved it
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
Points: 15630
Reviews: 364
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