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Dearest Cassandra

by ellasnotebook


Dearest Cassandra,

Is it difficult yelling to the wind?

Holding all the answers,

Like ripe fruit in your palms,

And having them slowly rot away

Juice trickling down your skin.

-

Dearest Cassandra,

Is it difficult yelling to closed ears?

Who lives, who dies,

Like maggots birthed from decay,

Watching them slowly die in vain,

flies crawling up your arm.

-

With love,

the bugs in your brain.


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Points: 3566
Reviews: 223

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Sun Jan 28, 2018 1:27 pm
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Mathy wrote a review...



Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

It's hard for me to figure out what this means without getting too philosophical, but since you said it was based off of something else, I think I will just try to analyze what you wrote alone instead of trying to go in depth and find the meaning in a poem that is based off of a character from somewhere far away that I don't know about.

I like how you changed the wording from "dear" to "dearest" in the second stanza, like you were showing how one is becoming increasingly fond of this "Cassandra" as they are writing the letters. This poem feels like someone who has the answers to every question and every bit of knowledge in the universe, but she is able to tell no one. Like someone with no method of communication who is cut off by her own mental instability (the bugs). Truly, your work expressed this meaning perfectly through its wording and its imagery.

That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!

~ZeldaIsShiek




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Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:30 am
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neptune wrote a review...



Hello Ella! I’m here to review yet another one of your poems! Let’s get into it.

I see you used ‘Dearest Cassandra’ as the starting line in the two stanzas, for repetition and linking them together. Although I like that idea, traditional letters may only have ‘dear [name]’ once at the beginning. It might do fine just in the first stanza, seeing as you have questions at the beginning of the first two stanzas.

With that out of the way, I want to talk about the first stanza alone.

And having them slowly rot away
Juice trickling down your skin.

These two don’t seem to go together well. I don’t know. The imagery in the lines separetly is good but with the writing of them together it doesn’t make sense — fruit rotting and trickling juice? That doesn’t work in my mind. Not sure if that is just me. Perhaps replace one for the other?

As much as I like the questions in both stanzas, they don’t start the stanzas off in the strongest point. Don’t get me wrong, they make poems powerful most of the time, but these questions you have written don’t play a part in the rest of the stanza? Is it some curse in Greek mythology I don’t know about? Does it have to do with that? If it does, maybe clarify. I’m not the best at mythology, haha. Otherwise, if not, I’d maybe try finding other questions that are relevant to the overall poem and can be elaborated upon in the rest of the stanzas.

Let’s go on to your second stanza. As far as the poem goes, it’s my least favorite part. It ties the thread about bugs and insects but I didn’t get as strong of imagery compared to the first stanza. The juice metaphor really sold me and this stanza only described bugs crawling up an arm. What am I supposed to feel from that?

As for the last two lines (I’m not sure if I would call it a stanza, though it could be), it was okay. Nothing amazing — and my suggestion would be to rephrase the last line of the whole poem. It’s the ending and it should always end at a strong point.

the bugs in your brain.

It just seems blunt and unpoetic, really. Rephrasing it would enhance the whole poem and put a shock at the ending, leaving it on a powerful note.

Hopefully this review helped! Let me know if you have any questions! :D




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Fri Jan 12, 2018 7:38 pm
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jemming17 wrote a review...



Ello!
I like this poem a lot, because it's interesting.
To me this is simple, but it's also something that makes you want to read it, it's ...desirable.
Personally, I have never read the book, so I do not know what it is about.
From this though, I am guessing it is about a love story of some sort.
I'd also guess Cassandra is the admired love interest.

I just thought I'd put a little remark on here, it's excellent work!!





I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins.
— nogutsnoglory