Dear Friend,

Hello ellasnotebook! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

My interpretation:

Overall:

This review courtesy of

WAit no nevermind *walks away embarasassed.* @DemonGoddess

omg

I literally just wrote a poem with @Flumadiddle about broken china O.o

Hi! Izzy here for a review

*Grumbles cause she forgot her headphones at home and she has a hard time writing without music*

Anywho, I feel like this poem is about a friend who you care about, and they don't see themselves in a very good way, and you want to change that.

Orrrr, they see others in a bad way and you want them to change that.

Either way, this poem talks about brokenness and feeling broken.

This is very good and I am sorry if I butchered your meaning


Izzy

Hey there! Thought I'd leave a quick review...

First of all, I love your poem. The meaning behind it in particular, but also the way you wrote it into a well written and flowing poem. I don't know if this is meant for someone in particular, but it works really well as a message to many people.

Really, my only suggestions in this entire poem would be being mindful of repetition and also in the lines
"Your imperfections
As if they are something to be shunned."
I feel like "shunned" would be better as "ashamed of" or something similar, just because the person is "hiding" them. I feel like it makes more sense if they feel like it's something shameful, shunned feels off-putting (but that's just my take, and it doesn't make much of a difference).

Other than that, I wanted to point out that my favorite part of your poem was the last lines, about chipped cups still being able to hold tea. I look forward to reading more of your fine work! Keep writing!

-Katja

Thanks for sharing this poem that provides very valuable advice to help a friend find happiness. It effectively conveys the deep concern that the writer feels for the friend and the deep sincere desire to help him see himself in a different light.

I especially like the statement that cups that are chipped still hold tea. What the poem describes is a very common flaw among us humans. We tend to see faults in others but not in ourselves even when our faults are much more severe. Of course the letter expects the friend to acknowledge that painful fact.

Unfortunately, that would require him to have another self-image-a negative one of himself instead of one where he is pristine and everyone else is flawed. In short, the advice will likely be perceived as a threat to his ego. Actually, the letter seems to be a repetition of advice that the writer had provided before and the friend had rejected. A sort of a reminder that he or she will probably tag as unnecessary nagging. A common human reaction to criticism.

Suggestions:

I really wished I had more details concerning this flawed friend who is described as too critical of others. As a reader I wondered what he is criticizing that you consider unnecessary nit-picking. What exactly are his expectations of other people? What is his concept of perfection? Only by knowing these details can I take sides. Otherwise I am forced to remain neutral.

I found the four repetitions of the word “china” were distracting.
Perhaps finding synonyms would make at least two of those unnecessary?