In a forest a performance is held,
A projector, popcorn, and holding hands,
bound together by a Mariachi band.
Understand,
They won’t be remembered.
But they’ll never forget,
Slippery as sand.
-
God-forbid the inevitable doom,
As I sit in my room, a teenage poet,
A little crumbly inside, still won’t show it.
Know it,
Tombs are often too big for the bodies,
But I’ll grow into it still.
-
Roll film,
lovers,
Roll film.
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140,104 Literary Works • 673,009 Reviews
Radrook here to provide a review. Please note that if I offend in any way manner or form it was totally unintentional and I offer my apology beforehand. I only provide my opinion to help others become better writers and nothing else. Please note that the typos are due to my lazy eye that causes me to see two keyboards.
As has been previously and very accurately mentioned, this is a type of poem which might be open to several interpretations or not any at all and just manage to remain an engmatic expression which is the resasuit of stream-of-consciousness writing in which the author writes whatever ideas just happen to come to mind.
In such cases poetry resembles abstract art in which ideas are hnted at but not directly and clearly displayed and the viewer walks away pleased with the interplay of forms and textures but cannot place any particular meaning on exactly what it is that he has obseerved.
That is my experience with this poem.
Wow, so I absolutely love this. As pointed out by another commenter, "slippery as sand" creates a wonderful image of time running out, and the idea growing into a tomb is such a beautiful way to convey your message. The only mistake I noticed was in the line "Tombs are often to big for the bodies," "to" should be replaced with "too." That's really the only thing I can say about this other than I love it, so I guess that's the end of this review. Keep writing!
This is utterly amazing. "Slippery as sand", for me, evokes an image of an hourglass with the time running out; you growing into a tomb after your death is just such a metaphor. I love that something like this is so open to interpretation and could have many different perspectives. You are gifted.
It would be nice to here your perspective on it.
I love how you put the bars, and spaced them... Your wording was great. Great Job!!!!