Sitting there; head in hands,
She is drowning in her own tears.
What she thought was good,
Became one of her worst fears.
*
Thinking over the sequence of events,
She basically cries her heart out.
After hours and hours of sobbing,
She hardly gets what exactly she is crying about.
*
So many issues in her life,
A new problem to deal with everyday.
Obviously crying does her no good,
Life doesn't seem to be okay.
*
Friends try to help her,
But she finds trusting hard.
As one tries to approach her,
She quickly puts up her guard.
*
What she thinks about is,
What have I done wrong?
Her memory throws back many answers,
She doesn't have the courage to be strong.
*
She grows so fed up with everything,
She doesn't even want to live,
What she seems to forget is,
Hope is something everything around us can give.
*
She looks out at the trees,
How they seem not to mind the wind and rain.
Some even stand through thunderstorms,
She realizes she has been crying in vain.
*
Next she looks at insects,
Something so many humans seem to kill.
Standing through all difficulties,
They don't lose all the hope and will.
*
Looking out the window,
She sees a homeless boy.
He looks tired and weary,
But his smile seemed to spread joy.
*
With only three examples she learns her lesson,
She lives life as she should.
Overcomes all her problems and depression,
Sees life as an optimistic person would.
*
She helps others in need,
Stays strong so nothing can break her.
Learns that problems are only hurdles in the way,
And that a smile takes a person quite far.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
This is so cool. I loved it. It made me want to read more after each line. You need add some commas and quotation marks. You did good though!
Hello!
Very well written! I only have one little nitpick...
This is wonderful!
"What she thinks about it,
What have I done wrong?"
I think maybe the second line should be italicized, since it is her thoughts. Other than that, I thought this was really good! I especially like the ending-
"And that a smile takes a person quite far."
Great job on this! I look forward to reading more poems from you in the future!
~Snazzy
Stay Awesome
i found this poem very well structured and it was just going smoothly in a flow.
This seemed so like me lol. i would not say it was perfect piece of writing but yes with the minor changes in her poetry like i found there was a rhyming missing in her last stanza she could have come up with aan appropriate wording to give the best conclusion.