Growing Up

Clarity here to save the day and be an awesome superhero review.

So, this doesn't work as one long stanza. But that might just be YWS formatting; if it isn't, you'll want to look into separating it into separate stanzas. Here is how I would put it:

Spoiler

Growing up comes together with pain,
It hardly leaves you as what you describe as sane.

Everyone starts to wonder what your every step is,
Anger is usually your very first reaction to this.

You thought that everyone would respect your privacy more,
To receive the opposite of this really angers you to your core.

People start wondering if you like this boy or that one,
It seems as though they consider meddling fun.

People gossip about you as much as they please,
You can't help wondering when all this will finally cease.

Every reply you give is regarded as talking back,
Sometimes it seems its brains such people lack.

Exactly what good will all this do to us?
It it hopeless to ask them to stop making a fuss.

Secretly all this makes you happy a bit,
Because due to growing up your path to adulthood is lit.



Obviously you don't have to listen, but I think putting together your rhyming lines would work a lot better.

So now onto content! I'll review this in the rhyming lines. (Is this a rhyming couplet? I dunno, if you wanted it to be, only do that in your last lines. And it works best in a sonnet...) Anyways:

Growing up comes together with pain,
It hardly leaves you as what you describe as sane.

Okay, this is good. But, you see what I put in red? It seems like you're babbling and doesn't really flow with the rest of it. "you as what you" is a bit of a mouthful to say in between the rest of the line; and to be honest, I don't think you need it there.
Suggestion:
"Growing up comes together with pain,
it hardly leaves you as sane."
Now, this is less... but it would leave the reader thinking "as sane as what?" As sane as you used to be? This could make them think that something happened to cause them to lose sanity. You see where I'm coming from?

Everyone starts to wonder what your every step is,
Anger is usually your very first reaction to this.

I agree with @Omi1 on the awkwardness of the first line. However, it is only awkward because of the way you wrote it; not the content, the content is good. This will be a perfectly good stanza if you rearrange the words. Now, I see how this could be a problem because it would disrupt your rhyming scheme, but if you could arrange it in a way to keep them there? Or you could change what your rhyming words are. But my advice it to rearrange this stanza completely.

You thought that everyone would respect your privacy more,
To receive the opposite of this really angers you to your core.

I really like this stanza. However, you have used words that just fill us space and are not needed. Maybe this?:
"You thought everyone would respect your privacy more,
to receive the opposite really angers you to your core."
You see how you didn't actually need the other words?

People start wondering if you like this boy or that one,
It seems as though they consider meddling fun.

This is the stanza that does not rhyme and doesn't fit in with the rest of your poem. In my opinion, I would scrap this stanza completely because the poem flows a lot nicer without it. I know the poem is about growing up, but this isn't really necessary. Honestly, take it out and I think you'll improve the poem on the whole. But you don't have to; it's just my advice.

People gossip about you as much as they please,
You can't help wondering when all this will finally cease.

I actually really like this stanza. I don't think there is anything you could change. It flows nicely after the 3rd stanza if you were to get rid of the 4th. So, if you took out the 4th, this would pick up where 3rd left off without any missing gaps.

Every reply you give is regarded as talking back,
Sometimes it seems it's brains such people lack.

I think this is a very clever stanza, and it is my favourite one out of the whole poem. It describes how a teenager would often feel, when they're stuck between being treated as a kid and a young adult. You captured that feeling extremely well in this stanza. Well done. You only made on punctuational mistake here. Its should be it's because you are saying it is.

Exactly what good will all this do to us?
It it hopeless to ask them to stop making a fuss.

You put 'it it' I think you meant 'it is'. But that's just a typo, so no worries. I don't think there is anything else wrong with this stanza. It's good.

Secretly all this makes you happy a bit,
Because due to growing up your path to adulthood is lit.

This is a really good stanza, and a lovely way to end the poem. It is my second favourite stanza out of them all. It would be my first... but I think 'but' is too simple. But the 'lit' works really good with the last line... So I wouldn't change it. Lovely stanza, though.


I really enjoyed this poem, overall. You captured what it is like to grow up and finally get close to becoming an adult. Also, I noticed that if you take out the stanza I recommended, you have 7 stanzas, which is how many teenage years you have... see what I'm, getting at? A structure technique that would be quite nice to use.

I noticed that you put a capital letter at the start of every line, you don't need to. You should really only put a capital to start a new sentence, or to make a key word stand out. Unless you're using enjambment... a capital at the beginning of every line could be an asset.

Overall, this is a lovely poem. I enjoyed reading it and would happily do so again!

Well done and good luck with future writing, I hope I helped!

-Clarity.