Young Writers Society

Hi anshira! Griff, here for an extremely short review!

Wow. I really enjoyed this poem. It is written in a nice way and format, a conversational tone. I really liked the line,

Thus I knew I was playing with fire.

A well written poem, i must say.
It had the right ingredients:
A clear cut situation
Good rhymes
Nice flow .
Right from the start, you justified the title well with the lines:
I know I shouldn't have lied to you,

But I really didn't know what to do.
It went on nicely , especially the part:
I knew you hated nothing more than a liar,

Thus I knew I was playing with fire.
But then I expected more.... A few more that could actually justify the title regret but in the end you it seems as the matter has resolved.
Anyways....a good attempt.
Cheers

[ Edit ]

I' m a fan of poems with a rhyme scheme, especially ones that go back to the classic a-a-b-b pattern. This one was masterfully done, and I commend you for it! I noticed the speaker's only mistake was not setting his priorities straight, but you made his/her decision one as common as choosing whether to go to a work-related appointment or go on the date he/she had planned with his/her lover.

You know, if you were to touch up the lines a bit while conserving the rhyme scheme, it would easily look even prettier to me as a fixed-verse poem... but that's just my personal taste. You're free to do with your poetry as you like, of course! ^^ I just noticed you worded some lines so that they looked longer than I think they should. I'll leave that at your discretion, though. That's entirely your call.

The way I, as a reader, see it, I'd much rather get the message faster so my attention stays on the page longer. Even the smallest of changes can really help retain the reader's attention. Let me give you an example: "I shouldn't have acted so much like a dork," would become, "I shouldn't have acted like such a dork."

So, I didn't notice a single misspelling of any word in this piece! Congratulations! I'll just jump right to my conclusion, then. This is an excellently written piece, and it has a simple theme and a simple rhyme scheme that make it very easy to understand and enjoy for the reader! I look forward to reading more from you, and remember: Practice is the key! Pretty soon, you'll find that the only records you'll be breaking are the ones you set yourself!

I like this poem! It's simple, but deep.

However, there's something a little confusing about this poem. In the beginning, it's clear that the meaning is something like, "Lying will lead to regret.", but towards the end of the poem, it suddenly changes into "Don't put work before love." This provides confusion for the reader.

Another thing:

Wrong it was for an appointment to break a date,

Good, very good it sounds a lot like a song to me, something to be sung with a low guitar and maybe a piano. Nice rhyme scheme, though at times it is slightly hard to detect that is the only thing I see could be improved upon. Otherwise though I like it and give it a thumbs up.