Slyly, without warning,
cause suffocation.
Seem to choke us,
Like delicate tendrils,
of a persistent creeper.
*
Sweet- sickly sweet.
Tempt us more,
but burns its way,
down the throat,
oh-so-slowly.
*
We don't know,
of its great evils,
until like a poison,
it spreads in,
our very blood.
*
We are unaware.
So foolishly ignorant.
Don't know,
or don't care.
Either way- our loss.
*
Our present world,
the people here,
our society.
All crumbling- shattering,
into tiny pieces.
*
We all voice out.
Make others aware.
But do we ever,
stop to listen?
Hardly anyone does.
*
No one listens,
No one practices,
what they preach,
anymore.
Why?
*
All of us,
think of ourselves,
so above-it-all.
No one thinks they,
could be a victim.
*
Social evils:
Child Abuse, Rape,
Drug abuse, Violence,
Youth crime, War.
No one's safe anymore.
*
You think it's,
all so far.
Out of reach.
Truth is ,now,
you could be wrong.
*
Its real and happening,
to someone else now.
You could be next,
or your dear ones,
someone you love.
*
Our society needs to,
scream out,
as one voice.
Raise your voice,
listen and practice.
*
Together we all,
have got a chance.
A chance to,
stop all this,
once and for all.
*
It's our world,
our people,
our lives.
We are responsible,
for action.
*
Small actions make,
a big difference.
After all,
tiny drops of water,
make up a huge ocean.
*
If we don't do this,
Who will?
Who's to stop,
the next world war?
the next rape?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
This is a very strong poem and the tone is very persistent and questioning which really adds a strong emphasis to the message you are trying to convey. I really enjoy freeform poetry, and this one isn't an exception. I particularly likes the questioning at the end which really makes the responder think hard about the issue that you are trying to convey. I like how you portrayed this issue in a ruthlessly blunt manner, which is exactly how we can raise awareness of the issue. Well done!
Thanks.
This is a very strong poem and the tone is very persistent and questioning which really adds a strong emphasis to the message you are trying to convey. I really enjoy freeform poetry, and this one isn't an exception. I particularly likes the questioning at the end which really makes the responder think hard about the issue that you are trying to convey. I like how you portrayed this issue in a ruthlessly blunt manner, which is exactly how we can raise awareness of the issue. Well done!
Hi there!
This was a very powerful poem with an equally powerful message. I find your call to action to be very powerful and enticing. Telling people an uncomfortable truth and daring them to do something about it. I do think people need to be shown that all of these evils we hear about on the news are a lot closer than we believe them to be. I love that you use no euphemisms or sugar coating in writing this.
What I feel is that with a form of writing like poetry the way you structure your writing is a big factor in the over all feel of the poem. This is definitely just a nitpick or mine, but I feel that you should utilize the poetic structure. This could be done by creating an interesting rhyme scheme or stanza structure. But again, a little nitpick of mine. I also feel like this poem ended rather abruptly. Maybe just one more line or a small stanza might have ended it a lot more wholly. I just feel it would'e brought everything full circle.
But again a great message that needs to be shared with more people and you really do share it really well. I just feel that the poetic structure could be more utilized in this. Please keep writing! I will definitely enjoy reading more!
Thank you.