E - Everyone

Moonlight Saga: Lost Throne ~ Chapter 3.5 - Transformation

As morning broke on the dreary day, the rain had yet to let up. The thunderous noise of water droplets colliding with the leaves and branches of the trees continued to roar in Re'ana's ears. She groaned as she felt the cold hard stone jabbed unforgivably into her back making it ache in complaint of her sleeping arrangements. She had fallen to her side in her sleep sometime during the night. Her gaze fell on the empty space where Fang had been laying the night before. The fire had been reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes. "Insufferable guard didn't even bother putting a log on the fire to keep me warm," Re'ana muttered under her breath. "I swear I will make him pay for these undignified actions he had forced me to resort to."

Re'ana set a log onto the ashes, hoping that they would be hot enough to magically set the log aflame and warm her freezing hands. She shivered slightly and swore that she could see her own breath in the damp cave air. She let out a frustrated sigh and turned her gaze out into the forest. It seemed so peaceful. The prattle of the rain on the saturated and leaf covered ground. The rush water of a stream that sat somewhere out of sight. When her eyes focused on the sturdy shape of the large, black wolf that had guided her to this very cave, her body became stiff. Is he here to finish me off? she thought to herself. Maybe he is looking for payment for saving me from that baker yesterday? What will happen when he realizes that I don't have anything to give him? The possibilities of what the wolf would do to her swam in her mind like a pestering rat searching for morsels to eat. Digging up one horrific thought after another.

The longer that she sat there guessing at what the wolf was there to do to her, the longer that he sat there in the rain just staring at her. His bright emerald eyes seeming to gaze straight through the darkness of the cave directly into Re’ana’s frightened ones. The longer that they stared at one another, the calmer she became. If he wished to kill me, surely he would have done it by now, she thought. Maybe he is the friend that that guard was speaking of.

Swallowing, she slowly stood up and walked to the mouth of the cave, her eyes never leaving the drenched form of the wild canine before her. "You must be freezing out there," Re'ana called out over the rain. "Come inside where you can get dry."

The wolf didn't budge. It didn't even acknowledge that she had said anything to him.

"Look if you want to freeze out there then fine; but, I think you and I both know that Fang sent you here to keep an eye on me. You might as well be warm while you do it." She gave him an irritated glare and waited for some form of acknowledgment that he had heard her.

The rather large wolf’s ears perked up before it huffed and wandered toward the cave. He stopped just outside of cover, giving a few inquisitive sniffs before entering. His black coat was completely soaked and he gave a vigorous shake after he stepped in far enough. His paws gave no sound as he padded to the dwindling fire and plopped down to get warm and dry.

A smile lightly touched Re’ana’s lips as her company arrived. Still wary of the wolf’s intent, she took a seat on the opposite side of the fire pit. She couldn’t help but stare at the wolf’s sparkling green eyes, so unusual for its kind. “Unusual,” she said without realizing. The wolf looked at her in almost the same instance as she said it. A small yelp passed her lips as she saw the sudden movement of the wolf’s head. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I was just thinking how unusual your eyes are for a wolf.” He looked away with a huff before grabbing one of the stacked logs in his maw and throwing it on the fire. “For that matter, how unusual you are in general. You aren’t like other wolves. It’s almost like you can understand what I’m saying.”

The wolf turned his attention toward the cave entrance, as if saying that he was done talking with her. “At least you’re better company than that unintelligent guard.”

The wolf gave out a quiet growl.

“He might be your friend,” Re’ana snapped back, “but he is just a brutish, warmongering guard that does absolutely nothing, save for making my blood boil, in my opinion.”

The wolf made no indication that it was even listening any more. His eyes were intently focused on the forest outside the cave. A motionless sentry that was ever vigilant of danger. Re’ana looked over his midnight black coat in wonder. As it dried, not a single blemish could be found. The fur was one solid color with not even a hint of change. She began to imagine how soft it must feel. She had the sudden urge to touch it, run her hands through the wolf’s magnificent coat. Are you crazy?! The logical side of her mind cried; however, those thoughts went unheeded. Her eyes drifted down to his tail that was lazily splayed out on the ground. How long had she been battling this thought in her mind? An hour? Two? However long it had been, his fur was dry now and had a slight fluff to its appearance; instead of its slicked down look it had while wet.

Seemingly out of her control, her hand slowly started to journey from her lap to the tail just within reach. Her eyes would dart back and forth between her target - his tail - and the wolf’s eyes, which were still staring out the cave entrance. The closer her hand got, the louder the voice in her head told her to stop. A smile spread on her face as her fingertips were about to touch when she looked up and froze in place. The wolf’s careful glare now watched her from a single eye and a slight turn of his head. Re’ana remained perfectly still. A slight blush tainted her cheeks as she had been caught red handed. “I just...wanted to know how soft your fur was.” The wolf swept his tail away, pulling it close to his legs and out of her reach before returning to his watch. Re’ana sighed and pulled her hand back. Figures, she thought. I can’t make friends anywhere. She drew her knees to her chest and sighed.

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Casanova
Review

Heya, Swordsman! Casanova here to do a curtsy to get this out of the green room!

Anyway, I like the plot. You're keeping it up, and I really like that. Keep that going, and I feel like you could make something really decent out of this once you edit it.
The characters are staying strong, so that's a good thing as well.
Your dialogue, where you have it, anyway, is lacking. Refer to earlier reviews as to how to fix this.
Your paragraphs are getting a bit lengthy again, so I woould suggest paragraph breaking like I've said in earlier reviews. Both of those things would really be doing your work justice, and I can't wait to see the ending of this.

Anyway, that's all for now. Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Casanova

User avatar
felistia
Review

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D

Nit-picks

“He might be your friend,” Re’ana snapped back, “but he is just a brutish, warmongering guard that does absolutely nothing, save for making my blood boil, in my opinion.”
He saved your life!!!! Three times!!!!

The logical side of her mind cried;
Oh so she does have a logical side of her brain.
however, those thoughts went unheeded.
but doesn't listen to it.

. A smile spread on her face as her fingertips were about to touch when she looked up and froze in place. The wolf’s careful glare now watched her from a single eye and a slight turn of his head. Re’ana remained perfectly still. A slight blush tainted her cheeks as she had been caught red handed. “I just...wanted to know how soft your fur was.” The wolf swept his tail away, pulling it close to his legs and out of her reach before returning to his watch.
Okay so first off the wolf is one patient creature. He could snap off her head in a second. Two: what was Re'ana thinking. How old is this girl. You'd think that she'd have at least a bit of common sense.

Figures, she thought. I can’t make friends anywhere. She drew her knees to her chest and sighed.
And I wonder why. Don't go feeling sorry for your self. It's your fault no one likes you.


Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

This review courtesy of Image



A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky.
— Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson