Chapter 3
Transformation
When morning finally dawned over the tree line, Re’ana only felt like she had slept for an hour. The bright sun and a light blanket of dew was a horrible reminder to her that she was still out in the wilderness with Fang. Rolling over to ask what he had made her for breakfast. She was rendered silent when she saw that Fang was no longer in the place where he slept. In fact, Fang wasn’t anywhere in sight.
“Good for nothing guard,” Re’ana grumbled. “Guard!” Re’ana cupped her hands around her mouth as she screamed for Fang at the top of her lungs. She ground her teeth in frustration until Aria trotted up behind her. She quickly noticed the note pinned to the sack lain across Aria’s back:
I’m searching to see if it’s safe to return to the wall. I have friends watching over you while I’m gone. Do NOT leave the clearing. If you get hungry there is food in the sack. I will return by nightfall.
Fang
“Huh,” Re’ana said in surprise. “The barbarian can write too.” Re’ana opened the bag at the behest of her grumbling stomach. Pulling out the loaf of bread inside and the apple, she began to mumble to herself about how she shouldn’t be expected to make her own food and wished Leena was there at her every beck and call. She sat down in the shade of the trees and folded her arms across her chest. Even though she detested Fang, she hated being alone even more. “I know Fang sent you to watch over me.” Re’ana cried to the hidden vigils. “You can come out. I’m sure that you’re a lot better than that appalling Fang.” She waited a moment watching the forest in case anyone came to join her. After several minutes she screamed, “Fine! I’ll just sit here in silence!” She leaned herself against a tree in a dejected manner.
She began to daydream about a brave and gallant knight suddenly riding into the clearing and whisking her away to a castle. Where the servants treated her like the princess she was. Soft beds to sleep in and hot meals brought to her at her behest. Her day dream was a wonderful reprieve from the harsh reality; but, even this, would not last. Her day dream suddenly conjured up Fang as her guard, demanding that she sleep on the cold stone of the lowest dungeon and go without food. “Stupid guard!” she screamed. “Now he even invades my fantasies!? He could have at least left me with a book to read while I waited for him in return!” She picked up a nearby rock and flung it into the water, causing a small splash.
The day drug on and there was still no sign of Fang. Re’ana bit into the apple to appease her demanding stomach. In her boredom, she began rummaging through the debris of the cottage and gave out a joyful shriek when she saw the cover of a book beneath the beam that once held up the roof. She didn’t even care that her underdress was being smudged with soot and charcoal. She reached desperately for the book that her fingers just barely brushed. Pulling it little by little, she managed to retrieve the treasure from its burned prison. She hurried back to her tree and slowly opened the slightly charred cover. Reading the title she was less than enthused. “Legends and Lore. I guess it’s better than nothing.” She settled into the small crevasse of the tree and began to read about fair maidens outsmarting ugly ogres and witches pretending to be queens. The most curious story came in the form of a short poem right in the middle of the book:
Moon child, moon child, take care in where you rest your head,
Lest the creatures of the shadows fill you full of dread.
Moon child, moon child, take care in whom you trust,
A caring heart that is misplaced can lead you to the dust.
Moon child, moon child, take care in where you go,
For the places that the road takes you, may consume your soul.
Moon child, moon child, be fearful of the phantoms,
For when the sun and moon are one, the end of days has come.
Moon child, moon child, don’t let your spirit break,
Your life will be saved when the guardian awakes.
“That’s an odd poem,” Re’ana commented to herself. “It doesn’t even make sense.” She sighed as she closed the book and stared up at the sky. The sparse clouds streaked across the light blue sky as they lethargically made their way from one side of the clearing to the other. She wondered about her parents and if they were safe. If they were worrying about her like she was worrying about them. She closed her eyes once more as the gentle breeze swept through the clearing. Its soft caress calmed her fearful thoughts.
When the sun reached its peak in the sky, Re’ana had finished reading the last page of her book. She released an annoyed sigh as she rested her chin in her hand. “Where is that guard?” she asked herself. Her gaze fell onto Aria, who was currently grazing on the grass of the clearing. An idea began to corm in her mind. “I shouldn’t have to live like a commoner. I’m royalty and I deserve to be treated as such.” She promptly stood up and walked to Aria. Climbing up onto the equestrian’s back, Re’ana quietly gave a gentle nudge to Aria’s flanks with her heels making her start forward. Re’ana didn’t know which direction she was going, blaming that on Fang as well; but, she trusted that Aria knew where to go. The idea of returning to her castle dressed in only her under-gown didn’t thrill Re’ana. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice,” she sighed, looking down at her dirt and soot covered garment.
As an hour rolled by, Re’ana became increasingly irritable. “Do you even know where you’re going?” she asked Aria in an irritated tone. “This doesn’t even look like the way we came.” Re’ana couldn’t tell one way or another if it was the right direction; but, it seemed that she just needed something to complain about to break the peace and quiet of the forest. She huffed, as if that would affect Aria’s opinion or suddenly make the horse speak. Re’ana grumbled and mentally berated herself for actually wanting Fang’s company.
Aria suddenly stopped her steady pace and her ears began to flick and twist about. Re’ana stared at Aria confused before she also started to hear it too – a quiet drone of voices that could just barely be heard through the trees. A smile spread over face as she quickly spurred Aria into a gallop, heading in the direction of the voices. Finally! People! Someone other than that barbaric and uncouth Fang. People who will treat me like the lady of royalty I am! Aria broke through the foliage and out into the prairie lands. Re’ana slowed Aria to a gentle canter when she spied a village just a short distance away. A part of her was disappointed that she had not found her way to the wall, but the people here would tell her where to go once she told them who she was.
As she started down the dirt road that had been trampled out and ran through the middle of the village, Re’ana was greeted with a series of questioning stare too. Children stopped between the stone wall and thatch roof buildings that lined either side of the road to point and talk about the ‘lady from the woods.’ A few men that were feeding their horses elected to ignore the new-comer in the village. She stopped in what appeared to be a small market and slid from Aria’s back, giving a warm smile to a man selling loaves of freshly baked bread. She could feel her mouth salivating from the wonderful aroma of the loaves that came right out of the oven. She snatched one of the loaves off the table and was about to take a bite out of it when the baker grabbed her wrist roughly. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he bellowed, his round belly jiggling from his cry.
“Get your hands off me!” Re’ana demanded, pulling her arm away. “A mongrel like you should be grateful that a royal lady, such as myself, is eating your wares.”
“Royalty or not you still have to pay for it!” the baker said reaching for the bread.
“Get back commoner or I will have you imprisoned for your actions!” She quickly took a bite out of the bread and began walking away.
“We don’t take kindly to thieves; especially, ones that steal from right in front of us.”
“I am Princess Re’ana! I am royalty! Call your town guard! He will tell you!”
“We don’t have a town guard, girl. We deal with thieves on our own,” the baker said grabbing her again and roughly pushing her against the table. He pulled her arm out straight, letting the loaf of bread drop on the ground.
“Let me go! How dare you treat your princess in this…” Her words disappeared when she saw him pull out a very sharp dagger and he held it up over her wrist. “Wha…What are you doing?! Stop!”
“You steal. You lose your hand,” the baker growled.
“No...no stop! I’m your princess! I demand that you stop!” She cried out in panic as she watched him slowly raise the knife above his head.
Re’ana released a terrified scream when she saw the knife plummeting down to cut off her right hand and squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn’t have to witness the removal of her extremity. All at once, the baker was knocked away and the table that Re’ana was laying against flipped over, sending the remaining steaming loaves flying through the air and tumbling across the ground. A woman gave out a shriek and the small crowd that had gathered suddenly backed away. Rolling over to her backside and leaning against her hands, her eyes widened when her gaze fell on a huge black wolf that stood over the baker. It was nearly the size of a large man and covered in a thick black pelt that looked like it would shield the wolf from a storm of arrows. Its snout was pulled back in a vicious snarl that revealed its yellow tinted teeth as a growl rumbled from deep within its chest. One of its massive paws currently pinned the baker’s arm to prevent him from using the knife in his hand.
The men in the crowd, armed with pitchforks, hoes, and axes, began to slowly close in on the wolf. A few of them mentioned how much they could get for a pelt like the wolf’s. The animal snapped at the closing ring of men, causing the line to step back for a moment. The wolf slowly backed up until he was next to Re’ana and turned his bright green eyes to her. She let out an audible gulp as she stared into the animal’s eyes. The fear that took hold of her had her trembling in place. Those green eyes seemed to see right down into her soul. He suddenly nudged her roughly with his snout, as if telling her to stand up. She followed the silent command of the wolf and started being pushed toward Aria.
Re’ana was shocked at how intelligent the wolf seemed. Her mind wandered to the stories she had heard about the dire wolves of the old world that couldn’t be caught. It would look over its shoulder every few seconds to keep an eye on the villagers and then turn back to give her an insistent nudge. “Don’t be so pushy,” Re’ana hissed. The wolf replied with a snarl and a growl that rumbled deep in his chest, which quickly quieted Re’ana’s complaints.
Pulling herself onto Aria’s back, Re’ana took the reins and tried to spur Aria to run as far away from the wolf and village as possible. Aria began a slow walk back to the forest with the wolf leading them. Re’ana became increasingly frustrated that Aria was ignoring her comments and directions. She sighed and gave up trying to make Aria leave the wolf. She looked over her shoulder to the quickly disappearing village that was hidden behind the curtain of tree trunks and leaves.
A deep growl rumbled overhead causing all three to look up at the dark clouds that were sweeping across the sky. The wolf and Aria started off into a quickened pace that lead them deeper into the forest. Re’ana’s eyes were locked on the wolf that currently led them. She would occasionally pull the reins to try to get Aria to turn away from the wolf. Aria refused to listen to the pulling of the reins and continued in line with the wolf.
Re’ana crossed her arms and let out an irritated huff. “I hope you know what you’re doing. I knew I should have chosen that other horse,” Re’ana stated. When she felt the first drops of rain fall on her scalp she let out a grumbling groan. “I’m gonna get soaked because you won’t listen to me. Where is that guard?” The wolf stopped suddenly and turned to the horse and girl. Aria leaned her head down as if the wolf and horse were having a secret conversation. Without a sound the wolf bounded off into the woods, leaving Aria and Re’ana. “Where is he going?!” Re’ana muttered as Aria continued in the direction she had been walking.
The sun was starting to set, though that was difficult to see with the heavy rain clouds that blanketed the sky. Since the wolf left, Re’ana hadn’t stopped complaining. How it was starting to rain and Fang was still missing. Aria had given out several snorts as if to display her annoyance at the ceaseless stream of words. The gentle glow of a fire caught Re’ana’s attention. A small fire burned defiantly in the mouth of a gloomy cave. As the rain began to come down harder, pelting the horse and princess with droplets of water, Aria stopped outside ominous opening in the stone. “You must be joking,” Re’ana remarked. “What kind of princess sleeps in a dark cave? We are heading back to the clearing so that guard can build me a proper shelter.” She gave Aria’s flanks a nudge with her heels and the equestrian remained still. Re’ana began to drive her bare heels into Aria’s sides harder and harder as her frustration grew. She gave out a frustrated scream and dropped down to the dampening earth. She stormed into the cover of the cave and sat by the fire, brooding on her lack of control of the situation.
The heavens released their bounty of life giving rain onto the land. Lightning cracked across the sky and thunder boomed through the air. Despite the indignity of it, Re’ana was glad to be out of the rain. She pulled the book she had found from the thin waist band of her under-gown that held the middle of her clothing to her waist, and ran her fingers over the slightly singed cover. She didn’t hear the voices approaching over the rain until it was too late. “Well, well, well. Looky here, boys,” a gruff man said, making Re’ana jump. The man stood at the cave mouth, dressed in a tattered tunic and pants. A grin was spread over his unshaved features. The men behind him, still standing in the rain, quieted down when they saw her. “We go out for a few hours and a nice, young woman appears in our camp dressed in only her under garments. Must be our lucky day.”
“Hello, gentlemen,” Re’ana said sitting up a little straighter, as she was taught to do all her life in the presence of other people. “I am Princess Re’ana, and I will be resting here for the night. Thank you for you hospitality.”
“Princess, huh?” the man said stepping into the cave. “Well, ‘princess’, where is your escort?”
“The loathsome cur ran off sometime this morning.”
“Really? Well, maybe we can keep you company tonight. Or perhaps you can keep us company in exchange for your accommodations.”
Re’ana quickly caught on to the man’s suggestion and the way he gaze over her body in hunger. “I am not some harlot for you to take pleasure in. I am a princess. I should have you whipped for speaking to me in such a way.”
“Oh, you’re scary when you’re mad,” the man mocked. “You obviously don’t understand how the world really works. Inside your wall, you have everyone wait on you hand and foot. Out here, you will be repaying that service.” He lunged at her, grabbing her roughly by the arm. Re’ana screamed and started beating the book against his arm. “Looks like we got some fire in this one, boys! Let’s show her a good time!” he flung her toward the small group of men that were waiting anxiously outside in the pouring rain. Re’ana screamed and tried desperately to pull away from the grasping hands that were molesting and groping her body and tearing her clothes.
All around her she heard the excited calls and jeering laughter. Re’ana’s mind flew into a panic, unable to tell one man’s voice from another. Her only thought was the horrors that she was about to experience at the hands of the bandits that currently entrapped her. Suddenly, a man’s agonized scream joined Re’ana’s. One of the men near the back of the group stumbled away holding the bloody stump where his arm used to be. Everyone stared in shock as the man fell and bled out onto the saturated earth. Another cry went up, followed by a third, and the group quickly realized they were under attack. They fumbled for their weapons as three more fell down missing an arm, leg, or their head. Re’ana was released, and she quickly crawled away from the carnage and hid beneath Aria.
Spatters of blood mingled with the clear rain as the hidden assailant cut down one bandit after another. A flash of lightning illuminated the scene of confused and terrified bandits. Re’ana caught a glimpse of bright blonde hair intermingled with the bandits, and a part of her was relieved. The bandits would turn and slash wildly at the darkened figures, cutting down their own in a fear-induced frenzy. What started as a group of twenty men was reduced to four in a matter of moments as they unknowingly turned on one another.
Fang appeared from the shadows of the forest and stared down the remaining four bandits that were trembling in fear, like he was some sort of demon summoned from the bowels of hell. His curved single-edged blade in hand still stained with blood from those that he had slain. A scream drew Fang attention to the cave where the leader held Re’ana and pressed a dagger to her throat. “Drop the sword!” the man demanded.
“Guard! Execute this man for his threats and…” Re’ana commanded before a hand cut her off by squeezing her windpipe,.
“Shut up!” the man yelled. “Drop the sword or I’ll spill her blood all over this place!”
For a long moment no one moved. The bandits watched Fang to see what his next move was and Fang weighed his options. He slowly moved his sword to his left hand and held it out as he started to kneel down to set his weapon on the muddy ground. The sound of the heavy rain muffled the quiet rasp of metal as Fang slowly pulled his dagger from the small of his back. Setting the sword on the rain riddled ground, Fang began to slowly stand back up and Re’ana couldn’t believe he was giving up so easily. I knew he wasn’t a true guard, she thought. Fang rotated the dagger around so he held the blade in his calloused fingers. In a quick movement he flung the edge steel at the man’s head. The tempered metal embedded in the man’s forehead all the way to the narrow hilt. Re’ana looked to the man, whose arm went limp, and watched him drop to the earth and stare lifelessly at the cloud covered sky.
Fang turned his gaze back to the four bandits standing in a huddled group. He gave a slight motion of his head as a signal for the bandits to leave. They looked among each other and quickly made a run for escape; not giving Fang time to change his mind. Fang continued to watch them even after they disappeared out of sight. Retrieving his sword from the ground, Fang walked to Re’ana and looked at the thin scratch on her throat. “You could have killed me,” Re’ana spat out.
“You’re welcome, princess,” Fang said. He pulled the dagger from the man’s head and wiped it clean on the man’s tunic.
“Where were you?!” Re’ana screamed. “Since you ran off I have nearly had my hand cut off, been molested by these wretched bandits, and I’m starving!”
“If you had stayed at the cottage, like I told you, none of that would have happened,” Fang replied. “I went to scout a way to the wall. The T’vi have their minion’s watching all paths back to the wall. It would seem that they’re after you.” He walked into the cave and sat down by the fire, his soaked hair dripping droplets of water to the already drenched ground.
“Some guard you are!” Re’ana screamed in her tirade. “You just left and I was in danger!”
“And I came back!” Fang roared as he got to his feet. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Princess; but, you’re not in your castle anymore! There aren’t any servants at your beck and call! There aren’t comfy beds for you to lay our precious head on! This is the wild! Out here you either keep your eyes open or you end up dead! I am not here to wait on you hand and foot! I am not here to appease your every whim! I am here to keep you alive!”
“How dare you talk to me in such a fashion! I am your princess! I am of royal blood!”
“That means nothing out here! There are no royalty! There are no kings or peasants! And I am tired of your complaining and your ungratefulness! You think I’m such a bad guard?! Then go! See how well you do on your own out there! But I can promise you this; there are far worse things out there than me.” Fang sat by the fire and seethed in his anger.
Re’ana turned to walk out into the forest, but stopped at the cave entrance. As angry as she was at Fang, she knew that she couldn’t survive out in that forest alone. She would never find her way back to the wall with the winding fashion that her wolf guide had taken. She had to rely on Fang to keep her safe until she returned to the castle. She spun around and sat down across from Fang, refusing to look at him. “When we get back to the castle, I promise I will see you punished for your disrespect. You’ll be flogged a hundred times for every insolent word. I’ll see you run off from the castle with your tail between your legs as our knights bear down on you like…”
“Yeah, yeah. Threaten all you want,” Fang interrupted, throwing another log on the fire, “just don’t do it so loud. I need my beauty sleep, princess.” He stretched out on the ground and covered his eyes with his arm to block out the light of the fire.
Re’ana wrapped her arms around her knees as she stared into the fire. She sighed at her misfortune of having to once again sleep on the uncomfortable ground without so much as a pillow. She stewed in her frustration of her current situation. She idly wondered if she was being picked on by whatever gods might be bored with humanity’s simple existence. Her eyes drifted toward the sleeping Fang, whose chest was slowly rising and falling in time with a gentle snore. She may have had a great deal of disdain for him and the way that he addressed her, but he had saved her life twice in as many days.
She sighed as she thought about how long the two of them would be forced to live like barbarians in the wild. She didn’t know if she could handle this more than the night. Tomorrow she would demand that he take her back to the wall so that she would never have to see him again.
Her gaze returned to the fire and it slowly hypnotized her with its flickering dance. The sound of the rain was relaxing and made her forget about the cave that she was sitting in. She had always enjoyed the sound of the rain. Her eyes slowly drooped lower and lower until they finally closed and she fell asleep, her head against her knees.
As morning broke on the dreary day, the rain had yet to let up. The thunderous noise of water droplets colliding with the leaves and branches of the trees continued to roar in Re'ana's ears. She groaned as she felt the cold hard stone jabbed unforgivably into her back making it ache in complaint of her sleeping arrangements. She had fallen to her side in her sleep sometime during the night. Her gaze fell on the empty space where Fang had been laying the night before. The fire had been reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes. "Insufferable guard didn't even bother putting a log on the fire to keep me warm," Re'ana muttered under her breath. "I swear I will make him pay for these undignified actions he had forced me to resort to."
Re'ana set a log onto the ashes, hoping that they would be hot enough to magically set the log aflame and warm her freezing hands. She shivered slightly and swore that she could see her own breath in the damp cave air. She let out a frustrated sigh and turned her gaze out into the forest. It seemed so peaceful. The prattle of the rain on the saturated and leaf covered ground. The rush water of a stream that sat somewhere out of sight. When her eyes focused on the sturdy shape of the large, black wolf that had guided her to this very cave, her body became stiff. Is he here to finish me off? she thought to herself. Maybe he is looking for payment for saving me from that baker yesterday? What will happen when he realizes that I don't have anything to give him? The possibilities of what the wolf would do to her swam in her mind like a pestering rat searching for morsels to eat. Digging up one horrific thought after another.
The longer that she sat there guessing at what the wolf was there to do to her, the longer that he sat there in the rain just staring at her. His bright emerald eyes seeming to gaze straight through the darkness of the cave directly into Re’ana’s frightened ones. The longer that they stared at one another, the calmer she became. If he wished to kill me, surely he would have done it by now, she thought. Maybe he is the friend that that guard was speaking of.
Swallowing, she slowly stood up and walked to the mouth of the cave, her eyes never leaving the drenched form of the wild canine before her. "You must be freezing out there," Re'ana called out over the rain. "Come inside where you can get dry."
The wolf didn't budge. It didn't even acknowledge that she had said anything to him.
"Look if you want to freeze out there then fine; but, I think you and I both know that Fang sent you here to keep an eye on me. You might as well be warm while you do it." She gave him an irritated glare and waited for some form of acknowledgment that he had heard her.
The rather large wolf’s ears perked up before it huffed and wandered toward the cave. He stopped just outside of cover, giving a few inquisitive sniffs before entering. His black coat was completely soaked and he gave a vigorous shake after he stepped in far enough. His paws gave no sound as he padded to the dwindling fire and plopped down to get warm and dry.
A smile lightly touched Re’ana’s lips as her company arrived. Still wary of the wolf’s intent, she took a seat on the opposite side of the fire pit. She couldn’t help but stare at the wolf’s sparkling green eyes, so unusual for its kind. “Unusual,” she said without realizing. The wolf looked at her in almost the same instance as she said it. A small yelp passed her lips as she saw the sudden movement of the wolf’s head. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I was just thinking how unusual your eyes are for a wolf.” He looked away with a huff before grabbing one of the stacked logs in his maw and throwing it on the fire. “For that matter, how unusual you are in general. You aren’t like other wolves. It’s almost like you can understand what I’m saying.”
The wolf turned his attention toward the cave entrance, as if saying that he was done talking with her. “At least you’re better company than that unintelligent guard.”
The wolf gave out a quiet growl.
“He might be your friend,” Re’ana snapped back, “but he is just a brutish, warmongering guard that does absolutely nothing, save for making my blood boil, in my opinion.”
The wolf made no indication that it was even listening any more. His eyes were intently focused on the forest outside the cave. A motionless sentry that was ever vigilant of danger. Re’ana looked over his midnight black coat in wonder. As it dried, not a single blemish could be found. The fur was one solid color with not even a hint of change. She began to imagine how soft it must feel. She had the sudden urge to touch it, run her hands through the wolf’s magnificent coat. Are you crazy?! The logical side of her mind cried; however, those thoughts went unheeded. Her eyes drifted down to his tail that was lazily splayed out on the ground. How long had she been battling this thought in her mind? An hour? Two? However long it had been, his fur was dry now and had a slight fluff to its appearance; instead of its slicked down look it had while wet.
Seemingly out of her control, her hand slowly started to journey from her lap to the tail just within reach. Her eyes would dart back and forth between her target - his tail - and the wolf’s eyes, which were still staring out the cave entrance. The closer her hand got, the louder the voice in her head told her to stop. A smile spread on her face as her fingertips were about to touch when she looked up and froze in place. The wolf’s careful glare now watched her from a single eye and a slight turn of his head. Re’ana remained perfectly still. A slight blush tainted her cheeks as she had been caught red handed. “I just...wanted to know how soft your fur was.” The wolf swept his tail away, pulling it close to his legs and out of her reach before returning to his watch. Re’ana sighed and pulled her hand back. Figures, she thought. I can’t make friends anywhere. She drew her knees to her chest and sighed.
Re’ana, unknowingly, dozed off. When she awoke the rain had stopped and she could hear a few birds whistling in the forest. The wolf hadn’t moved and still had his tail pulled close to him. He sat completely still, almost like a statue, in his vigil. Re’ana’s stomach gave out a grumbling complaint, causing her to try to cover the sound with her arms. The wolf turned toward her, signaling that her attempts to hide the source of the noise had failed. She tried to pretend that the sound hadn’t come from her, as it was unladylike. But the wolf’s knowing gaze bore into her and she dropped her head in defeat. “I’m hungry,” she muttered.
The wolf moved to his feet, stretching his back as he did so, and looked to her expectantly. He gave out a noise somewhere between a bark and a growl that instantly had Re’ana on her feet. He began walking out of the cave and then stopped, looking back at her. Catching on to the wordless command, Re’ana began following the wolf into the forest, the soft earth conforming to her foot as she took each step. The wolf would pause periodically and sniff the air before continuing on. He finally stopped at a large bush nestled between two strong oaks. The thin limbs dotted with blue and green berries.
Re’ana rushed over to the fruit bearing plant, her mouth already salivating at the thought of food. She plucked several of the green berries. They reminded her of the grapes she would eat at the castle, and just as she was about to put a grape-like berry into her mouth the wolf swat the back of her hand with his massive paw. Re’ana turned to the wolf with fury in her eyes. “Are you wanting me to starve?! What’s your problem?!” she cried.
The wolf calmly took a branch from the bush in his teeth and pulled it aside. Hidden within the leaves was a small field mouse lying on the ground. Its mouth and tail, once a cute shade of pink, were a dark purple color and a half-eaten green berry still clutched in its lifeless paws.
Re’ana quickly understood that the wolf was saving her life. She looked at the handful of poisonous berries in her hand and flung them from her like she had been holding a snake. She swallowed reflexively and looked to the wolf. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “What about the blue ones? Are they poisonous too?” Her voice was almost pleading in her question. The wolf plucked a blue berry off of the bush and chewed it up to answer her. Re’ana smiled grabbed a handful of the edible berries. They looked a lot like raspberries tinted blue to her. But when she bit into it, somewhat hesitantly, it was as sweet as honey. She grabbed a quick handful and shoved them into her mouth to satisfy her nagging hunger. Grabbing her skirt halfway to the hem, she lifted it to create a make-shift basket and began filling it with the blue fruit. Her muddy feet and calves revealed in a manner that Re’ana would never do if she were in civilization.
The wolf remained beside her, snatching berries off of the branches and scarfing them down. She felt that urge to run her fingers through his black fur again and slowly reached out to him again. He turned to her, making her freeze once more, and stepped out of her reach. Re’ana concentrated on collecting berries and when her skirt-basket was full, she waited for the wolf to lead her back to the cave. The wolf noted her waiting for him and started the trek back without stopping. She sat by the fire, putting a few logs on the fire to keep it from dying. The wolf stayed away from her, ensuring that she couldn’t try to pet him again.
She jumped and let out a shriek as the sky lit up and thunder rolled over the forest, signaling another torrent of rain. She huddled close to the fire trying to ignore the rumbles and crashed outside. “I hate thunder storms,” she said softly, trying to break the quiet between thunder claps. “My dad gave me this blanket when I was really little. It was so soft and big that I could wrap myself up in it and feel so safe.” She winced when another flash of lightning illuminated the cave. “The blanket is small now, but I would pull it out when I was afraid. The soft feeling always made me feel better. I wish that I had it now.” Tears began welling up in her eyes as she had never felt so alone and helpless.
Re’ana was startled when the wolf suddenly lay down next to her. Its eyes were still locked outside the cave, but one ear was now swiveled back to hear her. Re’ana wasn’t sure what to do. The wolf had spent most of the day avoiding her and now it was practically lying against her. Her hand hesitantly moved closer to the wolf. She paused just as her fingertips brushed the longest strands of fur. She looked to the wolf’s eyes again, making sure that he wasn’t glaring at her in warning again.
The instant her hand sank into his thick pelt she felt the overwhelming sense of peace wash over her. She tangled her fingers into the locks of his fur. It was just as soft as she had imagined it would be. It reminded her of the blanket that she had spent so many night tucked into to hide from the nightmares and thunder. She looked at the wolf’s eyes; unsure if she should follow the compulsion she was feeling, but unable to stop herself. The wolf’s body tensed from surprise as he felt Re’ana nuzzle into his side. The soft fur on her cheek was like a piece of luxury she had been denied the past few days. The wolf’s coat smelled of fresh pine and cool mountain streams. Despite trying to fight it, Re’ana fell asleep, exhausted from her restless nights.
The wolf looked over his shoulder to Re’ana’s sleeping face as she reflexively gripped at his black fur, afraid it would be snatched away. With a quiet huff, almost like a chuckle, the wolf lowered his head to his paws and closed his eyes to rest, while he could.
The wolf awoke with a start as a clap of thunder boomed echoed through the cave. He let out a great yawn, giving a small whine at the end. Re’ana was still sound asleep nuzzling into his side and hadn’t stirred from where she slept. The rain had stopped, but the lighting still clashed giving a periodic flash of light. Something had woken him up; but, he didn’t know what.
A pain shot through his left leg and his eyes widened in shock. He wriggled out from beneath Re’ana, leaving a few strands of fur between her clenched fingers. The wolf hobbled away, his leg seemingly asleep.
Re’ana awoke from the wolf’s sudden departure. She watched him limping away at a hurried pace. “Where are you going?” she called out through the howling wind. She let out a shriek as a flash of lightning and clap of thunder cut off what she was going to say next. “Don’t leave me alone!” she cried in desperation and scrambled after him, barely managing to keep up.
The wolf desperately tried to get away from Re’ana. The faintly glimmering light of the sun, already barely visible through the dreary cloud cover, was quickly disappearing into the shadows of night. His hobbling form was slowed as he drove deeper into the forest and Re’ana was slowly beginning to gain ground on him. The wolf let out a pained yelp as his right hind leg locked out straight, forcing his body to collapse. He gave out a whimpering whine until the joint in his hip gave a painful crack. His fore legs still pulled fervently at the earth beneath him in a desperate attempt to escape.
Re’ana witnessed the wolf’s collapse to the earth and heard his pain-filled cries. She wanted to help; but, she stood there in horror as she watched the wolf’s body change in front of her. His thin legs thickened and the toes on his fore-paws lengthened, creating new joints in a series of cracks. His spine arched as his tail slowly began to retreat. The once beautiful black coat peeled away like strips of cloth melting off of his skin. Digging his newly formed fingers into the earth, the wolf flung his head back to the cloud covered sky. His shortening snout releasing a pain-filled howl that slowly morphed into a man’s screams of agony. As the changes slowed to a stop, the man laid there on the wet ground naked. Surrounded by the remnants of what had been his skin. Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the man slowly pushed himself to a kneeling position and let the cool night air sooth his burning skin.
“You?!” Re’ana cried in disgruntled awe as she recognized the platinum blonde hair on his head. “It was you the whole time?!” Her voice began to rise in pitch as she screamed. Vexed at the fact the wolf that had appeared to be her friend was the guard she completely despised.
“You could at least pretend that you’re happy to see me,” Fang replied as he stood up.
“How could I be happy knowing that you had been that wolf the whole time?! You lied to me!”
“I never lied to you. Just because I don’t tell you something doesn’t mean I am a liar.” Before Re’ana could answer his retort, he cut her off. “Princess, I would be happy to have this conversation with you; but, if you haven’t noticed, I’m naked. So, unless you want to watch me dress, I suggest you head back to the cave and wait for me.”
Re’ana, in her anger, had completely forgotten the fact that Fang was now completely nude. A burning blush filled her cheeks and she turned around to march toward the cave. “I expect an explanation when you return,” she growled. She stomped off toward the cave and tried to get what she had just seen out of her head.
Fang chuckled as he watched her storm off. Heading deeper into the forest, Fang paused by a fallen tree that some creature had hollowed out for shelter. The creature now gone, it had been the perfect place for Fang to hide his clothes and sword. “Almost made it two years without letting anyone see,” he sighed pulling on his fingerless gloves. He looked up to the veiled sky, finding the faintest glimmer of the moon above. “I guess it was bound to happen, given the circumstances.”
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Top of the morning, NympheaLily here!
Alright, now I caught up on the story. Fang is animangus-werewolf thing and Re'ana is a soft princess. Oh the possibilities! Anyway, this will be a shorter review and I have one thing to say about this. Don't worry it's nothing bad, it's just constructive criticism (I guess).
"I’m searching to see if it’s safe to return to the wall. I have friends watching over you while I’m gone. Do NOT leave the clearing. If you get hungry there is food in the sack. I will return by nightfall.
Fang
This is the one thing that got me. I had to read over it several times in order to understand what was happening. Anyway, I think that if you bold or italicize this one segment of the story, it would come across clearer than having as you have it now.
That's it, I promise! Now onto the good stuff. I loved the way you described the other background characters like the baker and the men who tried to assault Re'ana. I could feel their moods as if they were writing down everything they feel at that moment in time and projecting it on a fifty foot billboard right in front of my face. You did an excellent job describing the MC's feelings about the environment, other background characters, and each other.
That's all I have for this review and as always, KEEP THOSE FINGERS TYPING!
Ciao!
~NympheaLily
Ha! I knew it! Fang was the wolf!
Anyway, why do you keep calling the horse the equestrian. An equestrian is the rider. The equine is the horse.
Besides that it was awesome.
Ok, why did that post twice?
Ha! I knew it! Fang was the wolf!
Anyway, why do you keep calling the horse the equestrian. An equestrian is the rider. The equine is the horse.
Besides that it was awesome.
Glad to hear that you figured it out quickly. How did you like the transformation scene?
It was good from what I could tell. I'm no expert though.
Hello! I'll let you know that I haven't read chapters one or two, so pardon me if a few of my questions could be answered there.
For the very first note, I want to mention that if you want timely reviews, it might be prudent to split your chapters up into parts! I know a lot of my chapters tend to hover on the 7000-word mark, so I split them into 3 or 4 sections so people can read them more easily and give me more thorough reviews on my specific issues.
Moving on to the critique for the piece!
I'd like to first recommend finding a proofreader for the piece. You have some grammar and punctuation errors that a fresh set of eyes could notice and fix more easily than editing it yourself. I would also recommend educating yourself on comma splices and how to use a semicolon, the latter of which I've found this comic helps with tremendously.
Going along with proofreading, I'd suggest you double-check your word choice. You have some places in here where you have very awkward and unfortunate phrases. For example, "removal of her extremity" sounds like Re'ana is about to be castrated, while "released a terrified scream" sounds like she just passed some majorly bad gas. I don't think you meant to invoke either of these images, but because of your word choice, that's what you ended up with.
Some of this is because you avoid using the same word twice, and your writing, as a result, suffers. I would recommend throwing away the thesaurus. You don't need to use fancy words to have a sophisticated and emotional story, and, in fact, the more clinical words distance the reader from the story.
Continuing that, at some points in this you have misconjugated verbs. The most glaring offender on a quick read was "the day drug on", which sounds like a rural eight-year-old said it—the past tense of "drag" is "dragged"; "drug" is a prescription. I would actually suggest revising that word choice entirely and changing it to "the day wore on", which is more in line with the emotion you were trying to get across in the first place.
That's what I have for technical feedback. Now, we move on to the story itself.
I'd like to start off with your names. You use them a lot in your narration—I would say "too much", but I think that's just the feeling I get because of the issue I have with your syntax. Since you repeat yourself a lot, we look at "Re'ana" and "Fang" a lot, and we have a lot of time to wonder why those names really don't fit together at all.
Yes, there is some explanation in-story, I'm sure, but what's the etymological explanation for why a society developed the names Re'ana and Fang? Is Fang translated into English for the sake of the audience? If so, if Re'ana means something specific, why isn't that translated?
Not to mention, they don't fit together at all, and they resonate with an unfortunate pop-culture vibe. Re'ana is reminiscent of Rihanna, the well-known stage name of the musician Robyn Fenty; Fang is reminiscent of the character of the same name from the popular Maximum Ride series. While I'm not saying this means you can't use the names at all, I am saying that I would watch the pop-culture references you unintentionally invoke.
And with Re'ana's name, the apostrophe makes it very much an other name, distancing Re'ana from the reader just by virtue of what her name is. It's also similar to names given to fantasy characters and sci-fi aliens in fiction up through the 90s.
How do you pronounce the apostrophe in Re'ana's name? Is it pronounced at all? Is it a glottal stop? In all honesty, the same effect you're going for could no doubt be achieved by removing the apostrophe and changing the spelling a little so it's more obvious how the name is pronounced.
Moving on to the prose itself, I found it dry and lacking in emotional weight. I'm pretty sure this is an issue with the syntax, where the sentences are contorted to feel more "high fantasy"-ish without thinking of how it might affect the reader. The sentences are long, repetitive, and pretty dull when it comes down to it.
How do I feel when Re'ana is about to get her hand cut off? I know I'm supposed to be afraid, and then relieved when her mystery savior comes in like a bolt from the blue, but because the sentences are all the same length, there's no real sense of urgency. I don't feel Re'ana's fear or relief, so I don't feel anything at all.
Onwards and upwards! As far as character goes, I don't know where I stand on Re'ana. On the one hand, she's obviously very selfish and not sympathetic, but on the other hand, she comes across that way because the selfishness is being laid on thick. It's obvious that this is something of a contrived character trait to make us sympathize with Fang for having to put up with her, but how does this affect Re'ana as a person?
For that matter, who is Re'ana as a person? She daydreams for a bit, but it's very generic, vaguely about having a castle and being treated like a princess. I'm pretty sure a lot of people would like to live in a castle and be treated like royalty—so how does this dream specifically apply to Re'ana? What about being treated like royalty does she crave the most? Self-agency? Respect? Political power? Financial power?
What does Re'ana want? What is her end goal, her motive, the thing that keeps her moving along even in trying times? What is she willing to do, what pain is she willing to endure, to get what she wants? I don't get a sense of that through this chapter.
The most characterization we really get in the beginning of this chapter is when Re'ana finds that book and starts reading it, but even that is skipped over in favor of picking out one thing specifically. Give us more description of what's in the book, if Re'ana likes it so much—she's your point of view right now, so we should know what she knows and what she's interested in about her environment.
What is the book about? Does she get engrossed in the storyline? Does she care for the characters and the plot?
As it is, the book is simply a vehicle for you to bring us a generic fantasy prophecy.
Why does the poem exist in this novel? Re'ana obviously isn't very interested in it, and she doesn't think much of it, as is evidenced by her in-text reaction, so why is it picked out specifically? Quite literally, it should not be a part of this novel.
As a symbol, the poem doesn't really do its job, partially because it's poorly-written. The rhymes aren't well-executed, and the meter is awkward; if you're going to include poetry within your prose, I suggest you work on your poetry skills individually.
The poem gives the reader too much of an idea of what's going to go on in the novel, so you effectively spoil your plot and characterization in chapter 3. What reason do I, as the reader, have to keep reading? If I'm not connected to Re'ana as a character, and I'm not involved in the plot, why should I keep reading now that I know what's going to happen in a vague sense?
I repeat: If Re'ana doesn't think much of it, it shouldn't be included in the prose of your novel. By including it, you're attaching neon lights to it and screaming "this is important!"
Moving on, past the book. Throughout this chapter, I've found the descriptions to be bland and not very evocative; they don't draw me into the world at all, and appear to be taken from a stock portfolio of fantasy worlds. I would love to read some rich descriptions of the environment and Re'ana's surroundings.
Aside from just that, though, there aren't cultural elements that interest me or impact your characters in any way. In fact, some realities of the world seem to be ignored in favor of stereotypes: How, in a village—not typically the richest place to live—would a baker have enough money and food to get fat? I would accept it more in a large town or city, but in a small village? The baker has been turned into a generalization, rather than a character with a background and way of life.
The last issue I will address is a small instance of talking heads. You don't have to describe everything down to the smallest speck of dust, but it's helpful to know where your characters are and what they're doing, especially when it comes to Re'ana stealing that loaf of bread and the baker apprehending her. What are they doing? Is the baker lurching to grab at her? Is she trying to run? They trade "witty" remarks long enough to give Re'ana time to make a break for it, so why is she still so easily captured by this obese baker?
Well, I stopped about there, because I got 1800 words into this chapter and still had no emotional connection to Re'ana or her story. Honestly, I was very disconnected from this story, and not just because I jumped in at chapter 3. Oh, well. Keep writing!
Hello XxXTheSwordsmanXxX, once again you delivered it beautifully and amazingly. Your writing is rather impressive and you show amazing control over your own story.

There were a few small mistakes there I was able to notice.
'Rolling over to ask what he had made her for breakfast. She was rendered silent when she saw that Fang was no longer in the place where he slept.', there should be a comma after breakfast and not an end stop.
'A smile spread over (her) face as she quickly spurred Aria into a gallop, heading in the direction of the voices.'
'As she started down the dirt road that had been trampled out and ran through the middle of the village, Re’ana was greeted with a series of questioning stare(s) too.'
“I am Princess Re’ana, and I will be resting here for the night. Thank you for you(r) hospitality.”
'A scream drew Fang('s) attention to the cave where the leader held Re’ana and pressed a dagger to her throat.'
'The sound of the heavy rain muffled the quiet rasp of metal as Fang slowly pulled his dagger from the small (something's missing here) of his back.'
'What started as a group of twenty men was reduced to four in a matter of moments as they unknowingly turned on one another.', here you say there are four man, then he kills one of them and after it you still say there are four man stading, here: 'Fang turned his gaze back to the four bandits standing in a huddled group. He gave a slight motion of his head as a signal for the bandits to leave.'
'...There aren’t comfy beds for you to lay (y)our precious head on!...'
I don't know if there are more, but either way nothing like a re-read won't fix these.
P.S. I'm starting to find Re'anna's immaturity rather amusing, her improper comments and complains at certain critical moments actually leave me smiling and give an unusual humor to the story.
I'm glad that you're starting to like reana. The truth is that in a short time she is going to have an attitude adjustment. How did you like the transformation?
It was very graphic, but not in a bad way. I was able to imagine the transformation happening right in front of my eyes, with its every detail, both visual and sound.
You really have a thing for description!