Having finished her book, Re'ana sat contently staring out the window. She imagined the horse that would be waiting for her at Northshire when she arrived. She would want a mare with white hair so that she could wear colors that would accent any dress Re’ana chose for herself. It couldn't have a temper or attitude with her. It wouldn't sweat or get dirty like the animals that the guards rode. It would be perfect.
She saw movement in the trees that snapped her from her daydream. A large black figure darted between the trees in the distance. “Is that a bear?” Re'ana asked leaning toward the window.
“We don't have any bears within the wall, Princess,” Leena said.
“There are stories about a pack of wolves that have refused to leave the wood,” one of the women across from her said. “Some say that they protect the castle from any dangerous creatures that might make their way in.”
“Some say that their alpha is a dire wolf the size of the largest man,” said the other.
Re'ana sat back, a small amount of fear replacing her curiosity. “Why don't they hunt them down and get rid of them?” she questioned.
“They can't find them. Whenever they send a hunting party out to remove them, it's like they just vanish,” Leena says quietly. “The estates that skirt the forest have all come to the realization that if there are any wolves, they stay in the forest and don't bother anyone. Not even the livestock, which would be an easy meal for the pack.”
“That's strange,” Re'ana said. “Even animals have to eat.” When she looked out into the woods again she didn't see anything moving anymore, but she felt that there was something following them. When they finally left the woods behind, Re'ana felt like she could breathe again. As the sun began to set, giving the sky a pale orange hue, the carriages arrived at the town of Northshire.
A grand welcome was waiting for them. Flowers and lights were decorated all across the cobblestone street, and fireworks were shot off, exploding in a brilliant display of color and light. Re'ana smiled and waved, as was expected of her, even though she detested fireworks for the noise that they made. A large crowd had gathered outside the gates of their mansion in the city to imply their happiness of them being there. The sun had set and the stars were coming out to twinkle in the fabric of night as the carriages passed through the gate.
When the carriages pulled up to the mansion, Re'ana was angered to see the black clothed form of Fang standing at the top of the stairs against one side of the large doors. He bowed to the king and queen as they passed him and remained that way until after Re'ana had entered the mansion. Following them inside, he stood in the large entrance hall waiting for his orders. “I see that everything is in order,” the king said. “I take it that you oversaw that, Fang?”
“I'm afraid not, sire. I only arrived shortly before you did,” Fang said bowing his head respectfully.
“So you do have manners,” Re'ana muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.
“That I do, Princess. Despite your misgivings about me, I'm not a complete barbarian,” Fang said turning his gaze to Re'ana. His bright green eyes seeming to watch her like a hunter would watch his prey. “I'm going to do my rounds. Excuse me.” Fang abruptly turned and left the room.
Re'ana growled under her breath as she watched him leave. “He is absolutely infuriating!” she spat.
“He just takes some time to get used to,” the king replied with a chuckle. “Come, we've all had a long day and tomorrow is going to be busy. We should all get some rest.” Gratefully, everyone went to the respective rooms and settled in for the night. Re’ana only complained that the bed provided to her wasn’t as comfortable as her own.
Re'ana awoke in the middle of the night, with a start, to something scratching as her window. Rubbing her eyes she attempted to peer through the sleepy haze that clouded her vision and saw a shrouded creature floating at the large window. The shroud it wore was nothing more than wisps of sheer black cloth that only hinted at the form beneath it. The creature raised its metallic skeletal hand and beckoned her toward it with a single finger. She felt her body rise, seeming to move on its own accord, and walked toward the window. The shrouded figure continued to summon her closer with a single finger and a dread slowly filled her chest. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if this beckoning creature was sucking the air from her lungs. She screamed at herself to wake up over and over, but nothing happened. She watched her hand slowly rise to unhook the latch holding the window closed. She screamed at her body to stop as her fingers touched the smooth metal of the latch. A bright flash of light in the shadows beside the creature drove it into the darkness of the night with a terrifying shriek.
The next thing Re'ana knew, she was back in her bed like nothing had happened. Only the faint memory of a distant dream reminded her of the creature that had been at the window. The sun hadn't even begun to rise. Only the faint glow of dawn signaled the coming sunrise. Pulling on a robe she quickly headed out of the room to the kitchen for something to drink and to get out of the room that was still giving her a feeling of dread. “Will someone get me a drink,” she ordered as she opened the door. To her embarrassment she found that no one was there. She let out a huff as she waited for a moment to see if anyone would come.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.
I feel like you could draw out the suspension here just a bit. Maybe have her see another movement or a shadow. I just feel like there needs to be more tension between this sentence and this sentence Maybe have her imagine what would happen if the wolves went after them.Nit-picks
this whole paragraph was wonderful. You gave a really feeling of terror through out the paragraph and I was dying to find out what was going to happen. I'm sure that it wasn't a dream though. The way you described the creature was excellent and you got across Re'ana's fear so well. My heart was pounding as I read this. My only nit pick though is that I think it should be more than on paragraph as it's a little hard to read.
This is an excellent way of portraying Fang It sent chills running down my spine.
She is so spoiled. I hope that she'll stop being so high and might later into the story.
Grammar and Punctuation
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Overall thoughts
I really liked this chapter as it introduced a few more things into the story. The creature that Re'ana saw has appeared and though she thinks it's a dream, I'm not so sure.
Fang also just amped up the creepiness and I'm sure that he's the one that rescued Re'ana from the creature. I could be wrong though. Anyway, I'm going to go read the next chapter now.
Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Your friend, Felistia.
Well I am going to continue reviewing your works today so yea and they are going to be really long hopefully. As you know I like this series and really want to continue reading this series. The more I read your works the more I want to write a review to every part of Moonlight Saga. I kinda want to write a fantasy series because of this series that could rival you and make you work harder on this series though I know I couldn't do that. If I could would love to help you find a publisher to make this into a book that others would love and probably make a fan fiction of this series, I hope you wouldn't mind that. I think Fang is the dire wolf and nobody realises but Re'ana might be on her way to figuring it out on her own but not sure. I personally think Fang and Re'ana would make a great couple and that nobody would see that coming if you did that.
I want to know is there another book before this one or is this the beginning of a book series?
I hope to continue reviewing all your works cause this is a really good series.