z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Moonlight Saga: Lost Throne ~ Chapter 2.2 - Look Who Crashed the Party.

by XxXTheSwordsmanXxX


One of the Elven women danced up to the side of the carriage and held out a lily. “A present for the princess' birthday,” she said. Her auburn hair was decorated with a lily and her eyes emanated mischief. Re'ana gingerly took the flower and gave a nod of thanks, prompting the elf to twirl out of sight. Re'ana brought the lily up to her nose to smell its sweet perfume and was startled when the petals of the lily suddenly turned into doves that flapped about the carriage before making their escape out of the window.

Re'ana tossed the empty stem out of the carriage window. “The things they say about Elves are true. Why do they even let them into the wall?” Re'ana inquired.

“They entertain the peasants,” Leena said. “And the tax placed on them goes straight to the treasury. So they're tolerated because they more than pay for their stay.” The reasons, though reasonable, didn't make Re'ana like them any more. Gypsies were nothing more than con-artists seeking wealth from the easily amused.

They'll quickly sell you a bottle of snake oil as a miracle cure, just to earn a few more coin, she thought. “The only thing good about Elves is m their music,” Re'ana commented to herself as she continued to listen to the flutter of the flute, the beating of the drum, and the flourish of the violin cascading together in a mesmeric harmony.

“It's definitely something to dance to,” Leena said quietly. The Elves disappeared around the bend of the road, the sound of their music continuing just beyond the buildings.

Re’ana watched the spot where they had disappeared. “Let’s see how well they entertain,” Re’ana said getting the attention of the driver. The carriage was led to the open square which had been filled with stands displaying jewelry and clothes. Performances from acrobats to fire breathers were intermingled with the commoners who watched the performances. Stepping from the cart she was greeted by the commoners with a bow and an acknowledgment of “Princess.” Wandering about, without much direction, she watched the performers do their specific art before looking at the stalls of jewelry and extravagant clothing folded in a neat row on the makeshift counter.

Pausing at a jewelry stall, that was predominantly blue, Re’ana looked at a necklace of blue gems accented with silver swirls. “That there is a lovely necklace for a princess such as yourself, your highness,” an elderly woman said gently. Very few wrinkles marred her face and a pair of points marked where her ears were in the full bun of her white hair. “It’s crafted with azure stones from the Ice Mountain and silver spun from the spiders of the Everdark Abyss.”

“It’s lovely,” Re’ana said quietly.

“Take it,” the old woman said holding it out to her. “A birthday present on the princess’ big day.”

Re’ana looked to the woman, studying her for deceit. “Will it suddenly turn into birds or a weasel or some other kind of animal?”

“No, princess,” she said with a quiet chuckle. “It’s just a necklace. No magic. No tricks.” Re’ana took the necklace carefully, just in case it should suddenly disappear in a flash of light. She placed it around her neck and turned a little in the mirror on the table. “It suits you perfectly, Princess.” Re’ana nodded in approval before turning on her heel and walking off into the square.

A man stood on a stage and began shouting. “Come one. Come all. Witness the magnificent power of Lex’fend, the Magician.” He waved his hands about and threw skittering balls of light into the crowd, much to their amusement. “I need a volunteer, anyone will do.” Hands shot up throughout the crowd, trying to catch the attention of magician. “My lady!” he cried, spying the princess. “My lady! Would you grace us with your presence?” Being placed on the spot, Re’ana reluctantly agreed and walked up onto the stage. “Would you hold this, Princess?” he asked holding out a vase to her. With Re’ana holding it with both hands, Lex’fend rolled up his sleeves and waved his hands about in a theatrical manner. The vase in Re’ana’s hands suddenly changed into flowers. Re’ana watched in amazement as Lex’fend grabbed one flower and pulled out a string of flowers until there was none in her hand. “Do you like flowers, my lady?” Re’ana nodded and he flung the string of flowers into the air, where they gently drifted down in a ring to land around her neck. “Of course, these serpent daisies don’t always behave as they should.” Re’ana lifted her hands to the flower necklace and felt a smooth texture. Looking down, she saw the flowers around her neck were no longer flowers.

They had become a snake. A snake with bright green scales, gently squeezing at her skin. With a shrill scream she tore the serpent away and threw it on the ground.

On the stage lay the broken flower necklace, a few of its petals gliding gently down to the wooden floor. “You are a horrid man!” she screamed in anger. “No! Not even a man! An Elf! A gypsy Elf! I swear that I will see your horrid tricks and underhanded ways run out of this kingdom!” Re’ana stormed off the stage, her hands attempting to wipe away the feeling of crawling from beneath of her skin.

Getting back into the carriage, she planted herself into the seat with a furious posture. She glared out of the window having been put into a foul mood. “They’re tricky,” the woman across from her said. “We tried to warn you.”

“Nothing but charlatans and thieves, the whole lot of them,” Re’ana agreed. “Using their magic to distract you, all while they slip their hands into your coin purse.” She folded her arms in irritatation, huffing as it would be unladylike to spit out curses. “I’m ready to go back to the mansion!” she said to the carriage driver. He quickly spurred the horses toward the extravagant manner, still being decorated for the party that evening. Re’ana stormed out of the carriage and up to her room, not to be seen until the celebration later that night.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
524 Reviews


Points: 7146
Reviews: 524

Donate
Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:58 am
felistia wrote a review...



Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D

Nit-picks

“The only thing good about Elves is m their music,”
There's a slight grammar mistake in this sentence.

“Take it,” the old woman said holding it out to her. “A birthday present on the princess’ big day.”

Re’ana looked to the woman, studying her for deceit. “Will it suddenly turn into birds or a weasel or some other kind of animal?”

“No, princess,” she said with a quiet chuckle. “It’s just a necklace. No magic. No tricks.” Re’ana took the necklace carefully, just in case it should suddenly disappear in a flash of light. She placed it around her neck and turned a little in the mirror on the table. “It suits you perfectly, Princess.” Re’ana nodded in approval before turning on her heel and walking off into the square.
Oh well there's her attitude again. These people are commoners and don't have much money. She on the other hand has lots of money and she doesn't even offer to pay for the necklace.

Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

P.s sorry about the short reviews. It's just that I have to keep reading. :D




User avatar
44 Reviews


Points: 51
Reviews: 44

Donate
Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:57 pm
ofmonstersandmen1234 wrote a review...



Hello I'm sandman and I will be you reviewer today.

I like it. I love the part about Gypsies. The style of writing is essentially the best part for me. It is lovely. The way you make the chapter's title is the best thing . Just as KaiRyu said the title gives a lot of insider information on what the chapter is about. It is a good thing too because this is my last review today. I love that the way you write. It just brings the world to life and gives it dimension. I can't wait to see more of your work. This just makes me happy that someone could do so well in the first draft. It is amazing. The best of wishes from me to you. Hope you have an amazing review day. Happy writing.

P.S. I hope I was helpful to you and/pr your writing. :D




User avatar
77 Reviews


Points: 1812
Reviews: 77

Donate
Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:36 pm
KaiRyu wrote a review...



Yolo peoples!!!!! LadyRanicorn here for Another AMAZING review!!!!!

To start off on this chapter, what I liked about it, the title specifically, is how it adds a lot of insider information about the chapter. What the reader can infer about this chapter is that there's going to be a party and someones going to crash it. Now I haven't read any of the other chapters, so I'm sorry if I ask any unnecessary questions.

First off, I'm enjoying the whole A Midsummer Nights Dream theme you got going in the first paragraph. Like how you said "her eyes emanated mischief." It helps the reader get to know this particular character and how she's most likely to act. I also infer that Lily girl will be the one to crash the party.

I also enjoyed how you added the descriptions, it helps the non-imagineers to get a better idea of what the characters look like, I'm not one of those, just so you know!!! I also enjoyed the mystical feelings that you have in this chapter, with all of the elves, and princess and such. I personally enjoy fairy-tail like story's so this is a great topic for me. I love the story so far, so all that I can say is to keep up the good work!!! Until next time, LadyRanicorn out!!!!





In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
— Robert Frost