i remember that time
when we were relishing those summer days together
i was six and you were eleven
me just starting my school journey
and you just leaving for the next school up
but those precious early summer days
where we had nothing better to do
than lie on the grass and make pictures in the clouds
eating popsicles and grass-staining our dresses
*
"that one looks like a horse!"
i would point
but then it would change in the wind
and you would say that it looked more like a bugler
standing atop a cloud declaring some royal announcement
then i would playfully argue that that was not right
it looked more like a fish blowing bubbles
*
as the wind disintegrated the old cloud
blowing it to wisps behind the trees
we would pick a new cloud
and play the game again
until hunger drove us into the house for lunch
*
my favorite parts were when the moon became a part of a picture
like the water drop a mermaid made
or a slice of cheese an ogre reached for
there was also the time when airplanes drew clouds across the sky
and made staffs for wizards
and jump ropes for dryads
*
but now that you're fourteen and i'm nine
you left me alone in the grass
to instead pursue makeup and popularity
and maybe a boyfriend even though mom wouldn't allow it
i'm stuck as a child with my dreams of fantasy
and you try to be 'grown-up'
but all i want to do with you once more
is make some pictures out of clouds
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
This poem is brutally honest but still beautiful. I love how the narrerater talks for so long about what they remember, before finally talking about how it's gone now and they miss it. As we grow up, many of us decide we're too old to have fun, because that's what society says. But they're wrong. This poem is so honest, and I know I'll be thinking about it for a long time.
Thank you! c:
Hey! Lovely poem! I enjoyed reading it.
.
. Really nice poem TheBlueCat!!
I don’t really have any problems with your poem, so I’ll just talk about what I like.
A lot of your wording is really nice. For some reason, the line “lie on the grass and make pictures in the clouds” really resonated with me. I also really enjoyed your descriptions of the clouds. For example, “or a slice of cheese an ogre reached for.” That’s really creative, and something I’ve never heard before. You didn’t go the easy way out with overdone descriptions, and I appreciate that.
That’s really all I have to say! Sorry this review was short and probably unhelpful
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed! c:
Hi BlueCat,
This is a great poem, nostalgic and descriptive and evocative of a more innocent age. Thank you for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed c:
Hi there TheBlueCat I am hear to do a review on you poem, i remember that time, so when you do an I yooshely it is a capital so just be ewer of that, nekst thing that I can say about it is that what are you remembering in this sentient, when we were relishing those summer days together, okay can you explain to me what relishing has got to do with this bit, i was six and you were eleven okay the I again, and also it should say, I was six and you were eleven at the time, so that is what think of that bit, me just starting my school journey, this I think should say, I was just starting my school journey, and you just leaving for the next school up, this sounds stanch in away, * now I just want to gif you a tip, yashaly people make a little line in sted of what you did, so just a line like this – that is all you need, and also you should have a fool stop at the end of you senates there, i would point there is the I problem again, standing atop a cloud declaring some royal announcement, this bit sounds a bit stanch don’t you think, then i would playfully argue that that was not right, I problem, and why do you have to that there, * line there, but now that you're fourteen and i'm nine same thing hear with the I, so that is all that I can say I hop that this was help fill to you, so keap up with the good work.
From @MoonFlower