keep your eyes to the skies, my love

I love this. It's so deep and beautiful, and the feel of it is so flowy and perfect.

I have nothing to suggest to fix.

I love how you're talking to someone and telling them not to be afraid, and to look on the bright side of the world and its beautiful colors.

I especially enjoy these kinds of poems because it focuses on the good things instead of the bad. Like often we focus on bad things instead of good in this world, and often people don't lift their eyes to the beautiful world we live in now.

My favorite line is:

~look at the constellations,

the pictures made from stars.

there's pegasus and cassiopeia;

the little and big dippers

with the north star showing you the way. ~


Ah so beautiful. Even the dark night holds it's wonders, we just have to look at the sky.

Hope this was encouraging! Please keep writing, I love this!!

looovee this!

I LOVE THIS. It has such an amazing message and it has amazing imagery. I have a question though- Are you trying to encourage everyone who reads this? or are you saying this to someone you know personally? anyways, amazing poem and really good job!

Hiya! I'm here to review your amazing poem! Okay so first things first, I personally think your poem started out a little shaky, but the last 3 stanzas were absolutely beautiful! I really like the words you chose and I think you ended it in the best way possible. I also think you did well with the spacing, and you gave me a clear imagery while I was reading. Overall, awesome job!

Oh my goodness, this is so good, my some of my favorite lines being

"look at the constellations,

the pictures made from stars."
-----------

Anyway, first verse,

"you've spent your whole life staring at the ground.

don't you think it's time to look, time to lift your chin up?

there are so many beautiful things above,

and you've forgotten how to see them."

I'm just guessing this is about someone trying to encourage someone else they love, who's depressed or something to look at the bright things in life. Structurally I love it, but why doesn't it have any capitals?

Second verse

"see the sunset,

how the light shines

all hues of pink and purple and red.

reaching its fingers out across the darkening sky."

Nice! Again it could use capitals, but that's about it! I'm guessing now that whoever's talking is trying to tell their loved one what they're missing out on and why they should try to be more optimistic.

"but don't be afraid of the dark,

my love, my dear.

because now the moon comes out to shine,

and the stars come help light up the night."

Oooh did you mean this to be a metaphor? The "Dark" referencing to whatever hard period the person's loved one is going through and the "moon and stars" representing loved ones/happier times"


look at the constellations,

the pictures made from stars.

there's pegasus and cassiopeia;

the little and big dippers

with the north star showing you the way."

The names--if nothing else need to be capitalized here.

"even as the night slips away,

and the sun rises once again,

the sky regains its colors.

the stars and moon will slip away,

but listen close,

my daughter, my dear.

now the birds are singing

a sweet morning song."

*Cries* So it's a parent talking to their daughter, trying to tell them to appreciate the good things in life? I feel that this entire poem could be taken as metaphor, but feel free to correct me if that's not how you meant it.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

this is a very beautiful piece. Made me tear up a little

Hi,
That's beautiful reminding someone to look forward rather than getting depressed living with inferior thoughts of society.

"you've spent your whole life staring at the ground.

don't you think it's time to look, time to lift your chin up?

there are so many beautiful things above,

and you've forgotten how to see them."

I love this stanza the most, because, this one describes all the remaining part of the poem.
overall it's a beautiful poem. keep writing good things.