Young Writers Society

I have a question for myself...
Why did I think it was a good idea to read this well I was hungry?
*Leaves keyboard, and goes to the kitchen**Comes back with cheese crackers*
There we go, now that we have Cheese and Crackers, which are my Bread and Butter, we can start on the review for your poem, Milk and Cookies. XD
You did an absolutely wonderful job making me envision the cookies! (That's probably why I got so hungry afterwards) I've noticed with a lot of the poems I've read by you, you always do an amazing job with descriptive words.
LOL, I love the last line, "Never around long" That is a very true statement.
Really, the only thing I think that could make this poem even better if maybe some figurative language. Other than that, this poem is excellent! Keep on writing, and have a great day!

*frowns as stomach growls*
Darn it now I'm hungryyyy

Anywho, Izzy here for a review!

I really really really (yes three reallys) how descriptive you were with this and I like the mood of this poem and that it is so upbeat, and the way your stanzas are placed.

I enjoyed this because it wasn't a super deep poem, and it just talks about cookies and milk.
It's good. Tis very good.

Thats all!
Keep writing!

Izzy

Hello TheBlueCat,

Here today to give a quick review for your piece entitled 'Milk & Cookies'

I'd first like to say that I like these upbeat poems that appear to be a 'written in the moment/mood' type thing. I've read countless poems about particular foodstuffs and I really believe the imagery and detail you can create is relatable and satisfying in this context.

As far as my favourite stanza, it would definitely have to be the opening description. I love it because when you read it out loud (poetry is meant for this) it sounds like a destined jigsaw puzzle, like the lines flowing into each other were meant to be together. It does sound pretty soppy but this can really entice the reader to continue, especially if random inspired poetry is not their thing.

Although I must say as an improvement, you could add the word 'and' before the word waiting in the 4th line. I'm usually not a fan of fillers as it appears to be unprofessional, but in this case, it has everything to do with the iambic pentameter and amount of feet within a single line.Just some food for thought.

Apart from that I enjoyed reading it as a casual dose of poetry for tonight.

PenmanshipPriority!

Wow! You caught me at the moment when I am ravenously hungry. That was really a shock to my system! Very well-described with vivid visual imagery. I also like the way that the stanzas are artistically separated. It somehow enhances my craving for that food! Why? Beats me. I guess the pause makes the need to get to those cookies more urgent. As if the waiter or waitress is taking a long time to get to my table with the goodies. LOL!

Suggestion:

The word "mess" doesn't engender a pleasant image. I would seek another word.
The words: "jumble" "mound" "panorama" would work better for me.


[cookie-filled]

Hello, Hope here.

YUM. You were right, I'm getting hungry . I liked this piece of poetry a lot. You did a good job of describing everything so that I could really get a clear picture. I like cheerful poems a lot. This definitely improved my mood. And now I'm craving cookies -_-

I think there is just one thing I'm going to comment on. "Two cookies gets chosen". I think you could have worded this a little better. And change "gets" to "get". But this was the only thing that I could spot that was wrong with this, so good job.

All in all, this was a well-written poem. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. Just check that grammar And have fun writing.

Good luck!