you write in cursive
your papers engraved with alluring designs
elegant, continuous, looped, and connected,
flowing with rhythmic, patterned grace
dancing and spinning and leaping
across the ornate page
~
you sing in cursive
your words like tea, honey, and a hint
of almond milk, sweet but not too sweet
and ever so comforting,
each letter intertwining,
merging to create a serene melody
~
but you don't think in cursive
you let the dark ink pool in your mind,
washing away your sense of self-worth,
casting a shadow on the light,
the light you pretend to shine
to fend off others’ worried eyes
~
but you can’t see in cursive
your eyes are fogged and tainted
by society’s twisted standards,
amplifying your profound insecurities,
you fail to see your curves
as beautiful, as satisfactory
~
but i see you in cursive
your angelic, calming nature,
giving and caring and selflessly
healing those you love, i see your spirit,
pure and painted with lavender pigments,
and i wish, i wish you could too
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139,825 Literary Works • 672,772 Reviews
Hi!
Your imagery is fantastic! You feel as though you're immersed within the speakers feelings and thoughts, and that's something which I'm still learning to do (as a poet), so well done for that. My favourite line is "your angelic calming nature, giving and caring and selflessly" you really visualise the person the speaker is speaking about, in a heavenly and bright nature which I think it's really clever the way that you've done that. My only suggestion for a change would be in stanza 2 (the last line) and change melody to heavenly to immerse the reader in the angelic imagery you create. Well done!
Keep writing
Thanks for the review!
Dang. This slaps. The visual poetry is so vivid. I can taste the honey and almond milk, and picture the beautiful angel with the cursive voice and caring hands. Somehow the lavender pigments soothe my soul, and I can feel the pool of ink filling up her skull, and I can’t help but plead with you that she'll let the darkness flow into that beautiful story that waits on the pages of her lifetime before it’s too late. I want to see her, partly because I’ve got a thing for girls sans curves, and partly because I’ve got a thing for girls with big hearts who understand what it’s like to go through the dark stuff that made up many years of my life, and I wonder if I could tell her in all honesty that she is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. It’s too bad that lavender girls are too often exactly what people need, but they’re too afraid to open they’re hearts to something so real. And on that note, your friend is a singer and a writer of ~17? Set me up plz loll.
I wish the two of you health, strength and wisdom enough to overcome the cowardly demons that would do all they can to hold back an angelic soul from spreading their love to those who would receive it.
Thanks for the review! And I'm so sorry to tell you but I made the girl in this poem up, so she doesn't actually exist. I just based the character off of a mix of many people I know.
Haha okay lol well good luck to all of you then
Thanks!
Hi Quennie, thank you for sharing your work. This poem flows really nicely due to the structure you created. My only comment would be on this part:
"But you can’t see in cursive
your eyes are fogged and tainted
by society’s twisted standards,
amplifying your profound insecurities"
In my opinion "twisted" it's not necessary here, cause I tend to avoid placing too many adjectives together but is just just a suggestion!
Thanks for the review!
Hello there! I'm here for a short review. And to tell you that I enjoy reading this poem and I love the way you wrote it out. I enjoyed reading this story because you didn't capitalize unnecessarily and wrote it out your way, in your style. I think it's a beautiful piece of writing and I have a little suggestion for you on it.
I like the way you write this but I think it might be a little better if you don't use periods at all. I was thinking this since you didn't capitalize the other first letters of the sentence. Not much of it was grammatically written and so I just thought it might be more convenient to write that way.
It isn't really important but I personally think it might be better if you add a comma before " and". Nothing important but just a suggestion.
I also think it might be better without "a" before "rhythmic, patterned grace."
I don't think I have anything big to point out and all of the things I suggest above aren't very important. Plz do not worry about it if you are confused about whether to take the suggestions or not, it's just suggestions. At last, the review is about to end and I again want to tell you that your writing is beautiful and indeed think you are a talented poet.
Keep on writing!
~Chris
Will Review For Free
Thanks for the review and I really appreciate the suggestions!
@Queenie You're welcome. Have a great day!