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Snow White

by Queenie


Atop the exquisite emerald hill,

through the ornate ocean of orchids,

past the alluring azure river,

inside the impressive, intricate castle,

lay the mystical mirror,

displayed on the stone wall.

~

A young girl stood,

skin as white as snow,

lips as red as blood,

hair as black as night,

staring longingly in the mirror.

~

She wished relentlessly for her mother,

as she envisioned her by her side.

Her mother’s pale fingers gently stroked her hair,

brushing and braiding it as she hummed a sweet melody,

her cheeks rosy and heart warm.

~

Tears dripped down her face,

as she slipped back to reality.

She never had the chance

to meet her mother,

to know her,

but still, she knew,

deep down, that she loved her.

~

A mysterious masked face

appeared in the mirror,

and the girl chanted the curse

she knew all too well.

“Mirror mirror on the wall,

who’s the fairest of them all”.

~

The face cackled and grinned.

“My princess,

you are the fairest of them all”,

but she was desperate for another answer

for she was frightened

of the queen’s vicious vanity

and her ruthless response.

~

Tears blurred her vision,

fear clouded her judgment,

as she ran,

inside the claustrophobic castle,

past the river of regrets,

through the ostentatious orchids,

atop the excessive emerald hill,

and into the forboding forest.

~

She looked up at the dimming sky,

praying to her mother

to guide her,

to help her,

to be with her,

when she needed her the most.

~

But then she dropped her gaze,

embarrassed for believing in spirits.

She felt disheartened and lonely,

but still, she ran,

and soon she no longer ran alone.

~

A pale dove fluttered by,

as if sent from the heavens,

and led her through the trees,

while chirping a sweet melody.

~

She glanced up,

as the darkness revealed the stars,

and whispered “thank you”,

as she disappeared into the night.


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User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 42
Reviews: 38

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Tue May 26, 2020 11:28 am



I love this poem. Your descriptions are very beautiful, like i'm staring enraptured at a field of beautiful gems while i'm reading. I feel for poor Snow White...
I love your description of the forest, the river, the castle.

"Atop the exquisite emerald hill,

through the ornate ocean of orchids,

past the alluring azure river,

inside the impressive, intricate castle,

lay the mystical mirror,

displayed on the stone wall"

It's a little heartbreaking how she wishes for a mother only to be stuck with the evil stepmother of nightmares. This reminds me to be more thankful i have a loving mother who does not send hunters after me.
The chanted curse is a warning for Snow White to escape the clutches of her evil stepmother, i don't think she takes pride in being the fairest of them all, unlike the evil queen who would lord it over everyone else. I like how the scenery sort of changes after the mirror answers her. How everything becomes darker, like the forboading forest, the claustrophobic castle the ostentatious orchids. Snow White doesn't seem silly to me for wishing for her mother, even though she chastisises herself. The silver doe that guides her was a nice touch, it kind of reminded me of Harry Potter, but that's because i'm a proud fanatic.




User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 42
Reviews: 38

Donate
Tue May 26, 2020 11:28 am



I love this poem. Your descriptions are very beautiful, like i'm staring enraptured at a field of beautiful gems while i'm reading. I feel for poor Snow White...
I love your description of the forest, the river, the castle.

"Atop the exquisite emerald hill,

through the ornate ocean of orchids,

past the alluring azure river,

inside the impressive, intricate castle,

lay the mystical mirror,

displayed on the stone wall"

It's a little heartbreaking how she wishes for a mother only to be stuck with the evil stepmother of nightmares. This reminds me to be more thankful i have a loving mother who does not send hunters after me.
The chanted curse is a warning for Snow White to escape the clutches of her evil stepmother, i don't think she takes pride in being the fairest of them all, unlike the evil queen who would lord it over everyone else. I like how the scenery sort of changes after the mirror answers her. How everything becomes darker, like the forboading forest, the claustrophobic castle the ostentatious orchids. Snow White doesn't seem silly to me for wishing for her mother, even though she chastisises herself. The silver doe that guides her was a nice touch, it kind of reminded me of Harry Potter, but that's because i'm a proud fanatic.




User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 42
Reviews: 38

Donate
Tue May 26, 2020 11:27 am
Beautifulsparkle wrote a review...



I love this poem. Your descriptions are very beautiful, like i'm staring enraptured at a field of beautiful gems while i'm reading. I feel for poor Snow White...
I love your description of the forest, the river, the castle.

"Atop the exquisite emerald hill,

through the ornate ocean of orchids,

past the alluring azure river,

inside the impressive, intricate castle,

lay the mystical mirror,

displayed on the stone wall"

It's a little heartbreaking how she wishes for a mother only to be stuck with the evil stepmother of nightmares. This reminds me to be more thankful i have a loving mother who does not send hunters after me.
The chanted curse is a warning for Snow White to escape the clutches of her evil stepmother, i don't think she takes pride in being the fairest of them all, unlike the evil queen who would lord it over everyone else. I like how the scenery sort of changes after the mirror answers her. How everything becomes darker, like the forboading forest, the claustrophobic castle the ostentatious orchids. Snow White doesn't seem silly to me for wishing for her mother, even though she chastisises herself. The silver doe that guides her was a nice touch, it kind of reminded me of Harry Potter, but that's because i'm a proud fanatic.




Queenie says...


Thanks for the review!



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33 Reviews


Points: 1667
Reviews: 33

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Tue May 12, 2020 4:02 am
sulagna wrote a review...



Hi Quinee...
I think that ur poem was great !
I have never came across such beautiful poem . I think that though the poem was nice
but at some places it became dull. but its fine.
Ur way of describing the pretty girl was fabulous .
I am a little younger than u but still I could understand the poem.
I would try to adopt ur skills and hope i would also be able to write something like that !
keep writing !
from Sulagna




Queenie says...


Thanks for the review!



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5 Reviews


Points: 12
Reviews: 5

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Sat May 09, 2020 5:40 pm
Ram Hood 001 wrote a review...



Wow! great!
For me, versification will always be unattainable. An even number of syllables, the same emphasis on paired syllables - all this mathematics will never give soul to a poem.
You did it!
Excerpt:
"A young girl stood,

skin as white as snow,

lips as red as blood,

hair as black as night,

staring longingly in the mirror".

  like a spell :)
Wow! Continue and improve!




Queenie says...


Thanks for the review!



User avatar
54 Reviews


Points: 605
Reviews: 54

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Thu May 07, 2020 6:07 am
PlainandSimple wrote a review...



Hey!

Wow! This is such a wonderful take on the story of Snow White. Such a different, yet tasteful, look on her story. The way you describe things bring me into her world, a magical yet dim world. I love the wording used throughout, it really adds to your poem. Really, really great job!

I see no mistakes or anything to change. It's just quite a perfect poem, and I'm happy you shared it.

Can't wait to read more of your work!

From your friend,
@PlainandSimple




Queenie says...


Thanks for the review!




One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
— Proverb from Romania and Russia