I needed a way to get back, a way to get back at him.
I wanted revenge. No…
I needed it.
-A
Over the next four days, Gloria only went to school for two and a half of them. Not that it did much good; she spent most of her time in a room in the guidance counselor’s office. She couldn’t handle sitting in a classroom and not see Ann there next to her. It was too much for her to handle.
She was a freshman and had the worst transition to high school in the history of the world. By the third week of school she had straight D’s. Ann had been there to help. Even though she was a junior, Ann was in half of Gloria’s classes. She was a smart girl and had already finished the required classes. She was going to graduate a year early. She needed to fill up her schedule with something, so she signed up for freshmen classes she hadn’t taken.
That’s where she had met Gloria. Or at least, that’s where they became friends. They had actually met on the third day of soccer tryouts, but Ann made no attempts at becoming friends. She simply introduced herself and moved on.
On that day, they already had a list of most of the team. Cuts had happened the day before and there were only ten girls left with four spots to fill. Coach pulled Ann aside and asked her who she thought would be a good addition. As a team captain, she got half the say in who would be chosen. Ann had picked out Gloria.
“I don’t know,” Coach had said. “Sure she’s got potential, but after a year on JV she’ll be more experienced.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t seen her play,” Ann argued. “Watch.”
Coach crossed her arms and faced the girls. They were setting up a scrimmage and Gloria was playing fullback. Ann watched for a couple minutes as Gloria struggled at the position. Finally, she stepped in and stopped the scrimmage. She moved Gloria to forward and play resumed. Gloria went on to score five goal and have three assists. Ann turned to Coach and grinned. Coach rolled her eyes and wrote Gloria’s name under the ‘starting’ category on her clipboard.
Ann went up to Gloria after tryouts and congratulated her before heading home. As the starting goalie, Ann didn’t really run into Gloria at practice. She spent most of her time in the goal, trying to stop Coach from scoring. Gloria was always at the other end of the field, kicking the ball into an open goal. They had barely enough time to get water during breaks, much less have a conversation, and by the time practice was over everyone was too tired to stay and talk. So Ann never got a chance to talk with Gloria.
The second day of school, Ann walked into the freshman Drama class she had signed up for and realized that Gloria was in it too. She decided to sit next to her in order to work on the team chemistry. She wasn’t set on being best friends, but fate had something else in mind.
This was what Gloria thought about when she sat in the counselor’s office. She thought back on her life; on Ann’s life. She sat there, her arms in a pile of tears, her head resting on them. She cried for hours, pulled herself together long enough to eat lunch, and then went back. Her teachers had sent her classwork, but it sat in a pile on the corner of a desk, untouched. She would bring it home every day, but it ended up on the floor or piled up on her desk.
At the end of the day, Gloria sat and listened to the bell. The long, boring tone sounded just like her life; miserable. She would sit there until Haley, a senior from the soccer team, came to get her. Haley would drive her home, trying to cheer her up and strike up a conversation, but it was to no avail. Gloria refused to talk. Haley would sigh and drive the rest of the way in silence, the radio softly playing in the background.
Gloria would thank Haley and climb out when they reached her house. She would sulk off to her room, ignoring anyone who happened to be sitting on the couch watching television, and sink into her bed.
She was torturing herself inside. She needed to get over it. Everyone else had. Gloria seemed to be the only one who cared so much about Ann. Haley had known Ann since middle school and she seemed to be coping fine. How could they get over it so fast?
“Only the good die young,” Gloria said aloud to herself. She knew it was true, but she couldn’t accept the truth.
Gloria cried her last tears and sat up. She had to be strong, for Ann. Her memory had to live on and Gloria seemed to be the only one who could keep that alive. She grabbed a textbook from on top of her school work pile and opened it up. She was going to move on;
She had to.
End of chapter
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I think that most authors or producers or just artists just have this thing when their first work is the best and as they go on, their work just kind of diminishes. Some people are the opposite but I think that's your problem. Your first chapter was very impressive but this second chapter needs some work. There does need to be some description and I think you should have put in some more dialogue when you were telling of how they became friends. It just needs some more description and dialogue and this will seriously reel your readers in. Can't wait to read the rest of your chapters. Keep writing.
I think it could use more descriptive language. The story line is nice but its seems very plain to me.
Should being "seeing" not "see".
I like this. Quite dramatic
I like this to. It makes it seem so much more real. It's not your usual best friends at first sight kind of thing.
Nice use of a good quote
Err, hold on. I might have gotten this wrong but didn't you say Gloria had thrown all of Ann's stuff out of her room, or at least put it in a box somewhere. I might be wrong there though so if I am please correct me
Very nice. I'm loving this story more and more. Do keep on a this! PM me or post somthing on my wall if you have any queries, Midnight x