The Missing Piece - Chapter Three

by Noelle

Published July 27, 2012

In Past Works (done and over with)

The first thing Ryder saw when she opened her eyes was a plain white ceiling. This confused her. She sat up and groaned. Her bones ached, but her back hurt her the most; and she had no idea why.

The walls of the room matched the ceiling, painted the same bland color. There were no paintings, no pictures, no windows. The only decoration Ryder found was a small oval mirror on the wall behind her. She turned to look at it, but instantly regretted it. She didn’t like what she saw.

Where was the small, fragile girl with short brown hair? It had been just two years ago that she had graduated Academy Prep and started her first day at the Academy. It had changed her; she hadn’t noticed until now.

She had become a fire warrior, a girl preparing for the Hunter’s Test, a girl ready to head outside the wall. It seemed unfair. The professors at the Academy had requested the change of hair color and personality. Dying her hair blue had taken a short while, but changing her personality had taken much longer. Months.

It’s not easy to completely change a person. Yet the Academy professors demanded it. It was mandatory for graduation.

“Gaining power itself is not sufficient. You must change to fit your power.” A professor had once told Ryder after she questioned their reasoning of changing their students. She didn’t like the answer, but she had to live with it.

A single tear rolled down her cheek and landed on her foot. Then came a flood of tiny tears, splashing to the floor. She made no move to stop them. But she couldn’t look at herself anymore. Lowering her head, she cried even more.

She couldn’t bear to look at her reflection. This wasn’t the real Ryder Electa. The real Ryder didn’t cry. She was a warrior, not some scared, sad child; she had grown up. She was a fighter, someone you could trust with your life; someone to defend you. She had powers given to her from the dragon himself. Mother Nature had even blessed her with a gift. That was a secret to keep between her and the bearer of gifts.

If not all of these, she was a Brya; a full grown, all access citizen of Bryok. No one could take that from her. And she wasn’t about to strip herself of that title. She had worked too hard in her short life to ruin it all because she was sentimental.

A knock came at the door and a voice called out her name. She recognized the voice immediately and opened the door. As soon as the girl walked into the room, she flung her arms around Ryder’s neck, hugging her tightly.

“Thank God you’re alright!”

“I appreciate the love, Haleema, but my back hurts like shit so I’d appreciate if you stopped crushing me.”

“Sorry,” the girl Haleema said, pulling away. She looked into Ryder’s eyes, hands on her shoulders. “They said you had died.” Ryder could see the hurt in her best friend’s eyes. It was almost painful to see.

She couldn’t remember the last time they had seen each other. Haleema had decided to take Dameon’s path and become a Healer so she spent her time at the Academy in a different space than Ryder.

Dameon Spirits was the man who founded Bryok. He was the first magician, the first Brya and the first Healer. Healers were tough to find and anyone who followed the path of Dameon was given a high status.

There was one thing that made Ryder’s head ache. “Why am I here? And where did all of these injuries come from?”

Haleema looked at her with silent surprise. She didn’t answer the question, but simply set to fixing her best friend. Wandering back into the hallway, she rolled in a cart. There were medical supplies on it; medicine and bandages, gauze and tape, towels and water. And that was just the top shelf. Ryder didn’t even recognize some of the supplies. She gasped as a brown liquid was poured over the gash on her left leg. She knew the concoction by smell. It was a popular healing medicine.

“Is it bad?” She asked, scared of the answer she might get.

“No,” Haleema responded, replacing the bottle of liquid and grabbing a roll of gauze. She began wrapping it around Ryder’s leg. “But it will still take a while to heal. I would recommend staying off of it for a few days.” Ryder couldn’t help but grin.

“When have you ever known me to sit still?” As if to prove her point, she swung her legs over the edged of the bed and stood up. She collapsed as soon as she hit the floor, Haleema rushing over to help her.

“That’s why you need rest,” she reprimanded. “Now sit back down so I can take a look at your head.” Ryder didn’t argue as her friend helped her back onto the bed. Her head did hurt the most. And she still had no recollection as to how she got any of her injuries.

“How did this even happen?” she asked. Haleema hesitated before answering. Ryder braced herself. It must be bad news if even her best friend didn’t want to tell her.

“Do you remember anything from yesterday?” Ryder shook her head which only made Haleema’s gaze worse. She had never looked so sad in her life.

Ryder had expected an explanation, but Haleema offered none. She simply sighed and went back to healing her. The two were silent as Haleema worked. Ryder wasn’t sure what to say. She wanted to know what had happened, but Haleema didn’t seem like she wanted to talk.

“Tell me what happened,” Ryder begged.

“Fine,” Haleema sighed, sitting next to her on the bed. Ryder snuck a glance at her friend. For a second she looked exactly as she had on their first day at Academy prep. It was scary. They had been friends for nearly ten years.

“Yesterday was the Hunter’s Test…”

“And I don’t remember it?!” Ryder blurted out. “How cruel! Did I win? Am I a Hunter? Who did I get paired with?” Haleema glared at her.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“As I was saying, yesterday was the Hunter’s Test,” Haleema continued. “You participated, of course. It was the same as every year; they let you all into the Dome one pair at a time and waited at the end to see who came out. This year is extra special though because it’s the 175th year this has occurred.

“Anyway, for some reason there was a lot of discussion about who to pair you with. The professors went back and forth for hours, spitting out names of kids I didn’t even know. They even suggested that I be your partner, but I pointed out that I was not participating, nor was I a boy.”

Ryder understood. Haleema had chosen to take the path of Dameon just weeks before the girls started at the Academy. Ryder had spent weeks trying to convince her otherwise, but her heart was set. So Ryder dropped the subject. Haleema was her best friend after all; she would support whatever decision she made about her future.

At the age of fourteen, children in Bryok attend the Academy, the only school in the city. There they choose one of four paths; a magician, a Healer, a leader (politician), or no path. The majority of the students select the magician path, but the Healer path was the second most popular. Dameon established the Healer path himself.

The highlight of the magician path is the Hunters Test after graduation. It’s what Ryder had been looking forward to since she started studying at the Academy. She cursed her spot of amnesia for not letting her recall the events that took place.

“They eventually paired you with Leonard Cisera.” Haleema said carefully.

Ryder bit her tongue. She wanted to cry out in exasperation. She hated Leo. He was a stuck up, arrogant boy who thought he could control his powers. She didn’t care that they had tied for top of their class; she didn’t trust him. He was impulsive, always making the worse decisions.

How could her professors match her with him? They should’ve known better. Hadn’t they spent half of the first term getting to know each student personally? Hadn’t they picked up on the fact that Ryder hated Leo? They obviously hadn’t studied her well enough.

“That’s so stupid,” she cried out. She couldn’t help it anymore. The feelings she had for Leo couldn’t be held in any longer. “I could’ve been paired with anybody and I got Leo? The jerk of all jerks? The impulsive twit? There had to be someone better. Hell, I’d choose the weakest magician over Leo.”

Haleema smiled grimly. “If I can recall correctly, that’s how you reacted yesterday as well. Whether it was the right decision or not, you were paired with Leo and scheduled to start the test fifth.

“There was a lot of waiting after that. Normally the winners emerge after two hours, you know that, but no one had exited for nearly five hours. I was invited to sit with the Othir and the professors. It was quite an honor actually. They were all very uncomfortable with the situation. Mary, the newest professor, have you met her? I can’t recall. Anyway, Mary was about to call it quits when the ground began to shake.”

Ryder shifted nervously in her spot. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest.

“It was soft at first, just a few tremors, but then it grew in force.” Haleema described. “The Othir used much of their powers to try and stop it, but to no avail. Their main concern turned to the participants. A few rushed forward only to be thrown backward as if something was keeping them out. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen. And then…”

Haleema paused and took a deep breath. “And then the Dome exploded.”

Ryder didn’t know whether to cry out or laugh. It seemed too far fetched to be real. She had grown up with stories of the Hunters Test, but nothing like that. It just wasn’t possible.

One question still burned in the back of her mind. “But why can’t I remember any of this?”

“You suffered a bad concussion,” Haleema explained. “How you got it, I’m not sure. The memories of yesterday may never come back.”

“The Dome exploded?” Ryder asked, changing the subject. She didn’t want to think about how she may have lost the memories of the most important day of her life. “How?”

“That’s where you come in,” Haleema responded, walking back over to her cart. She grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a few towels, and a large bandage. She cleaned out the wound on Ryder's head as she spoke.

“The Othir wants to meet with you.” Ryder raised her eyebrows. “What? You think I came in here just to fix you up?” Haleema asked.

“But I remember nothing.” Ryder complained. How could she stand in front of the Othir, Bryok’s ruling council, and explain that she had a concussion and couldn't remember anything. Surely they wouldn’t believe her. They would think she was trying to hide something and press on for more information. She never liked the Othir. They always knew too much for their own good. They also liked to pry into people’s lives without an invitation.

“Just follow me.” Haleema spoke finally. Ryder slid off of the bed and tested her bandaged leg. It held her well enough so she walked with Haleema out of the room. They had walked into a burst of colors. The walls of the hallway were all different colors, designed as if someone had taken several cans of paint and splattered it all over the place.

The floor felt cold under her bear feet. She hadn’t even realized she had no shoes on. They must have gotten lost after the rescue from the Dome. Surprisingly, the cold felt good against her skin. It had been a long time since she had walked on tile. Carpet was the flooring of choice for the rest of the buildings in Bryok.

They were only a few seconds into their journey, but Ryder could see the door the end of the hallway, the one they were heading for. A giant ‘O’ was plastered on the front; it was the Othir court.

This was really happening. She was about to stand in front of the Othir and explain everything she remembered (which wasn’t much at all). Too bad they wouldn’t get any answers from her.

“The Othir thinks there’s a way to trigger you memories.” Haleema said suddenly. They had reached the door quicker than Ryder expected. Hesitating, she reached for the doorknob and flung the door open.

There, slumped in a chair against the wall, was Leo.

And she wanted to kill him.

Comments & reviews · 3
xXTheBlackSheepXx wrote a review Review · Aug 10, 2012

haha, so Ryder was originally a brunette... I wasn't too far off picturing her like that, then!

Very interesting twist making Ryder forget the Test, I would've never expected that. I'm really curious as to how this is going to play out. For some reason, I feel like Leo will remember everything.

I can't picture Haleema very well, maybe you can describe her? I imagine her to be maybe an inch or two taller than her friend, light hair, pretty. But that's just my imagination.

I'm noticing some reoccurring dialogue punctuation errors, and I think I corrected a few of them in the previous chapter. I'll try and give you a short lesson, but it's best to look this stuff up yourself and get a more professional explanation.

“But I remember nothing.” Ryder complained.
“The Othir thinks there’s a way to trigger you memories.” Haleema said suddenly.
“Just follow me.” Haleema spoke finally.

In these places, there should be a comma, not a period before the closing quote marks. Why? Because the words after them are dialogue tags. 'Ryder complained' and 'Haleema spoke' aren't complete sentences on their own.

Think of it like this. You wouldn't say
Ryder complained. But I remember nothing!
You'd say
Ryder complained, "But I remember nothing!"
The two things are linked, so you use a comma.

Here's where you did it right:
“That’s where you come in,” Haleema responded, walking back over to her cart.
“That’s so stupid,” she cried out.
“Tell me what happened,” Ryder begged.

I think that's enough of a lesson for now x) I think in the Writing Resources section on YWS there is a nice lesson on dialogue punctuation if you want to check that out.

Another good chapter!!

User avatar
mystogan
Review
mystogan wrote a review Review · Jul 29, 2012

woah, complete turn around and here i was making predictions from the previous chapter, seriously some great stuff...where to begin
1. i like twist in the plot, it is very unpredictable and so it keeps me hooked
2. I like how once again the descriptions are very good, I definitely have that feeling like i knwo what is exactly happening and how everything looks, also i now have a different opinion of Leo which is surprising because i think in the previous chapter he was not how Ryder describes him as, he was much nicer i swear
2.5. The othis people seem annoying, people in the authority are always annoying in every program, book, film, etc. They make you wanna punch them, i am making a fair guess that the othir are gonna be annoying
3. I like the mix between dialogue and description and plot. Nothing is too long, nothing is too short, its all the right amount, a good balance, makes ofr easy reading
4. I like how you build tension where neccessary, at the start how u kept the amnesia part a mystery for a while and then how Leo is presented as an annyoign idiot, "slumped"
5. also the part about the blowing up thing, very curious as to how that will turn out, especially since i didn't expect things to go wrong so early, i guess that is a good thing since it gets right into the heat of thing

But do proof read, a small mistake in the speech at the end, i think one word is misplaced or something, any how keep it up, post when u get the next chapter out

User avatar
Twinkle4ever
Review
Twinkle4ever wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2012

Oh God... poor Leo this time. Anyway, I give you thumbs up for the great turning point. This book could actually win a couple of awards. (I mean it!) And nice job blending in the information in between the dialogues. In some stories the writers just throw in all the info in the beginning of the book and readers find it hard to digest all that. So just be careful you don't do that. (Well, you haven't so no worries) Ryder forgetting her memories was very good thinking. It added more suspense here and it has again got me assuming things on my own. I just don't like the fact that she still wants to kill Leo but I guess that opinion will change in later chapters right? Great story and again, I'll be waiting for more.



How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.
— David Foster Wallace