I know that one day
my troubles will come.
My mistakes will catch up
and my mind will go numb.
I know that one day
my secret will be out.
I’ll have to tell them
what it’s all been about.
I know that one day
I’ll unravel my life.
I’ll lay in my bed
seeping into the night.
I know that one day
I’ll have to face my own fears.
The truth will break open
and squeeze out all my tears.
Worries of the future
are running through my head.
Reality is the monster
hiding under my bed.
The only thing keeping me
from running away
is knowing, is hoping,
that that day is not today.
But I know that eventually
all the bricks will come loose.
My tower will crumble,
they’ll force my neck in a noose.
I’m scared, I’ll admit it,
and it speeds up my heart
to wonder which day
my life will fall apart.
The reason I wrote this poem is because I've really been worrying about my future lately. The thing is, and this may sound really weird to you, none of my siblings or my parents actually know that I'm a writer. I haven't told them, and I don't want to. I won't go into detail, but they can all be very mean and judgmental, and I'm sensitive about my work to begin with. I mean, I love them, but I just don't fit in with them. The idea of them finding out terrifies me to no end, and yet I know that it has to happen eventually. Its really freaking me out... knowing that one day I'm going to have to find the courage to tell them this secret that I've been keeping for so long. This is kind of personal (and stupid), I know, but I decided to post it here anyway. Just needed a way to rant XD.
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139,558 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
One word: wow.
I read this once and layed back to think about it for a second. I think its amazing how you portray the pressire there is (thats how i understood) especially on young people! I love how tge reality hiding under ones bed is a mix of childhood fears and the unkown adulthood which is yet to come...thus its my favourite line by far.
You managed to build up quite a suspense and again the tower metaphor totally got me. All in all super good and RELATEABLE! Which I think is tge most important. Keep it up! Xx
Hey there! Great poem! I really liked it, it is simply brilliant how you use your words to create a picture of worry and fear into my mind, I call that art! This poem shows that you put a lot of thought and effort in it, for it is simple and easy to understand but at the same time, its smart and not too obvious or childish! It is a topic that not many people take the time to writie about, but you did, and I think that is one of the many ideas behing this piece! My favorit lines were :
The only thing keeping me
from running away
is knowing, is hoping,
that that day is not today.
That was put together really well!
Keep writing. I thank you for sharing
The Messenger here to review. So!
) you can to me. I think this piece was amazing, and the fact that it is something in real life makes it all the more good.
Grammar, punctuation, all that stuff is in tip-top shape so I won't speak of that. The content is even better. They way in which you wrote his is a masterpiece of artwork. I love the line about the monster under the bed. You take a childhood fear and turn it into a frightening reality. Things like that really stand out, at least in my opinion. You make this so scary. I didn't know that you were going through quite such a rough time, but if you need to talk( or rant
I really don't have much to say, except to keep on writing no matter what (adversaries will definitely come) and try to stay encouraged. You always have a home here at YWS!
Keep it up!
Hello MysteryMe,
I truly believe that you have a talent in this field and you can go far with something like this. I like the words you use, they're simple, yet so much meaning in each one. I love the lines that say:
"Reality is the monster
hiding under my bed."
And:
"My tower will crumble,
they’ll force my neck in a noose."
Those sentences give me shivers, and not in a bad way at all!
I really enjoyed reading your poem and I believe that it is something that is relatable to a lot of people, especially being a teenager in these times. Worrying about your future is something that a lot of people do. It depends on the person, however, and the situation that the person is worrying about though. Everyone has something different, but I believe that this poem could relate to each and every single person that is having issues with their own future.
Overall: You're poem was really good and really relatable. I will definitely keep an eye out for your poems. You have a talent and I hope that you stick to it. You could go far with what you have got.
-Emily
Oh, wow, Mystery...
I read this first (including the note) without checking who wrote it, then again; when I finally looked, it was a double take.
I'm so sorry that's the case...whatever happens, whenever it does, I'll pray it won't stop you from this. Writing.
My arms are open.
-Max
I think that everyone kinda goes through worrying about their future. So to see that someone else is going through the same thing is... unexpressable.
Great poem! my favorite line is "reality is the monster hiding under my bed". Wish i could write poetry like that