Young Writers Society

Excellent! a simple format and wording, but still charming. I love poems that do that. It had power and really had emotion in it, which any reader would appreciate. It also had a smooth rhythm, with no breaks, which is very, very good. Poems that continuously break the rhythm aren't that good.

The only thing that I didn't like was that the line "Is that normal?" at the beginning and the last line. Those kind of interrupt the poem and they could be deleted.
But, other than that, there aren't any mistakes that I can plainly see.

Keep up the good work, okay?

How is it going my people?
Alrighty, so I love the wording. It's simple, yet very effective. It was very easy to understand and I felt how deep this pool of emotions goes. I love how you wrote "yet yearn for them to crash and burn", it looks like something I would do. That in-line rhyme kind of kicks off that stanza and gives a knew rhythm for that stanza I couldn't help but notice. I find myself questioning the necessity of that last line. Your poem could work without it but I'm not sure if it's more worth it to keep it or delete it. Keep it just in case, I'm sure others have their own things to say and you'll want it there for them. You seem to have a habit of starting off lines with "and". There are worse things than that, but I see that as a little repetitive. I think that's all I have for you. Good luck in everything you write!

Hey there.

First off, loved the poem and the way you described the feelings. They are written as both recognizable to those who know them and have experienced them but also, with your imagery, open the door for those who haven't to empathize with you.

Second, you have a really nice flow and I enjoyed it up until the fifth stanza where I felt like it was lost. You picked it up once more in the next, but for some reason that fifth verse stood out to me. Perhaps if you removed "and beyond" and just left that one part as "into the fiery pits of hell?" I'm not judging or trying to correct you (Lord knows I don't recognize some of the stuff I write) but rather than leave you with just constructive criticism I thought I would offer a possible solution as well?

Of course only you know what you intended and ultimately it must be beautiful and wonderful to you as the writer. I, however, had the pleasure of enjoying it as a reader, so I thank you for sharing.

The last question ended it strong to me. So, yeah, well done!

-Bright

Hey there MysteryMe!

Just a quick review from me as my reviewing skills need some brushing up. I'll just start by saying how much I enjoyed this! It was an excellent piece of writing, my favourite part was this quote:

"Is it normal to watch as they wander by

and admire them more than I can say

yet yearn for them to crash and burn"

You kept a really good rhythm flowing throughout, I'm not one for nitpicking as my grammar is awful at times although this seemed to not have any faults when I read it. I'm sure someone else on this website would be able to help you more with this if I missed something.

Anyway, fantastic work. I absolutely loved it! I can easily relate to this. I can't wait to read more of your work.