There's something beautiful about the sadness,
But it's far too hard to comprehend.
The way you sink down into bitter madness,
Your heart too broken for it ever to mend.
.
There's something wonderful about those tears
That cascade down your cheeks in the swallowing dark.
The salty goodness that only adds to your years,
And the empty knowledge that you're falling apart.
.
There's something heroic about deciding it's time,
And knowing so clear that your ache will not stop.
Your tragic life has been one endless climb,
So you take a deep breath and you let your heart drop.
.
There's something romantic about hanging that rope
With hands that seem far too young and small.
And before you can reclaim any shred of your hope
You force your neck in, and you let yourself fall.
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140,819 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Found this is your portfolio of 'Attempted poems', and I must say this is a really great one! xD Your poems (I'm pretty sure all of them are awesome like this) should not be described as attempted, though. This was really nice.
Well, naturally a sad poem like this really leaves a reader upset. But I admired every word and stanza. They behold a bitter truth about sadness. It was well-written, this part :
"There's something wonderful about those tears
That cascade down your cheeks in the swallowing dark.
The salty goodness that only adds to your years,
And the empty knowledge that you're falling apart."
Precisely describes what sadness is. And to think it rhymes-- oh! It's all too perfect
I think you are my favourite author. While waiting for the next chapter of Winter Asylum, I'll read your other works~
Thank you! I know this is sort of a depressing poem, but I'm so pumped that you liked it!
Anyway, I can't explain to you saying that I'm your favorite author on the YWS means to me. Honestly, it just makes me feel so incredibly proud to be a writer, and that's just such an awesome feeling <3. I can't thank you enough, you're such an amazing person!
Btw, I'm glad your looking forward to my next chapter of Winter Asylum. The thing is, I've already written it and everything, It's just that I'm a little nervous about posting it XD. I've been going through a stage, lately, where I've been feeling a little down about my writing, and I just keep worrying that it's not good enough to post. Don't worry, though, I'll get over it soon. I'll post this week, I think
:O Looking forward to it then! Happy to make you happy ^__^
This was romantically upsetting, I suppose that's the way you want us to see it though. I agree too, it is so true that there is an element of beauty to sadness, and I feel that from the perception of one so troubled that would be true. You succeeded in really capturing what I'd imagine to be the feelings of someone so scarred by life, and so ready to escape. You truly moved me with your words. Well done
Legy.
That was really amazingly awesome! I really liked the last part "and before you can reclaim any shred of your hope, you force your neck in, and let yourself fall" I thought that was really beautiful. You have an awesome way with words! I kinda wish it was longer but at the same time it's long enough
Wow, this is powerful to say the least. I like how you start each stanza off with a different adjective in the first line, especially in the last stanza where you describe hanging as romantic, it really hits the reader hard. The rhyme scheme is wonderful, but there are one or two times where I feel that it's a little forced. Only my opinion though, don't go changing it on my accord
One tiny little nitpick, 3rd stanza, last line, it should be 'take a deep breath' not take a deep breathe'. All in all, while depressing, this poem is amazing and i can really relate to some ideas in it.
Keep it up!
Hey there it's me! KissMe! And I'm going to give this review a poem! Wait.. Reverse that!
Ok enough of that, let's jump/crawl/swim/fly in! What ever you want!
Ok so I want to break this review up into sections.
First thing I wanted to comment on was that this was an amazing piece, personally I lived it! It had nice flow, kept going, and even ended amazingly. I loved the sadness to it yet it made me wonder what made the MC feel the sadness. Great job on this work!
Next I wanted to say that your grammar, spelling, and punctuation was great! Way better than what I can do! An like I said before the flow was great as well. I also love the rimming.
I just wanted to say lastly that I love this stanza-
"There's something romantic about hanging that rope
With hands that seem far too young and small.
And before you can reclaim any shred of your hope
You force your neck in, and you let yourself fall."
It was the one that made me think about how amazing the whole thing was!
Well that's all I wanted to say about this poem! I hope to read some new work from you soon! You are very talented at this you know! Thank you for posting this great piece of work!
Keep writing and follow your dreams!
~KissMe