You tear me to pieces.
Shred me to bits.
And yet I am
Still here.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,862 Reviews
Hello!
How do they tear you to pieces? With what? It hurts, right? Who is the person tearing you apart?As said above, how do they shred you to bits? With what? It hurts, right? Is it still the same person?
How are you still here if you are torn into pieces and shredded into bits?
This definitely needs to be expanded, more explanation for each line. Frankly, it's just too short to be meaningful to anyone but yourself. But I guess that's okay.
Happy Review Day!
yubbies21
Hello my friend! Reviewer here for the Apple Dumpling Gang! This poem was short and powerful! The only thing I found was that you put periods after incomplete sentences. Instead of "You tear me to pieces. Shred me to bits. And yet I am Still here." it should be "You tear me to pieces, Shred me to bits, And yet I am Still here." I may lengthen the phrase a bit more... There was hardly any rhythm in it, but it was exquisitely written. I would say to draw it out a bit more and you will have a superb poem! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading your upcoming works!
~BlimeyLimey217
Timmyjake here to give you a short review on a short poem!
First, I think that your first and second lines should be revised if they are to remain that short. Perhaps: You tear me to pieces,
and shred me to bits?
From then on the lines get even shorter. Too short, in fact. Maybe lengthen them a bit to match the first two? Especially the last line, I think.
In my opinion, the last line should be like closing the book. Something that seals and bonds the whole poem together, but yours seems to lack it somewhat.
Maybe something like: You tear me to pieces, and shred me to bits. Yet here I am, I'm still here.
That sounded terrible, but you probably get at what I am saying.
Overall, I like it a lot, though. The reader can decipher it the way he or she chooses. There are a lot of questions brought up that should be anwered inside, I think. Like kitty says, "More questions, and even more questions!"
Hi, MysteryMe! It's me, Kitty, for a super quick review for a quick poem!
How? I know this is supposed to be short, but four stanzas about each line would be much better than a short, unexplained poem that leaves readers in suspense, walking away with nothing more than only a small amount of information. That way, it's much simpler to understand. This is a rather typical poem, so be sure to add a little bit more uniqueness in order for it to improve.
Also, having a genre would help a whole lot. Maybe something related to the first two lines would have an impact of what the readers are in for.
Again, add some more! Add some extra suspense, then blow it all at the end! That's how a good poem is like.
Why are you still there? How? More questions, and even more questions!
Overall, this poem had a bunch of potential that you didn't push yourself hard enough to use. Still, this was a great poem anyway.
Keep writing, my fellow friend!
~Kitty
Beccalicious94 here to review your work. Although this poem is only four lines, you can see the narrator has strong feelings about an antagonist and how they treat them, but also has a good sense of resilience. I think you could expand this to a longer poem. What else have they done to harm your narrator? How are you still here? Did you have to put up a big fight to do so? I'm curious. Write on!