I wrote this because my dog had to be euthanized today. I mean, we all knew it was coming, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less :(. I feel especially guilty because my dad asked me if I wanted to come to the vet with him (we didn't know for sure that she needed to be euthanized yet, but we were pretty certain) and I said no because I was too afraid of what the vet would say and I didn't want to cry in public. Well, of course, this is dedicated to my dog. This is probably not that great, because I was pretty emotional when I wrote it, but I want to post it anyway.
You are my friend.
Don’t ever forget that.
I loved you to the end
And for far, far longer.
...
Rest in peace is all I can say
For I’m speechless to think that you’re gone.
I’d die a thousand deaths in every single way
If it would bring you back the way you used to be.
...
You were once so young and strong
So powerful and endless
But a gentle dog, all year long
And I miss you more than I can say.
...
But time always passes
It did for you, too.
And like a blind man needs glasses
You needed me to help you.
...
You couldn’t walk, you couldn’t stand
You were suffering in a way I can’t imagine.
You were alive, awake, but no longer so grand,
And I couldn’t stand to see you hurt any longer.
...
In your last moments you were so brave,
And I was such a coward.
I couldn’t bear to watch them take you away,
And now I am lost without you.
...
This poem is my last gift to you
To say I’m sorry for not being there.
Its the least that I could possibly do
For all you've done for me.
...
But I love you, my girl
And don’t you ever forget that
You may no longer be in this world
But I will never forget you.
...
I made the hardest choice of all
I ended your suffering and pain
But now that there’s no friend left to call
Who will end mine?
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Hi! First off, let me say I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how that feels, and therefore this poem almost makes me cry. I love your diction and the style you chose to do this in, because it just aids in breaking my heart. I appreciate you sharing something so personal with us! The only thing I would say is to watch out for stanzas that are too long because they don't fit the rest of the smooth flow. For example, "And I couldn’t stand to see you hurt for any longer" Is a long line compared to the rest of the poem. Also, you could take out the "for" so it's just I couldn't stand to see you hurt any longer. But really, that's just my opinion. Oh, and " I couldn't bare to watch them should be I couldn't BEAR to watch them. Overall, the poem was well written and very melancholic. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
Hi MysteryMe, DK with review on your poem.
This is so sad because I love dogs and I also do dog care service because it is also heartening. So I see a lot of sad memories about dogs including mine.
Just let me point up about the things I like in your poem.
1. It is a sincere confession of the poet.
2. It is based on real experiences.
3. Message to be delivered.
4. Diction impact.
Your poem use the language style that is easily understood by the reader but still meaningful in terms of the experience that you have narrated in the form of poetry.About the (Break), I don't have a comment on it;that was your writing style and I have to respect it.
Overall, your poem greatly affected me in my heart. So keep it up!
Kudos.(Sorry for that)
That was beautiful and I am very sorry for your loss. :'(. But I am here to review so I am gonna point out a few things that could be fixed up.
To start:
"I couldn't even watch to see you them take you away," that line doesn't make sense. Some ways you could change it:
"I couldn't bear to watch them take you away," not a big change. Here's another way you could fix it:
"I couldn't even watch them take you away," again not a big change but I am assuming that's what you meant anyways.
After every stanza you don't have to have '(break)' we as the reader already know that its a break. A few more periods and commas would be nice to see. But I understand this poem wasn't meant to be perfect just to help you grief and vent your pain.
"And I couldn't stand to see you hurt for any longer" that doesn't sound right, I suggest taking out the 'any'.
But other than that it was a lovely poem, and again I am so sorry for your loss.