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125,022 Literary Works • 672,754 Reviews
Thought I'd drop a romantic poem for February!
Here's the text version:
i dream of him in shades of red—
like lips parting in half-lit rooms,
like wine spilling slow over trembling hands.
he writes me poetry in rose petals,
i watch as he spills them across my skin
like scattered verses.
he holds me like he’ll never wake again,
his breath heavy as he wraps his knuckles
around my torso.
he always smells like salt and honey,
something holy and sacred.
my baby leaves me camellias every time he travels—
i often wake to the floral smell that is our love.
in his absence i wear his striped dress-shirts to bed,
just so i can dream about him some more.
he is the red of a thousand sunsets,
the vivid paint that stains all it touches,
red, red, always red.
This caught my eye and I am so happy it did. It is easy to understand and it flows together perfectly! I love all the details in this piece! When you say, "He holds me like he'll never wake again, his breath heavy as he wraps his knuckles around my torso." It makes me think of my own relationship, he does this too and it makes me smile. "He is the red of a thousand sunsets, the vivid paint that stains all it touches, red, red, always red." is a beautiful statement. This poem is amazing!
-Walker34
I hope you have an amazing day! Keep writing!
Hey there, Ley!
This poem caught my attention, especially during the month of love (also, I'd just like to mention that the covers of your works are always so pretty and eye-catching!). This is a very sweet love poem, infused with beautiful language and a romantic sentiment. I really enjoyed this poem.
Right away, we're introduced to the "red" motif used in this poem. You give us material comparisons, both alluding to typically romantic scenes. It sets the mood of the poem and provides unique imagery. I also just love all of these lines in general, especially the opening line!
Again, I love everything about these lines. I love the phrase "scattered verses," but to me, "like" feels like the wrong word. Mainly because I like it's literally happening, not [/i]like[/i] it's happening (if that makes any sense), since he is scattering the petals he'd written on. In my mind, it makes more sense to write "in scattered verses," or something similar. But I did catch that you started three lines within the stanza with "like," so perhaps it was a stylistic choice.
ahh, I love this line! In this stanza, and with this line especially, we see that this love is something to be cherished dearly. It's something powerful and pure. You hit it home on that one!
And then you give us a striking ending to the poem! You circle back to the red motif, giving us more examples of where you see him. And the repetition in the very last line shows that this love is never-ending.
Overall, this was such a delightful poem. I enjoyed reading it, and it had a lot of wonderful imagery woven throughout the piece. Well done on this one! :]
Keep writing. -Avian
Thank you, Avian! <3
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Hi, I'm Charlie, I'm gonna be reviewing and diving into your poem!! ^^
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
From what I can see the context is pretty easy to understand. A girl dreams of a guy who she is in love with, which I think is so sweet!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
It's a pretty good poem, I honestly don't see any!
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
There's a lot I want to point out that I love. Like the sensory details, they don't take up the whole poem whereas it doesn't lack any as while! makes this poem flawless! I also like the way it's worded, it's easy to read. Its straightforward but not too direct which i also loved!
Closing Graham Cracker - I think this is a really good piece!
Well that's all from me, have a good night/day!