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139,295 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Hi Ley! Valkyria here to leave a quick review of your lovely work. Every poem of yours is so incredible and emotional, and this is no different. Let's get into it:
The imagery in this poem is so sharp that I can believe that there is an actual hurricane building inside of you. And speaking of that, you do a good job of matching the frenzy and destruction of the storm with your internal feelings. As Ellie said, there is a good balance between the literal and the emotional sides. I also love the formatting, how a sentence breaks up into two lines while another sentence finishes up the second line. It sounds wonky when I explain it, but I'm using the first stanza as an example. The metaphors are powerful and poetic. Every description is vivid. Well done!
Ahhhh, Ley! I loved this one so much!! Review time
First of all, to begin, I love how you apply all of these physical experiences to very deep, emotional feelings. We have the very literal side, which is you being in a storm warning and then we have the more emotional side where you apply all of these physical sensations to something that means a lot more, which I thought was super cool. You have such an amazing way of doing that in poetry! That is some thing that I really admire in your work.
One thing that I'm going to say right now, because I know that I will forget later: I find when we upload photos of text poems they look so aesthetically pleasing! That's why all of yours always look so so amazing. One thing that I would recommend, is posting a text version of it in the comments. It just makes it a lot easier for reviews because normally when I copy and paste from your photo, it sort of messes up all of the text and stuff. But anyways, that's not actually related to your poem XD
LOVE this! Normally, the battleground is the ground, not the sky. Reading your poetry, and seeing these contrasts really gives me this feeling of being lost, and confused. I love how you follow up all of these descriptions, with such vivid words, such as describing the clouds swirling intensely in the sky. The lightning is not just flashing, but it is stabbing. You use such a vivid and beautiful vocabulary, which makes it so easy for me to stay engaged with your work.
A hurricane can destroy, but does it decide on being a hurricane? Does it want this life? Is it even able to stop? I like the connection that you use between your mind and your heart. We normally associate the mind with being more logical, while the heart is some thing which moves more freely, according to love and emotions. So I interpret this is you saying that your logical mind feels out of control, which is resulting in your emotional life being destroyed. This is not only affecting the people around you, but yourself too. Honestly, I could comment on every single line in this poem, because every single line is filled with vivid imagery. I love the description of eyes being dry like sandpaper.
What a fantastic ending. I like how all of our sentences seem to blend together- never being allowed to end, like this-I liked how you applied this to your literal life too. All of the storm and the warnings that you have received comes back to how you feel on the inside. That's another thing that I've noticed a lot in your poetry. You're great at starting us off with a big idea and then revisiting it in the very end. Fantastic work with that! Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and reviewing it too. Every single line was beautiful and so poetic. You truly are a fantastic poet and I look forward to your poems every single time. I really hope that the storms die down soon and that you can find your, peace, both internally and externally. Keep on writing, friend! You are fantastic.
Your friend,
Ellie
Thank you!!! Love the feedback <3 and I will start putting text in the comments, thank you for pointing that out!