Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
A Prayer to Hecate
*The italics are paganism prayers, I did not write these lines!*
oh, hecate, ancient goddess of the night,
your torch illuminates the mystic fight,
guardian of my crossroads, holder of the key,
unveil the path, set me free.
as I set up my altar,
I write down my intentions.
I will prosper. I will live a,
long and healthy life.
I place my black tourmaline,
in the center of the spread.
may it protect me through this chant.
and as I light my sage,
I take a deep breath and hum,
as that's the only way.
the only way I'll be successful.
I scribble down pentagrams and,
pentacles, my so ancient runes.
earth, air, water, and spirit.
feathers, bones, and leaves surround me,
and I draw their energy outwards into,
my body.
fill me until I am of the soil.
I light an incense, and smudge,
a palo santo stick onto my,
cold forehead.
cleanse this room, please.
next, I light my prosperity candles,
and breathe in the scent of,
mugwort and coffee beans.
give me energy, for I am tired.
oh, holy hecate, I pray you, grant me the knowledge of what is hidden in the depths of the cosmos.
grant me understanding of the secret thoughts, of the heart. let me know what is concealed within the innermost recesses of the soul.
oh, holy hecate, reveal to me the truth of the future.
guide me in the direction of immortality.
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wish you well.
you grinded my bones into thin powder,
threw my no longer beating heart into the garbage,
decapitated my thoughts from my brain,
and shoved what remained of my body into a wishing well.
atleast, that's what it felt like.
and to this day, i'm still overcome with lifeless
dreams of you that haunt my thoughts.
i see you in every hallway, and each time i do
i feel like i'm falling back into the wishing well.
and i watch your life in pictures,
i sit on the bathroom floor and hug the teddy bear
from the county fair we went to last spring.
it still smells like you.
i'd wish you well,
but it seems someone already did.
because you're are doing much better
than you were when you were with me.
so i'll just sit alone in the shower
and let the ice cold water send goosebumps
down my spine.
i'll watch from afar as you marry her,
and forget me with
each passing moment.
and maybe one day, i'll take my heart back
and shove it back into my chest,
where it belongs.
so, here it goes. i will say it.
not for you,
but for me.
i wish you well.
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Shattered Sculptures
Being a woman is like embodying a sculpture,
made of ceramic or glass, people judge.
lines so thin that we seem easy to fracture,
we wear water resistant mascara so it doesn't budge.
We dry our eyes with damaged towel,
and try to wipe away our insecurities.
and I say these words with pain in every vowel,
because oh how I wish I weren't me.
I wish my chest was flat, devoid of any curves,
and i wish my lips weren't so full and misleading.
because all men say is "she got what she deserves"
and every time they do, my heart starts bleeding.
I am woman, we are the only ones that truly create life
yet it still feels like we're still fighting for the right to live.
should I threaten the enemies with a dull-bladed knife?
I just don't think i have it in me to forgive.
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*NOTE from author: I am not looking for critiques on formatting/grammar. That includes capitalization and punctuation. Some poems (and lines) are capitalized, some are not, simply because that's the vibe I was going for within the poems. I would like feedback on the content and words though. Thank you! :D
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,754 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Ahh a beautiful little collection here. So different in their messages but each one equally as powerful and painting their own picture in such an incredible way.
Anyway let's get right to it,
A Prayer to Hecate
Ooh our first poem here really speaks of a powerful and very personal sounding experience here. Its one of those where there's really nothing too much to interpret here and its simply a beautiful picture that's slowly painted to you. Touching one by one on the preparations being made, everything falling into place one by one as the atmosphere of it all and the smells that ground this moment and bring it to the significance it carries are taking hold.
I honestly don't have much more to say here, it really just immerses you in this environment of devotion, safety and also at the same time almost longing is how I would describe. Its a poem that just resonates in your mind several hours after you've read it.
wish you well.
Oh wow this one hits you HARD here. Just no mercy whatsoever with this one. The emotions at play are absolutely incredible here and wow does it hit incredibly hard. Just the thought of someone who was invested in this relationship before just being tossed out carelessly and then the other person just moving on so easily.
This start is just incredibly in grounding that notion, just viscerally showcasing the effects, leaving this person unable to function, unable to breathe and just barely coping with it all. The way it backs it up then with how this person has been trying to cope, holding on unable to fully let go just a shell of themselves. Its an incredible picture.
I think the ending is wonderful too, just showcasing how this person having seen how effortlessly the other moved on knows that it is time to let go, and that the only way out of this is to move on forward and I think that last couple of stanzas just sum it beautifully.
A delightful little poem that well admittedly is quite heartbreaking but it is beautiful in the way you bring its message across.
Shattered Sculptures
Oh wow, it seems this one was just really in order of intensity here because this one hits even harder here wow. I mean it has its share of metaphors of course but the message here is just completely unmistakable hitting you straight on and its another one that's heartbreakingly beautiful here.
I honestly am at a loss for how much more I can add here. Its an incredibly display of how people treat women all too often in this current world and all the horrifying excuses they use to justify it and that challenge the end there, is just incredible. This stanza
is just beautiful, those first two lines especially just resonate so incredibly powerfully and ahh I'm honestly just left here clapping with the only thing to say being. "Louder! For the people in the back!"
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a wonderful collection that was amazing to read! That really is about all I have left to say here!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Thank you Kate <3333 !!!
Hey Ley, Ellie here to review your poems! I always love what you write, so I knew I had to review these for you!!!
As you requested, I will be reviewing the content and words, not grammar/formatting (which actually look great BTW!)
1- A Prayer to Hecate
I adore the combination of the prayer in italics and your own words. I think you did a wonderful job mixing these together. Your commentary and personal descriptions really added to this prayer and felt like a was reading a novel version of a prayer, but in poetry form... if that makes any sense haha!
I love your choices of words. For example, these lines flowed so well:
2- wish you well.
WOW! What a way to begin a poem. This really got my attention. I love the last line about the wishing well. decapitated thoughts, grinned bones, WOW! My only suggestion would be to change the second line slightly. How do I explain this... okay, to me the word garbage sounds too formal compared to the rest of the lines which seem quicker and and more like they are focuses on the pain aspect. I think that if you used the word 'trash' instead, it would sound a bit less formal. Does that make any sense? I guess it's sort of the feeling associated with the word garbage that made it stood out a bit to me. Or you could say 'away' too, as in thrown away.
since 'into the wishing well' is a direct repeat of the sentence you used in the previous stanza, perhaps you could change it slightly for more of a dramatic effect. 'Back down the wishing well' could also work. There are no problems with your wording, just adding this for dramatic effect could help.
wow, so much to say. these are brilliant, Ley!! the image of sitting in the cold shower really resonated with me. WONDERFUL!! This is so relatable. Not because I have been in this exact situation, but because I can feel the pain and emptiness and longing so strongly. I love the last part. it is YOU who has to take your heart back, not anyone else. despite these pains from others, ultimately you are still the one taking the heart back and putting it where it belongs. so beautiful, seriously. youre going to make me cry with this one!
3- Shattered Sculptures
right from the start, love this metaphor.
the flow of this part was a little off for me. maybe 'a damaged tower' or 'towels' (but towels would ruin your rhyme a bit) would be better words. though I know you don't want critique on grammar and stuff, but overall I loved this so much. the thought of damaged towels being used to dry damaged peoples tears is the most beautiful image. I relate to this so so hard.
can I just say, your rhyming is lovely! taking such a difficult topic of being a woman, here stretching into the body and body image, while rhyming?!? AMAZING, WOW! That 'she got what she deserves' statement is horrible and I appreciate you bringing this into a poem. I love the comparison of a statue to real life and the expectations placed on us because of our bodies.
and the lines were my favorite from this poem:
I love how you save the best for last, haha! Brilliant, seriously.
Ley, I love your poetry so much! What an amazing poet you are!! I really hope you post more soon!!
Your friend (and fellow potato lover)
Ellie
Ahhh! Thank you, and I definitely see what you mean by changing the word %u2018garbage%u2019 to %u2018trash%u2019. A super good suggestion! And thank you for all your lovely comments <33