i am half a woodland spirit : half wounded bird
i startle myself once i speak my own name and
hide beneath my own ribs when someone
gets too close. i don't know how to love you
(this is the only way i know how).
⋆˚࿔
i tried to do it quietly, like a candle, like
the roots beneath our earth. i love you in
the places that everyone else
is afraid to look.
(especially in the second before i say your name
and decide to keep it sacred instead.)
⋆˚࿔
my eyes betray me when they
find you in crowded rooms
so easily. as if it was fate
(naturally : like when birds follow the sun).
⋆˚࿔
i wonder if you know
how often i have almost confessed
(on my knees, hands clasped
until you told me to stand).
⋆˚࿔
how do i tell you that you have become
the moonlight trapped in my curtains?
that you are the reason i now
measure time differently?
(i used to follow the stars
before i met you).
⋆˚࿔
one day i will tell you that
you are my favorite place
to return to
(i am still a creature
of the woods, after all).
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Canary word: Present
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135,834 Literary Works • 671,762 Reviews
This is such a tender and beautiful poem with some amazing natural imagery running through it. Your parenthetical asides (the parts inside the brackets!) do a lot of heavy emotional lifting. They land as something the speaker didn't quite mean to say out loud, which stays true to the shy, hidden-love themeolgy of the piece.
This is breathtaking imagery. The idea that someone can become something sort of 'mundane' that is still objectively beautiful just brings the poem to life.
I don't have many critiques, some language leans more into traditional romantic poetry, such as
which is still lovely, but maybe the tiniest bit cliché? I think you could lean more into the nature imagery in these sections.
Overall, your poem is very gentle, almost a meditation about loving someone quietly and being frightened of your own feelings <3
Keep writing! <3
This is a very emotional piece of writing. The speaker in this poem seems to be deeply in love with someone but cannot find the courage to openly express their feelings. It is my understanding that the speaker considers themself to be a woodland spirit and the person they are in love with to be the forest they always return to. Whether the speakers is actually a spirit or not, their affection for the other person is so strong that it has become their reason for living, at least from what I could tell from reading this poem. I noticed that you only used lowercase letters in this poem. If this is simply a stylistic choice, then I see no reason for you to fix it. Nicely written!