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139,295 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Text Version:
space isn’t just emptiness,
it’s a living, breathing expanse.
there is no silence here—
not truly. it hums with a living
cosmic heartbeat,
a low, thrumming pulse
of stars colliding, galaxies twisting.
it’s too vast for my eyes to truly see,
to cast off this heavy cloak of skin,
to become pure energy.
to be a star—
a furnace of light,
wrapped in the softness of
nothingness, burning to simply exist.
i imagine myself unraveling,
losing the edges that define me,
until i am nothing but light—
stretched across the cosmos,
weaving through nebulas, swimming
through my world that once turned to ash.
oh, to be so bright that it blinds those with eyes.
i would be weightless,
suspended in oblivion,
my heat radiating out in every
direction until
there is nothing left of me but stardust.
You wrote a lovely poem
Please keep writing
More poems
Every single day
Overall it's very well written poem.
Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I apologize for this being a touch short. However, I hope my thoughts will brighten your busy day nonetheless. With all that preamble out of the way, I should start the review properly. Let's get into it, shall we?
Overall this is an extremely impressive piece of poetry. I am starting to think that is your usual level of writing and I love reading it. Despite your hectic life, I can tell you are getting back into the writing mojo. That's not to say that your other poetry about your daughter was bad in fact it was tooth rottingly sweet. It is just nice to see you back up and running so quickly.
Where do I even begin with compliments, this is amazing. The idea behind this piece screams spirituality and divinity in such a beautiful way. I know it might sound insane but feels so fitting for the night sky and space in general. A part of me thinks that this could be an amazing stand alone and the other half thinks that this would fit perfectly in one of your novels. Perhaps the son of the night as it screams of Nyx by vibe alone.
Furthermore, I want to highlight your imagery. Once again you blow it out of the water so much so I think the water is gone. I could picture the swirling colours of the galaxy as the MC floated through it. Honestly, it was as calming as it was breathtaking. I must have you know that I have trouble picturing my work but this was so vivid it felt like a whole novel.
Also wow that is such a powerful last line!
Now normally here is where I would go into feedback. However, I will admit I couldn't find anything that caught my eye when it came to feedback. So I think If you don't mind I will go into my closing thoughts.
I so thoroughly enjoyed reading this. One might say that I was spellbound or starstruck over how lushly it was written. I hope that my thoughts weren't too disjointed I might be a tad sleepy writing this.
Regardless I hope you and your family are doing well. Please do take your time as I know you are highly busy but I cant wait to see what you write next. As always keep creating and drink water!
Thank you so much! <3
Hello Ley! It's gruzinkerbell, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:
The Good Stuff
-The personification here is beautiful. I really feel like the emotions and experiences of space and stars are tangible.
- Secondly, the poem throughout feels like it reflects on the first to verses, and how 'expansive' space is. The emotions are expansive, and it feels like multiple layers to a very profound character.
- After rereading a bit, I think I understand the longing of this character better- to be bright and pure. To be nothing else. It feels like an excellently hidden way of a 'strive for perfectionism', but much less toxic, and more like a beauty that can never be held. I love it.
Room For Improvement
I honestly have nothing for you to improve here. I know you usually write very deep poems that you pour your heart and soul into, but gosh. This is borderline philosophy. I love how deeply, intricately, and beautifully you explain the nuanced emotions of life.
- Honestly, this is such an amazing poem, and it has you written all over it. It feels so beautiful, so elegant, but heavy. It also feels unique to your other poems- mostly because I can't place a trace of romance in your poems (which is a good thing), but I love it! Keep doing what you do best, Ley.
Happy writing, and have a blessed day!
Serrurie
Thank you! <33
I have
enjoyed reading
Your poetry
Very much